


Lead Me Not to Temptation

by wolfpawn



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Heartbreak, Infidelity, Pregnancy, Secrets, Smut, Tumblr: imagine-loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 67,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfpawn/pseuds/wolfpawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Imagine Loki Prompt </p><p>Imagine being chosen to be Loki’s wife, and while at first you loath the idea, you came around and actually fall in love with Loki, and he falls in love with you. But the day before the wedding, Odin changes the arrangement and suddenly you’re being whisked away to marry Thor instead. You and Loki manage to have a secret affair and things are perfect, until you fall pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

Kari scoffed. “A privilege? I know nothing of the man father and neither do you, so how for one second can you call it a privilege, he could be abusive, cruel and sadistic for all you know.” 

“Hold your tongue Kari; this is Prince Loki of whom you are speaking of.” Her father chastised. 

“Names and titles do not exclude a person of being capable of such crimes, if anything, it protects them.” 

“But it does not permit you to assume them capable of them either. For as much of a chance that there is of Prince Loki of being as you accused him of being, there is an equal chance that he is anything but, he could just as easily be a caring and doting husband.” Eirik retorted. 

Kari very much doubted it. He was a prince and a warrior, so she was willing to wager he was spoiled, egotistical and crude. And he being the second prince and not the first born; which made her think that he also harboured bitter sentiments towards his brother; so hardly a man that could be likely to dote on her. But she was forced to concede and in turn hope that her father was right, and that Loki may not be as bad as she feared. 

She was brought to the palace to meet Loki and get to know him a little before their wedding. Kari was forced to admit to herself that the palace was very much to her liking. She was welcomed by the Allmother, Queen Frigga, who smiled at her with genuine joy on seeing her, and she was shown to her rooms. The Queen informed her, that she and Loki would be dining together alone on a terrace overlooking the gardens at noon for their lunch. Kari nodded and bid her farewells before turning around and deciding where in the beautifully decorated room she would place her different belongings. 

All too soon, a maid called to her chambers, informing her that her lunch was served and for her to make her way to the aforementioned terrace and luckily, the maid showed her the way ensuring that she got there on time. The maid, who she now knew to be named Mischa, left her at the doorway before bowing politely and continuing with her work. 

After quickly checking herself over to ensure she was presentable, Kari walked slowly onto the terrace. There, with his back turned to her, looking over the gardens was Prince Loki. She had seen him from afar before on a few occasions, but never had she taken the time to pay any true heed to him. 

He was tall, thin, with dark hair and pale skin, many of his features not often associated with Aesir men, but he had such grace, it made him look all the more regal. He also seemed to exude confidence, and was always so stoic looking, those features concerned Kari. She had heard him being called the God of Mischief, but she could not imagine for one moment, someone as stern looking as the man in front of her to hold such a title. 

As though sensing that he was no longer alone, Loki turned. His face showing his displeasure and contempt, it caused Kari to take a step back. “So you are Kari Eirikdottir.” Kari nodded. “I am Loki.” He bowed slightly, his features unchanging. 

“Your Highness.” She curtsied in return, her voice shaky. 

“We are supposed to eat alone with one another in hopes of actually getting to know one another.” He indicated to the two chairs. Taking the hint Kari walked over to the far one and sat, placing her hands in her lap and staring at them, terrified to touch anything. Loki studied her closely for a moment before he too sat down. A servant brought out some food, bowed and left. Loki began to eat silently while Kari simply stared at the food. “I hope you are not awaiting a written invitation.” He commented coldly. “It is not poisoned.” 

“I am simply not hungry Your Highness.” Kari just stared at her plate. 

“It is most frowned upon in all society not to look at a person when you are conversing with them, which is even more so with royalty.” 

Kari forced herself to look up, straining with her reluctant body to look him in the eye. “Sorry.” She murmured. 

“I see you are as happy about this situation as I.” He commented, placing another forkful of food into his mouth. 

“You are a prince; surely something of this nature was almost a guarantee for you. I on the other hand, was only informed about it the day before yesterday.”

“As Asgard is not currently at war with any realm, or indeed trying to strengthen any bonds with those she is allied with, I had hoped not to have been forced into such a marriage.” 

“Yes well, the daughter of Asgard’s chief armour supplier is clearly the best your parents saw fit to give you. You must have annoyed them a great deal for them to land you with one such as me.” 

“You do not think very highly of yourself with a statement such as that.” 

“I am aware of my position in life, as I have been informed that I should consider myself highly privileged to be able to become your wife.” 

Loki became somewhat indignant. “Do you think yourself not?”

“I do not know anything about you, being you wife could be a living Hel for all I know.”

“Well it is clear which one of us is getting the better end of the deal here. As you state, you hold no titles, you should be grateful.” 

Kari rose to her feet. “Grateful? It appears the only thing I have to be grateful for is that this palace is so big that I may be able to spend much of my days well away from you. I am sure that there is a library or drawing room that will ensure that I do not have to lay eye on you or you on me, you pompous snob.” She turned and stormed back into the palace leaving a very flabbergasted Loki in her wake.


	2. The Easily Bruised Ego of a 'Pompous Snob'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is forced to accept he is at fault for how disastrous lunch went, so he is then forced to try and rectify it.

Chapter 2

Loki was scowling as he finished his meal in silence, angered by Kari’s manner towards him. When he heard the distinct sound of particular footsteps towards the terrace, he groaned audibly. 

“Loki, brother, I see that you have been stood up.” Thor noted looking around. 

“Indeed but I have not.” Loki scoffed in return. 

Thor looked around confused. “Well none other than ourselves are here and her plate is left untouched.” 

“She was here, but she has left.” Loki grumbled, not sure as to why he was telling Thor so much. 

“So is she gone to the bathroom then? You should know better than to have started eating without her. Mother would admonish you for such a thing.” Loki stared out to the gardens with his elbow on the table and his finger to his lips as he shook his head in response. “Did you find her grotesque and sent her off?” 

“She is most easy to look at actually, I would even go so far as to say that she is quite beautiful.” 

“Really” Thor raised his brows as he sat opposite Loki and began to eat at the second plate of food. “You seldom accuse women of being such a thing. So if she is so fetching, what happened?” 

“She called me a ‘pompous snob’ and left.” 

Thor almost choked on the piece of chicken he had been chewing on, erupting in laughter at Loki’s admission. “Oh, I think I like this woman already.” 

“I have little doubt she does not hold you in much better a regard as she does me.” Loki scoffed. 

“Don’t care, still like her.” Thor grinned. “So, other than the fact she is honest and beautiful, what else were you able to learn of her?” 

“Only that she seems to like libraries and drawing rooms, especially as places to retreat from an unwanted soon to be spouse.” 

Thor gave another chortle, earning him a glare from Loki. “Yes, I heard mother state that she is quite the avid artist, and apparently loves poetry also. I would have thought you well suited, hence my being here now, I was expecting to see you both deep in conversation about some poet I was forced to study but never paid any actual attention to.” 

Loki gulped as he thought of what Thor had informed him. Kari was not some vapid beauty to just look good on his arm, she clearly was intelligent also. “Well she is not trained in how to address those if higher station than her.” He commented childishly. 

“According to mother, she was courteous and polite, though very shy.” Thor informed him. 

“She called me a pompous snob!” Loki argued. 

“A fairly accurate analogy I would have thought.” Thor grinned at seeing that Loki was less than happy. “Did you give her a valid reason to call you that?” Loki did not answer, which in itself was Thor's answer. “So you are annoyed that she did not take your condescending comments and tone without argument?” 

“I was not condescending.” 

“What was it that you said?” 

“That she was without title and lucky in her fortunes to be marrying as she is.” Thor stared at him open mouthed. “Okay, so it may have been slightly condescending.” 

“Slightly? Loki it is only possible for you to have been more condescending if you had patted her on the head and asked her if she was bleeding at present. You truly have screwed up brother.” 

Loki glared spitefully at Thor, irked that the usually dim older prince was giving him advice. “Go annoy someone else.” He snapped as he rose from his chair and stormed off in a similar manner as Kari before him. 

Thor laughed loudly behind him. “You know that I am right brother.” He called out thunderously. 

Loki used his seidr to slam the door shut, effectively leaving Thor locked out on the terrace. 

X X X X X X X

Loki paced for some time in his quarters, he needed to be the one to apologise, much to his chagrin, and he knew it. So he decided to think over what he would say, while he also sent his hand servant to retrieve something he thought would be a good gift for Kari. He was so occupied in thinking of what to say, that he failed to hear his mother enter his chambers. He had been pacing, and when he turned again and walked back towards the door he halted, seeing her disapproving face. “Oh.” 

“Loki Odinson, what on earth did you say to that poor girl?” Frigga questioned. 

“She told you.”

“I do not think she has been seen by anyone other than her handmaid since she had to so embarrassingly leave the lunch she was supposed to be having with you. I went to the terrace to see how you both were faring only to find Thor locked on it. And before you accuse him of being a blabbermouth, I demanded he tell me everything, crowned prince and warrior or not, he is not foolish enough to withhold anything from me.” 

“He still told you, so by definition, he is still one.” 

“Do not toy with me Loki.” The Allmother warned.

“She said something that wounded my ego, so in retaliation, I said some horrible things, but I am currently working on remedying the situation.” Loki explained. 

Frigga looked at her son. “Set it right Loki.” 

“I am going to mother, you have my word.” With a final nod, Frigga left, not all too happy with her son, but satisfied that he was going to try and rectify his error. 

Loki paced outside the door of Kari’s chambers for a few minutes holding the gift he had hoped would assist him in apologising to her. Finally, he built up the courage to knock. 

A young woman answered, and on seeing the prince, she bowed. “My Lord, I fear my mistress is not here at present.” 

“Do you per chance know where she is?” 

“To be honest your Highness, she told me in the off chance of you arriving here to tell you to…well it is not really fitting talk to have around a man of your standing. All I can tell you is that when she left, she took with her some paper and her favourite pencils, though she never actually specified where it was that she was going.”

“What is it she most likes to draw?”

“Animals my Lord, especially wild ones.” 

Loki nodded as the maid closed the chambers door. He thought to himself. The palace used to have a menagerie, but his parents had thought it cruel to keep wild animals enclosed in such small spaces, so they had it closed down. Perhaps she could have gone to the gardens, the many colours of the flora within inspiring her, not to mention the endless insects and birds that inhabited them. But then again, their disastrous lunch may have marred their beauty for her. He sighed as he rubbed his eyes wearily with his hand. There were no wild animals at the palace, and not too many domestic ones either, bar a cat or two, and maybe the few hounds that were used for hunting. He froze as a though came to him; the other animal required for hunting, the horses. He would wager everything he owned that if there was any animal in the whole palace to pique her interest, it would surely be his father’s eight legged steed, after all, he was the only such creature in all the realms, and now Kari would only need to ask and she would be shown him. Taking his gift, he rushed to the stables.


	3. Reconciliation and Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds Kari in hopes of making amends, even though she forgives his previously rude behaviour, it does not guarantee their happiness, especially when the Allfather changes everything.

Chapter 3

Kari had never seen a creature like him; he was without a doubt, the most extraordinary horse. His mane and tail were long and wavy; each of his eight legs was strong, all donning perfectly polished hooves and groomed hair on the fetlock. He truly was a magnificent creature. 

Thankfully he had been let out to grass when she had arrived. The stablehand warned her not to get too close, but that the horse tended to remain fairly stationary as he grazed; only cantering around after his initial release into the paddock. So she simply found a bale to sit on and began to draw, grateful of a distraction. 

Loki, it transpired over their lunch, was worse than she had ever feared. He was truly horrible to her, and there was nothing she was going to be able to do about it. She was under no illusions, her own behaviour left a lot to be desired, but in her defence, he had started it by being so cold towards her. He had been right, she too had wanted nothing to do with the marriage they were being forced into, but she had never planned to take out her frustration on him, while clearly he had decided to do so with her. But as it stood, she did not have to think of that horrid lunch, instead she found herself enjoying the glorious afternoon’s sun and a new model for her sketches. 

At first Sleipnir seemed intrigued by the stranger looking at him, but on realising that the stranger was neither a threat, nor likely to sneak him an apple he soon ignored her. Kari worked away, completely engrossed in her work; while the stablehands did their chores around her, unanimously deciding that they liked the quiet and polite girl that was to be their new princess. 

Kari was taking a moment to analyse how she had done the hair on the stallion’s mane, grateful for there being no wind when she sensed someone behind her. “Sorry, do you need this…” She turned and realised who it was that was standing behind her. “bale.” The last word was barely a whisper. 

“Your drawing is exquisite.” Loki state politely. Kari held the sketch close to her chest. “I apologise, I did not mean to see it, but I caught a glance as I came up behind you. You are extremely talented, it almost looks alive.” 

Kari eyed Loki suspiciously. She ran through his words in her mind, wondering if there was a second, more malicious meaning to them. “Thank you.” 

Loki nodded. “I have been looking for you.” 

“Well you found me. How I do not know, or indeed why, but none the less, you have.” 

“I asked your maid where you were, she would not repeat what you had instructed her to tell me, so I can only imagine the content. As for how, I asked her what it was you liked to draw, she stated animals, so I deducted you would want to see the most prized creature the palace has to offer.” He indicated to Sleipnir. “As for why, I wish to speak with you.” 

“Was there another demeaning and condescending comment you wished to add, that only came up with after my leaving? Am I to feel a great need to worship you as well as feel great gratitude, honour and privilege for having been chosen for you?” 

“I owe you an apology, I should not have said those horrible words to you. It was cruel and unkind, not to mention completely uncalled for.” 

Kari studied Loki for a few moments, wondering if he was in fact being truthful. “I understand that had we met under different circumstances, you would never have even considered me for your bride, but to take out your frustration on me is unjust. I too am less than pleased as to how this has transpired, but I never thought to blame you for it, not once.” She fiddled with one of the pencils in her hand, looking at it as she spoke. 

Her words only caused Loki to feel guiltier. She had felt as he had, and yes, on their initial meeting, she had not come across as aggressive, but saddened and shy. “I am sorry, I genuinely am. Although, I have to say you are incorrect on one matter. You cannot say for certain that had we met under different circumstances, I would not have considered you, as you have stated before, we do not actually know one another. I have not given you the opportunity to tell me the first thing about yourself.” 

“Well I thank you for your apology, and yes, you are right, we know nothing of one another.” 

“So I propose we redo our lunch, perhaps tomorrow?” He asked hopefully. 

“I fear I cannot, the palace seamstress has demanded my presence from breakfast til dinner. Apparently there is a lot of clothing to prepare for my wardrobe.” 

“Yes, you are to be paraded around like the dazzling beauty you are for the whole realm to behold.” Loki smiled. “Breakfast then?” He attempted, still hopeful. 

Kari nodded, blushing slightly at him calling her such a thing. “I suppose that will work.” 

Loki realised that she was as shy as he was told. “I got you this by the way, as part of my apology.” Loki extended the small gift to her. 

“That is not necessary.” She did not step forward to take it. “I do not require gifts to try and win my favour.” 

Loki was somewhat unsure at first as to how to respond. “It is not that I am trying to win your favour, I just wanted to do something for you.”

Kari gave a small smile as she took the gift. “Thank you.” Loki gave a small hopeful smile in return. “You wish for me to open it in front of you, don’t you?” Loki bit his lips together and gave a small nod. Sighing, Kari put down what few pieces she had in her hands apart from the gift, which she unwrapped, noting Loki’s hopeful face as she did. 

It was a small wooden box that seemed to have little of note about it from the outside, so she gently opened the little clasp keeping it shut before lifting the lid carefully. As she did, her eyes grew wide and she gasped. 

“I know that these are not really available on realm here, but I think you may be able to find use for them, won’t you?” Kari just nodded speechless. “So just for the record, I chose well?” He asked hopefully; and again he was met with a nod. “Wonderful.” He beamed proudly. Taking her drawing and pencils, Loki extended his arm to her. “Kari Eirikdottir, will you do me the immense honour of permitting me to escort you back inside?” Still utterly in shock from the wonderful gift Loki had given her, Kari closed the box carefully and took Loki up on his request, walking back inside by his side, her arm locked in his. “So, I hear that you are a fan of poetry, by any chance have you ever heard of the Midgardian by the name of William Shakespeare?” 

X X X X X X

Much to their mutual surprise, Loki and Kari were similar in many ways, and had some similar interests. Loki realised that though Kari adored drawing, she seldom let anyone see her work as she was terrified of ridicule and criticism. He thought her to be incredibly talented, so he rubbished her claims, but never forced her to show anyone her work, though he delighted in when she braved showing him, knowing that it was her revealing herself to him in a most vulnerable manner, which made him feel highly privileged. 

Kari realised that Loki’s great love was not actually reading as she had initially thought, but in seidr wielding. It was something he had learned from his mother, and was a mutual passion of theirs. But as time went on, he studied harder and even exceeded her in his abilities and now held the title of the most powerful seidr wielder known in all the realms. That had not aided his slightly inflated ego in the slightest she commented.

They enjoyed their time together, debating and retelling different stories from their lives at any opportunity they could. Thor found their company highly nauseating for a finish, though he was pleased to have witnessed his brother fall utterly in love with his wife to be, and Thor found her very amiable too. 

Loki also realised that though she stated otherwise, Kari enjoyed receiving gifts, so long as they were inexpensive and useful. So after his initial gift of the box of charcoals, he gifted her with everything from an easel to books on different realm art. Kari had felt guilty at the one sided gesture, so she drew him some of her most incredible work. Loki himself was not an artist as he had very little natural ability, but he knew how to appreciate it. The day that Kari gave him a painting she had done, where he was wielding his seidr in a match against Thor, one that he had won, he declared his love for her. She said it back to him immediately after. They were incredibly happy and eagerly anticipating their impending wedding day, which was soon to come. 

The night before, a large banquet was held with many dignitaries from all walks of life across the Nine Realms present. Loki and Kari looked at each other in adoration throughout the meal while also talking to Thor who was sitting beside them, who Kari had come to like in a brotherly manner. At the end of the meal, Odin rose to his feet, prompting the whole room to fall silent. “My esteemed guests, we have the great honour of hosting you here tonight in preparation of a wonderful and joyous day tomorrow.” Loki and Kari shared a smile with one another. “It has come to my attention, and that of the court, that Kari Eirikdottir is everything the realm could ask for in a royal woman.” There was a loud murmur of agreement. “Hence it has been decided that though Eirikdottir was to marry Prince Loki, she will now marry Prince Thor instead.” The hall erupted in cheers as Loki, Kari and even Thor stared at the Allfather in silent and sheer disbelief.


	4. Take Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor try to make Odin see sense, when he does not, Loki decides to leave, but first he has to say goodbye to Kari, who begs him to do one last thing for her.

Chapter 4

“Why?”

“How?” 

“Mother.” 

“Father.” 

Loki and Thor pleaded with their parents as they sat looking up at their panicked sons in their private quarters after the banquet and the revelation. 

“Enough. My decision is final.” Odin stated forcefully. 

Frigga looked at her husband, her face showing that she did not agree with his actions either. 

“You knew.” Loki accused, Frigga could not meet her younger son’s eye. “You knew he was going to do this, and you did not have the decency to even warn us. Did you even attempt to alter his decision?” 

“Your mother argued on your behalf.” Odin revealed. “But this is my decision as the King, the Allfather. My duty is firstly to the realm. The girl is better suited to being Thor's wife, everyone sees it but you Loki.” 

“Father, I do not want this either.” Thor butted in. It was the truth. He knew of his brothers love for Kari, and hers for him; he had witnessed it bloom and flourish first hand. There was no good could come of this and Thor knew it. 

“You both need to cease shirking your responsibilities and step up to being the princes of the realm. Thor, you are soon to be king, which means you require a wife. One suited to the role and of good standing.” 

“She is a armourers daughter, that is hardly Queen material father.” Loki argued. 

“If she is good enough for you, she is good enough for your brother.” Odin countered. 

“Please father.” 

“ENOUGH!” Odin rose to his feet. “The girl is to marry Thor in the morning, and if either of you so much as utter another word on it, I shall banish you to some hovel of a realm until you learn to respect my authority and the girl will be used to broker peace with Jötunheim.” 

Even Frigga stared in open mouthed horror at her husband’s threat. She turned to her sons and pleaded silently for them to listen to their father. 

Loki stormed from the room, unable to control his anger, Thor followed swiftly after. “I am leaving.” 

“Loki?” 

“I cannot stand by and witness what I am being forced to.” Loki swung around to look at Thor. “I cannot stand in that room and watch as the woman I love marries my brother.” 

“I do not wish to marry her, I want nothing to do with any of this Loki.” Thor stated, trying to get Loki to see sense. 

“She…I-I love her so much Thor, and now, now I am being told that I cannot have her.” Loki’s vision was blurred as his eyes brimmed with tears. 

“I know you do Loki. I do. If there was anything I could do to stop it I would, I swear.” Thor's voice was small; he looked at his hands, not able to get his mind to think with the shock of everything that was happening. 

“I have to leave; I cannot possibly be expected to witness that.” 

“Where will you go?” 

“I neither know nor care.” Loki turned to leave. “Please Thor, look after her.” 

“Stay Loki, please.” Loki did not even acknowledge his brothers words as he went through the vast hallway. 

X X X X X 

Kari paced her rooms frantically. How could this be happening? What sick, twisted games were the Norn’s playing on her? And on Loki? She loved him, she adored him with all her being, and now, they were not to be able to have one another. All her happiness had been taken from her by one simple sentence. Odin, her king and Allfather, had sentenced her to a fate worst than death. To have to look at the man she loved every day, and not be able to be by his side. It was the most perverse of tortures. 

She had not been permitted to join Loki and Thor as they went to see what was happening with their parents; instead all she witnessed was Loki turning to her saying that he would see what was the reason for his father’s statement, with Thor agreeing with him as they rushed after their parents when they left the dining hall. Since then, she had heard nothing. Her handmaid had retired for the evening, having been dismissed by a very frantic Kari, not realising that the girl was acting as she was for reasons other than the usual nerves and anxiety a bride has the night before her wedding. 

Kari’s attention came to the beautiful dress that was ready for the morning, and she began to think of her previous excitement of thinking of Loki seeing her walking toward him in it, and what his reaction would be, of her dancing with him in it; and even dancing with Thor, who would most likely goof around and try and coax her into joking with him to make Loki jealous, she would oblige for a few minutes, before then walk over to her new husband and show him that he was the only one she cared for, that he was everything she would ever want. She swallowed hard as the tears finally overflowed from her eyes, falling so fast, they barely touched her cheek as they fell to the floor. Now her wedding day was to be a farce, the man she would walk toward, the one she would dance with, would not be the man she loved, she would have to look at him across the room, she did not know if she could bring herself to even look at him, her heart would break and she knew it. Slumping against the nearest wall, she fell to the floor and wept. 

Loki did not know where he would go, he just knew he had to leave, he could not watch Kari walk towards Thor, in the dress she was supposed to marry him in. He could not witness her standing by Thor's side, her hand on his arm, and he was no fool, in time the realm would want heirs, even the thought of… no he had to leave, and he had to do so immediately. He just had to tell her, she would understand surely. 

He walked to her rooms and knocked on the door, there was no answer, fearful she was not inside, he walked in. her living area was empty, there were different boxes and the like ready for the following morning, but it was deserted of any living being. He approached the door he knew led to her bed chambers, though he had never entered it, as it was highly improper to do such a thing before they were wed, but he did not care for propriety at that time, all he cared for was getting to see her one last time. 

Placing his hand on the door, he heard something from within and he felt even worse. To his relief, in their courting, even with their disastrous beginning, he had never heard her cry. The idea of Kari, his heart, his love, weeping crushed him. He opened the door and slowing walked in. she was slumped against a wall, her breathing shallow, telling him that she had been crying for some time. Without even thinking, he walked over and sat beside her, placing his arm around her. 

Kari looked up slightly startled, but on feeling the leather of Loki’s coat, she felt a little better, until she saw his face. One look told her everything she never wanted to know, there was no stopping the fact that she was marrying Thor. She wanted to cry again, but she was out of tears, instead, Loki began to cry, holding her in against him. “We could just leave.”

“He would have Heimdall find us. And the consequences when we would be found do not bear thinking about. It is safest for you to just do as he says.”

“I am not frightened to defy the Allfather.” 

“Kari, Kari my love, listen to me.” He made her look him in the eye, though it filled him with pride to see her so determined to defy Odin. “He will banish you to a fate worse than death. It is for the best.” 

“I can’t do it Loki.”

“You must my darling, for me.” 

Kari swallowed, her fight gone when she saw that Loki had lost his. “What are we going to do?” 

“You are going to marry Thor, and you are going to be fine. He will not harm you, you know that.” 

“And what about you?” 

“I am going to leave.” Loki raised his hand to silence her as Kari pulled herself to her knees beside him as she went to argue. “It will be easier on us both this way, you know it.” Kari shook her head violently side to side since her words were failing her. “I do not want to leave you my love, but I fear I must.” His own heartbreak blatant in his voice. 

Kari knew he would not be dissuaded. “I shall do as you ask.” It shattered her soul to say those words. “But on one condition.” 

“Anything my love.” 

“Kiss me.” She pleaded. 

Loki stroked her cheek with his thumb, drying the tears that shone against the lights of the room, her face was patchy from crying, and her eyes puffed, but she was still beautiful to him. He leant forward and placed his lips on hers, just one last time. 

No sooner had their lips met, and they clung to one another, as though their lives depended on it. Kari’s hands went to Loki’s hair, and Loki’s gripped her neck and lower back, forcing her to straddle him as the kiss deepened. Neither wished for it to ever stop, both wanting to hold onto the other just a little longer, before they would be forced to be parted for eternity. 

It was Loki who finally pulled away first, though he was extremely reluctant to do so. He was forced to because of the need to breathe and for that reason alone. Kari sat on his thighs, her lips reddened and her face flushed from the lack of air. “I am so sorry my darling, I failed you.” 

“No.” She leant forward and kissed him again. “You did not fail me my love.” Her words traced on his lips as she did not lean far back to speak. “You did not fail us.” She kissed him again. Loki immediately responded once more. “I love you.” 

“And I you.” His hand had unintentionally made its way to her ass, gripping the fleshy area tightly, causing her to moan into his lips.

Gasping for breath, she pulled back again. “Loki.” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Take me.” 

“I cannot, I can only hide myself from Heimdall.” 

“No, I mean…” She looked at him anxiously as she repeated the words. “Take me.” 

Loki’s eyes widened as he caught her meaning. “I cannot.” 

“Please, I want it to be you, I have waited so patiently for it to be, now that it has to be someone else…I need this Loki, please, don’t take this away from me.”

“I wish I could, I have dreamt of us together, more times than I should admit, but we cannot.” 

“Please Loki.” She grinded herself down on his legs. Instinctively Loki rose his hips up to increase their contact. “Take me, please.” 

Loki’s resolve dissipated. He knew it was wrong, she was to be Thor's, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He loved her, and by the God’s did he want her. He forced them to their feet and lifted her into his arms, taking her to her bed. Laying her on it, he crawled over her, and kissed her once again. 

Kari had no idea what came over her, she knew it was wrong to want such things, but she could not stop herself. She loved Loki, and wished to show him that even though they were being forced apart, he still had her. She pulled at his coat, which Loki used his seidr to remove, along with everything bar his pants. She pulled away from his kisses for a moment to look at his body. It was glorious, lean muscle covered by taunt skin; it sent a yearning through her body the likes she had never experienced before. 

Loki gave a small smile on seeing the lust on her face. “May I?” he indicated to the dress she was wearing. Though nervous, Kari nodded. With a wave of his hand, her dress disappeared, leaving her only in her undergarments. Loki’s eyes widened and an illicit moan escaped his lips. He knew from looking at her she was beautiful, but the Gods were to be praised for how she appeared without her clothes. His pants were too uncomfortable for him now, his body aching for him to remove them. Leaning down, he kissed her lips gently before kissing down her neck, across her collarbone and to her covered breasts. “My darling, you are too beautiful, have you ever been told that?” 

“No, but you are biased; not to mention you are also the only one to ever see me in such a manner.” She gasped, relishing the feel on his lips on her skin. 

“Well you are.” He slid the cup of her bra aside and gently licked the hardened nipple that he uncovered.

“Ah!” The sensation sent a shock of lust and ecstasy through Kari. 

“That’s it my darling, give into it. I promise this is only the beginning.” 

“Loki, please.” She fisted his long dark hair as he continued to swirl his tongue over it, while also using his fingers to play with its counterpart. 

Having ensured her breasts were well cared for, Loki mouth then trailed kisses down her torso and to the top of her underwear. He looked carefully at Kari for a moment to see if she still wished for him to continue, to which she answered his question with reverent nodding. So he pulled the offending clothing down and took a moment to relish the feminine scent that filled his nostrils. 

Kari was anxious and nervous at Loki’s face being so close to a part of her that she never thought a man would really want to be, but as he placed his lips on her, she gave a small cry. 

Sensing it was not one of pain, Loki gave more small kisses to her intimate area, loving that already her body was showing how greatly she yearned for him. He climbed up her body again and pressed his lips to hers hungrily. He smiled at the small frown on her face as she tasted herself. “You are exquisite in every manner my dove.” He gently slid his hand down her body, tickling her skin as it went, heightening her sense of touch. When he again came to her entrance, he slid a finger in gently, but this time Kari tried to pull away. “Does it hurt?” She nodded slightly. “I’m sorry. Do you wish for me to stop?” She shook her head. So instead, Loki used his thumb to find and circle the bundle of nerves over her entrance, which caused her to raise her hips in search of more friction. As he continued his ministrations, he slid his finger into her again, this time her even wetter channel accepting him more easily. 

As he watched her bite her bottom lip, Loki refused to believe there was any more beautiful sight in the world. Kari’s breaths were coming as gasps as her hands grasped the sheets so tight, her knuckles paled. He added a second finger carefully for fear of hurting her again, but there was little need to worry. In fact, he was almost certain she barely noticed, though her moans became louder. Loki relished in the noises she made as her voice betrayed her impending release, so he continued to caress her body inside and out until finally she called out his name and gasped, her body spasming around his fingers. 

His own arousal was painfully reminding him that his pants were not ones that left much room for such yearnings, so with his other hand, he ridded himself of the offending garment as Kari regulated her breathing once more. “I take it you enjoyed that?” He smiled wolfishly. 

She blushed as she nodded. “Yes.” She sighed, her tone blissful. 

“Care for a little more?” 

Her reply was her pulling his neck so that his face was to hers once more and she kissed him, the kiss was not as desperate as before, but still as lustful. “Please Loki, take me.” She repeated. 

Loki did not wait any longer, he ridded himself of his underpants, and lay over her as she spread her legs and wrapped her arms around his neck. Bearing his weight on one hand, he aligned himself with her core and gently pressed in. 

Kari had never experienced anything like what it felt to have herself and Loki bond in the most intimate fashion possible, it was exquisite and primal, and were any other to hear of it, apparently it would be wrong; but could not bring herself to care. As he thrusted his hips, she looked him in the eyes, their love for one another emanating through every part of their beings. Again her pleasure began to overtake her, the divine feeling of passion as her hips arched to meet his, the sound of their gasps, moans and skin meeting filled her chambers, she never wished to forget to sounds of that night as her body shook. 

Loki knew she was close, her body drawing him in as he continued to try to bring her the pleasure he felt she deserved. Tomorrow she would be Thor's and she would lay under the older Odinson as he did such things to her, but tonight she was his, she had wanted him, and he would ensure the first time she had a man it was to be of her choosing. She deserved it, his pace increased as he felt the heavenly sensation of his own release beginning to rumble in his lower abdomen. “Kari.” 

“I’m gonna....”

“I know my love. I want you to, I need you to.” He gasped as he continued to take her. 

“Please Loki.” Her voice desperate, she yearned for him as he did her. 

“Please what my darling?” 

“Finish in me.” 

He stared down at her, his movements nearly ceasing fully. “I…Kari, I cannot…” 

“Please, please don’t let him be the first to…to have me know only…” Her eyes had filled with tears again. “I am your in all ways but one Loki, you have marked my heart and my soul, please mark my body too.” 

Loki knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, but he didn’t care. Renewing his vigour, he kissed her passionately again. She was right, they had each other in every other way, and this was simply completing their love. He could not control the noises he made as her body clenched around his manhood, she felt amazing, as though she was made to fit him perfectly. “Fuck.” He could feel his end coming. 

Kari pulled his head down, their foreheads and noses touching, and looked straight into each others eyes. “Please Loki. So good.” 

“Kari…” He bit his lip; he had to stave off his own pleasure long enough for her to reach hers. But he had not to wait long, her name sung from his lips finished her, and as greatly as her body wished for her to, she did not close her eyes as she looked at him, her body erupting such pleasure, she temporarily forgot to breathe. 

Loki grunted as her body pulsed around him, unable to stave off his orgasm any longer, he erupted within deep within her, the words “I love you” whispering from his lips over and over with each spurt of his fluids into her body. 

Finally, their breathing returned to normal. As tiring as it was, Loki refused to remove himself from Kari’s body, leaning on his elbows; he remained above her for as long as he could. 

“What are we to do?” She asked her heartbreak now even worse. 

“You have to marry him.” 

“And you?” 

“I have to leave.”

“I don’t want you to.” 

“I know my dove, but I cannot love you so close, it will kill me. I can only love you from afar now.” 

“Don’t go.” 

“Shhh. Let us just rest for now.” As his spent length finally slipped from her body, he rolled over so to be by her side. Instinctively, she curled up against him; with her head on his chest and he placed his arm around her. “What are you doing?” 

“This way you can’t leave.” 

Loki took a deep breath and kissed her head. “I love you Kari, with all my heart.” 

“And I you.” She curled in to him more, her breathing becoming more and more even as she drifted off to sleep. “Please don’t leave me.” She pleaded sleepily. Loki kissed her head again as he waited for her to fall asleep fully. 

The next morning, the handmaid entered the room to see Kari sitting on her bed, her face solemn, and her eyes empty. In her hand she held a small note and the words ‘I’m so sorry my dove, I will love you for eternity’ written in beautiful writing. Kari refused to let go of it; and as her wedding dress was fitted into place, she took the note and placed it over her left breast, right over her heart.


	5. Unhappy Matrimony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari and Thor are forced to wed, neither too pleased at what needs to happen to officiate it.

Kari did not smile throughout the ceremony; she could not bring herself to. Instead she stared straight ahead, not even listening to Odin’s words. She had no idea of who was even present. The only being she sensed was Thor, who stood almost as still next to her. When the ceremony was completely she realised that Thor was looking down at her, she knew what was expected of her, and she loathed it. He leant down and ceased just as he come to her lips, “I’m sorry.” He whispered before pressing his against hers. They felt wrong, too big, and his facial hair made her wince slightly; it was wiry and harsh against her skin. When he pulled away the room erupted in cheers and the festivities began. 

No one seemed to notice Loki’s absence, except for his family. Odin had sent guards to speak with Heimdall to see where it was the prince had went, but the guardian did not know, Loki had made it so he would not be found. Frigga was heartbroken that her son was gone; she looked at Kari throughout the day wondering if the girl knew where he went. When she finally got a moment with her alone to ask her, Kari said nothing, she just stared ahead blankly, her eyes almost dead. Frigga apologised for what had happened, but all Kari did was nod once to acknowledge her words, nothing else. 

She did not eat, and when the chalices and tankards were raised to celebrate the royal couple, she brought the chalice to her lips, but did not wish to drink. When the festivities got into full swing however, she found her only solace was the chalice, which did not take long to take effect, having eaten nothing all day. Her mood lightened slightly, but only because she had drank so much. 

Thor too had wallowed in his tankard, but having actually eaten, he was not as worse for wear. He went over to her after some time to find her giggling at a shrimp. “Kari? Are you alright?”

“I am better than this poor guy apparently.” She held up the shrimp. “Whoever thought to actually cook these things? I mean, they are weird looking and have loads of little legs, who thought ‘you know what I think we should do, cook it and take off its shell and eat it.’ Or did they not realise the shell was hard at first and bite that, because then they were even more peculiar for wanting to try a second time.” She rambled, her words slightly slurred from the alcohol. 

Thor looked at her worriedly. “Kari have you eaten anything today?” 

Kari shook her head side to side very quickly. “Nope.” She responded, popping the ‘p’. 

“You need to sleep this off.” He went to take her arm but she pulled it from him.

“I need to be left alone.” She glared up at him. 

“I know you are angry, I am not too please either, but there is nothing we can do.” 

“He left.” She looked at the crustacean again. 

“I know.”

“I…I…” She swallowed, trying not to let the tears fall, sobering very quickly. “I need to go to bed.” 

“Okay.” Thor helped her to her feet. “Can you walk?”

“Yes, I was fortunate enough to figure it out as a young child.” She retorted, the bemused look on Thor's face made her smile for a moment. “Sorry.” 

“At least you smiled, I can take pride in that.”

“Aren’t you a great husband.” She looked at him sadly. “I think you are a wonderful person Thor, and I have little doubt that you would make most any woman delight in being your wife, I am sorry you are stuck with the one woman who would rather not be.” 

“And I am sorry it is I and not my brother that stood beside you today. I have looked forward to this day for so long, for both of you, but now, now it will be the day I lost my brother and crushed the heart of the woman he loves.” 

“None of this is your doing.” She looked over at Odin, who sat happily in his chair, talking to her father, both men laughing. “I know I should not say this, but I hate him.” 

“I would be concerned if you did not.” Thor admitted. “I am close to it myself. You best go to bed.” 

Kari nodded and headed from the hall quickly, not paying much regard to any as she passed through. 

Thor walked over to one of the servants and ordered he be brought another tankard, the servant nodded and swiftly ran off. He soon felt his father stare, so he turned and was unsurprised to see him looking over at him. Walking over, he took the tankard from the servant and sat next to his father. “Are you pleased now?”

“It is for the best.”

“You really think that? Look at the lives that have been ruined.”

“If Loki truly loves that girl he should want her to have the best possible life, what better life is there than Queen and Allmother?” 

“There is more to life than titles father. They love one another.” 

“Did they? Where is your brother today then? If he truly loved her he would have tried to bring her with him.” 

“You threatened to have her sent to Jötunheim, do you think him cruel enough to risk you being true to your word?” Thor growled. 

“I only said that to deter him, nothing more, obviously she would not be sent there, she is a small enough thing, carrying your children will be task enough for her, a Frost Giant’s offspring would kill her. Where is she?” The king looked around for his daughter in law. 

“She has retired for the night.” 

Odin stared at his son furiously. “Get after her this instant.” 

“Father I…”

“Are you forgetting what you are expected to do?” The confusion on Thor's face was his answer. “You are to consummate your marriage.” 

Thor froze, he had been so angered by the way the day had gone that he forgot one of the more important aspects of it. He shook his head slightly before he rose to his feet. “This is wrong.” 

“You would swear you were the first prince in history to not wish to be wed. Look at your mother and I, we met the day of our wedding.”

“Was she betrothed to your brother first? Did he own her heart?” 

“Loki is gone, she will soon realise she has been gifted the better brother and will be grateful to be your wife.” Odin dismissed. “If you do not find her to your liking, then just fill her with child tonight and not concern yourself with her again for some time.” 

Thor swallowed his anger and shot up from the table. His father’s words infuriated him, but he also knew what was expected of him. He barely heard the wolf whistles from his friends that sounded after him as he left the room. 

Kari swore to herself time and time again. All her belongings had been taken from her rooms and placed in Thor's. It was expected of her to sleep in the same bed as him; she also knew she was expected to lie with him in other manners. She really wished her conversation with him had not sobered her so greatly. 

She heard the door open behind her. Turning, she knew who it would be. “He did not take long to order you here too.” 

“No.” Thor's voice was sombre. “I don’t even know if I can do this.” 

“We must.” 

“How are you alright with this? This is surely the hardest part.”

“Actually it is the easiest. All I need to do is lie there. The most difficult part was declaring I love you and will never wish for another, when all I wish for is him.” 

Thor began to remove his armour. “This is not how I imagined my wedding night. I thought I would be thrilled at the idea of my wife and I…well you know.” 

“I am sorry. I have been wallowing in my own sorrow, when you too have been wronged. I always thought you would marry Lady Sif.” 

“Why has everyone always assumed that?” Thor asked. 

Kari shrugged. “You always were so close, and it is clear she has feelings for you. I think she is the only one as gutted as us at how all this went.” 

Thor tried to process what she had said as he removed more of his armour quietly. Seeing that he was having an issue with a gauntlet, Kari went to his assistance. “I hate this armour.” 

“Then why wear it? It cannot be comfortable to battle in.” 

“It is decorative armour, not fight armour.” 

“There’s a difference?” 

Thor chuckled. “Yes, practicality being the biggest part.” He explained as they finally got it off. “Thank you.” 

“Sure.” She gave a small smile and went back to get her nightdress before heading to the bathroom. She looked at the garment for a moment and threw it on the floor. It was the one she had worn the night before, the one Loki had removed from her body with seidr before ravishing her entirely. All day her core ached from the pleasure she had felt, it was the only pain she had felt from him that day that had felt good. Opening the bathroom door again she went to get another nightdress, but stopped suddenly. 

Thor was naked in front of the bed, staring back at her. He was the polar opposite to Loki in all ways, except for height. Where one was pale as the moon, hair like the nights sky, with lean muscles and eyes of emerald; the other was sun kissed, hair of the gold of the sun, eyes like a cloudless sky and bulging muscles. She would have thought no two brothers could ever be so opposite had she not seen it with her own eyes. 

“I brought the wrong one.” She tried to explain as she walked over to the wardrobe to get another nightdress. 

Thor simply nodded as he too looked over her form. She had taken off the dress before realising her error, so she was only in her undergarments. She thought since she was being forced to share a bed with Thor, he would see her in that state of undress at some time of another, so she had simply just got on with it and had not thought to cover herself when she re-entered the room. Looking at the material in her hands she wondered why she was even bothering. She threw it on the floor and just got into the bed beside him. 

The tension in the air was palpable, both knowing what needed to be done, but both terrified of being the one to initiate it. Still slightly tipsy from her overindulging, Kari turned to Thor and kissed him. It felt wrong, sordid. But she knew what had to happen so she just ignored the wrenching feeling in her gut. 

Thor kissed her back, allowing himself to forget who it was that was in the bed with him. His hand went into her hair, with was still partly tied up, he pulled a pin and it fell loose again. He let his hand slide down her barely clothed body as he deepened the kiss. The small moan she gave when he bit her lip reminded him who it was but he forced himself to continue, it was their duty, the realm required a consummated marriage, and yes, as his father stated, it also required an heir. 

Nothing of Thor's touch resembled his brothers. Loki’s fingers were slender, their touches soft. Thor's were far larger, and his touch far more rough. They were as opposite as the brothers themselves. Deciding it best to get it over with, Kari pulled on Thor's arm so to get him to lean over her. He looked down at her slightly shocked. “Are you sure?” 

“I just want to forget.” 

“I know Kari, I’m sorry.” 

“I want to forget him.” She continued. Thor frowned. “If I do, then maybe I can do this.” 

“You’re not going to Kari, you know that.” 

“Please, Thor.” She kissed him again, her heart aching as she did. Every kissed reminded her of Loki, because every kiss with him had a spark, an excitement she could not contain, and Thor's kisses lacked any lustre. 

Thor leant on one arm, bringing the other down so he could help at least have her comfortable as they coupled. He began to caress the nerves that were close to her core, looking at her as he did. She was incredibly beautiful, just as Loki had stated that first day they had met her, he had always acknowledged that. He felt her body react to him, and wondered if she in anyway found him as appealing. She loved Loki, she adored him, and the way he had seen her look at him suggested she also liked how he looked also, he and Loki looked nothing alike, so did she even find him attractive? He forced the thoughts from his mind concentrating instead on what he needed to do to prepare her. When he slid a finger in, she groaned slightly, but he continued as she did not give any indication to cease. He added a second and searched for her internal pleasure point.

Thor's fingers were far thicker than Loki’s, but he was able to make her body react to him. However her mind would not let her forget Loki and their passionate love making not twenty four hours before, how they had held onto one another, knowing it would be their last time together, and their first time being intimate. She felt guilty that she could not love Thor the way he deserved from a wife; he deserved one that would yearn for his touch, not one who could only compare it to that of his brother. 

When she had been readied, Thor leant over her fully again, looking straight into her eyes. “Tell me if I hurt you.” She nodded silently. “I really wish it was not this way Kari.” 

“I know.” She smiled sadly stroking his bearded face. “But it is, so we can only continue on.” 

It was Thor's turn to nod. Gently he pushed forward so that he was touching her core before slowing pushing in. He flinched as Kari grasped his biceps, her face showing her discomfort, but as she said nothing, he very slowly continued until he was fully seated within her. He ceased then, giving her time to adjust to him. 

She did not want to, but Kari was still comparing Thor to Loki, and she hated herself for it. He was doing everything to not try and hurt her and all she kept doing was thinking how he was not Loki, how Loki was not as thick, but had filled her more. It made her feel guilty. Looking up, she realised Thor was looking at her expectantly. “I said, are you alright?” He repeated in concern. Kari nodded, looking up at him, she slid her arms around his neck again and moved her hips slightly so to suggest for him to move. 

Slowly, Thor began to stir. It felt incredibly wonderful and wrong at the same time. He continued to increase the speed of his thrusts as he gave in to the pleasure he felt. He looked down at Kari’s breasts, still constricted by her bra, but still moving slightly with their movements. He grunted as her body reacted to his movements, her own gasps adding to his pleasure. 

Before long he gave over to his pleasure completely, forgetting that it was Loki’s love that lay beneath him, it was made easier as her legs intertwined with his and she thrusted up to meet his movements. “God’s!” He moaned as he felt his abdomen begin to clench. 

Kari also gave over to the pleasure, she knew if she did, she would, for those few moments, forget about Loki, forget about the large gaping hole in her heart from his departure. Thor's movements caused her body to react, she did not have to force it and for that she was grateful. Thor's sounds told her he was close, when he reached between them again to where they were joined and gently pinched the small bundle of nerves, her back arched and she fell apart violently around him, her mouth agape as she shuddered. She barely registered Thor's final few more aggressive thrusts that signalled he had completed also, his seed now filling her as his brother’s had the night before. With that thought, Kari found the sickening pang in her stomach grow worse. Has she just discarded everything she and Loki had had, or was she just doing as he had told her to and make best of her situation, she could not find the answer. 

She was so lost in thought she never realised she was playing Thor's hair until he began to pull out of her. “Sorry.” She pulled her hand back swiftly. 

“Do not apologise, that was actually quite nice.” He smiled, his breathe still not back fully. “I can fight for an age without losing my breath, but that winded me somewhat.” He commented. 

“Sorry.” 

Thor crashed onto the bed beside her. “Why are you apologising Kari? All you have done today is apologise.” 

“Sorry.” 

He raised a brow. “Get some rest.” He ordered. “You need to try and sleep off the last of that wine and your sorrow.” 

“It was mead actually.” 

“Oh dear, well at least your head will not ache so badly then.” 

“And what of you?”

“I fear that amount of ale will mean a tender stomach for me in the morn. Why do we do these abuses to ourselves?” He wondered. 

“To forget.” Kari whispered, but Thor heard her. Not entirely sure if it was the right thing to do, he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arm around her. Even though it was not the embrace she was looking for, Kari moved into it willingly, wanting to be held, needing to feel close to someone. 

As she slept Thor looked at his new wife beside him, if she had not been chosen for Loki first, he believed he could have been the one to have her love, she was beautiful, caring and kind, and he would have loved her as she deserved to be. Even in her sleep she frowned, her beautiful lips pouting as she did. He looked over her body as she curled into him, and it was then he noticed something inside her bra, a piece of paper. He gently slid it out and looked at it, he knew the writing to be Loki’s, and as soon as he read it he felt a twinge of guilt. She had held Loki’s parting words over her heart, so he placed it back there, and held her close to him again. If only they had been destined for one another from the start, then his brother would still be here, and none of them would be hurting and perhaps she would love him too.


	6. Newlywed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari and Thor are forced to be in each others company after the wedding.

Chapter 6

The day after their wedding Kari and Thor remained in their now shared chambers. Even though it consisted of a number of very spacious rooms, it felt as though they were on top of one another to the both of them. 

Neither of them spoke of the consummation, both knowing that had they been sober, they would not have been able to force themselves to attempt it. Kari had risen first and had put in one of her nightdresses before Thor had a chance to see her naked. He on the other hand, seemed to decide not to be so modest when he arose, though as it was to trundle to the bathroom groggily, she was unsure if he was even aware of her as he went. Thor was indeed a slight bit ill from his overconsumption of ale the day before and Kari found herself nursing an aching head. Frigga seemed to have predicted such ailments and had a maid arrive with the appropriate remedies. 

That afternoon they ate together in silence, Thor looking as Kari only played with the food on her plate. “You really should eat.” 

“I should.” She acknowledged, but only continued to toy with the food. 

“Kari please, I know you are unhappy, but making yourself ill will not better the situation.” Thor pleaded. 

“I know, but I cannot force myself to eat if I am in no way hungry. At present the idea of food to me is repulsive.” 

“It is in your mind. You ate nothing yesterday and it is passed noon today, so there is no way that you are not hungry.” He stated factually.

“Why do I remember a shrimp?” Kari asked, slightly worried. The latter part of the evening was a blur until she got to her rooms only to be told all her belongings were now in Thor's chambers, and then she sobered enough to recall, though that was the part of the evening she wished most to forget. 

Thor chuckled slightly. “Because you held one up and rambled to me for a few minutes about who ever thought for us to cook and eat them.” 

“Probably best I do not recall too much if that is some of the content of the evening.” Thor's laugh had her smiling for a few moments. Looking at the food in front of her again, she placed some on her fork, looking up, she saw Thor looking back at her hopefully before forcing herself to eat it. Her stomach quickly reminded her of just how hungry she was, but it also felt heavy with how much the past two days had destroyed her happiness.

“It will get better Kari.” Thor tried to reassure her. Kari did not share his enthusiasm.

The following day Kari woke again to being encased in Thor's strong arms, though this time they were clothed, having not done anything other than sleep the night before. Thor's body was however reacting to having something rubbing against it, and the ever common male issue of ‘morning wood’. She gently escaped his grasp before anything more could happen and got up to face the day. 

Newlyweds were supposed to remain in their quarters got a few days after the wedding so to celebrate it intimately, but neither Kari nor Thor pushed to do so again. Instead for the most part they simply sat in silence in different rooms. By the third day, Thor, who by nature was a highly social being was beginning to pace and fidget. Kari knew the reason for his torment and began to get incredibly guilt ridden. So she decided to forego her own misery for a small time. Thor had not pushed her to speak with him, or even for her to stay in his company so clearly he was making sacrifices for her, she could do the same for him. 

When she next heard him move around, she left the room she had been hiding in and went to the one that he had inhabited for the vast majority of their time, slightly surprised not to see him there though a moment later, she heard the sound of the lavatory so she sat and waited. 

When Thor came out of the bathroom, he stared at Kari who was sitting at the table they usually ate at, giving him a small smile. “Are you alright?”

“I saw this morning that you have a chess set here, do you play?” she asked. 

“Yes, we are taught it as part of battle training to learn strategy, why do you ask?” he looked at her, still unsure as to why she was in the room. 

“Could you…could you teach me? I have always wanted to learn.” 

Thor was utterly bewildered by her change in character, but desperate for company and interaction; he agreed willingly and got the chess set before sitting across from her. He watched as she took the different pieces and set them up correctly. “You already know how to plat.” He eyed her suspiciously. 

“No, I know how to set up the board. I know that this.” She held up on of the many small pieces. “Is a pawn. And that these.” She pointed to the two centre back pieces. “Are the king and queen, though I do not know which one is which, I do not know what the other pieces are called, nor do I know how any of them move.” She explained. 

Thor began by telling her the rules, the names and the way to make each piece move, then the began to play. It became very clear, very quickly to Thor, that Kari was telling the truth that she knew little of chess. But he remained patient, enjoying her frown and the manner in which she wrinkled her nose in thought, as well as her reactions to when he won within fifteen moves. 

“I’m terrible.” She conceded, throwing down her knight to her lap.

“You are new to it.” He smiled. “I have practised for many years.” 

“How many exactly?” She queried. 

“Couple of hundred.” Kari raised a brow. “Fine, seven.” 

“I actually don’t feel so bad now.” Thor laughed at her. “So other than chess and training, what else do you enjoy?” 

Thor's eyes lit up as he began to speak about different aspects of his life as Kari listened silently, only speaking again when she wished to hear more on a certain subject, but other than that she simply listened. Once or twice Thor's stories involved Loki, causing her to wince slightly, but overall, she was able to forget about the situation at hand. 

She had expected Thor to have some questions for her, but was surprised that for the most part, he knew most everything about her. “How do you know all of this? If I ever mentioned them, I did so for but a fleeting moment.” 

Thor shrugged. “I just listened.” Though he could not meet her eye. “I have always enjoyed what time you and I spent in each others company since your arrival to the palace, and I have had great time for the conversations we had also.”

Kari blushed at his admission. She did not realise she was drifting off to sleep until she felt Thor lift her and bring her to their bed, only taking off her shoes as he placed her in it. She kept her eyes closed, grateful to Thor for his kindness, but was shocked to hear him speak quietly. “Thank you for today Kari, I know it was hard for you. I hope you will learn to enjoy my company as I do yours.” He placed some of her hair off her face as he spoke. As sleep began to take her, she was not sure if she imagined it, but she was almost certain that she felt Thor press his lips gently to her hair as he too began to fall asleep.


	7. Does Time Heals All Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari and Thor become somewhat settled in their marriage, but as Thor's coronation is announced, Kari is forced to think of the future.

Chapter 7

‘Time heals all wounds’ Kari had heard that expression before. She wished to find the being that had said it and ring their neck. It does not get easier she maintained, it only makes you learn to tolerate them. 

She and Thor got into a routine; they ate their meals together everyday, and every other day their evenings would consist of them playing chess together and talking. At public events, they always remained close to one another and smiled. 

They became close as time continued to pass, learning how to read each others moods and how to rectify when the other was in foul humour. Thor took great pleasure in gifting Kari with trinkets and other tokens for no reason, and would beam brightly as she smiled in thanks every time. He noticed very quickly however that anything to do with art did not get used, her passion for the pastime destroyed since Loki had left. 

Any time Thor went to the Bifrost he asked Heimdall for Loki, but usually there was little to report, though every so often the younger prince would allow the guardian to see him but only for a fleeting moment, and never on the same realm twice consecutively, though none know of how he was able to go from one to the other or the realms without the use of the Bifrost. Thor usually did not tell Kari of Loki’s sighting, she had a tendency to go into a form of depression. So instead he would wait for her to ask, and over time she began to ask less and les, until she all but ceased asking at all. 

Kari had taken to walking the castle grounds most days going different directions and learning different routes. On days where the weather was less permitting, she would do something similar within the palace, enjoying the art around her. She avoided any halls that had pictures that depicted Loki in them. It was not that she wished to forget him, but she noticed the hurt looks from Thor, the pity filled ones from Frigga and the irritated looks from Odin when she reacted to any mention of him, so she wanted to ensure that that did not happen. When she knew no one was paying any heed to her, she would enter his old chambers, which the queen had ordered be kept as he had left them. It was in there that she kept her art work, the different pieces she had made for him. The painting she gave him that caused them to declare their love for one another hanging from his personal library wall. She looked at it, sometimes for a few hours at a time, and wished she was with him. 

It broke her heart that she could not be what Thor wanted. She realised not long after their wedding how he felt, the reason he knew so much about her. Part of her wanted to just give up on Loki and love him back, but she could not, Loki was the one she loved, she could not love another, could she?

One evening as she looked at the chessboard in front of them, she looked up to see Thor looking at her, the same adoring smile that he always had for her being donned on his bearded face. “You’re not telling me something.” She stated, sitting back in her chair. 

“How can you get that from me simply looking at you?” He asked, not denying her statement. 

“A century of marriage does that.” She smiled back. “So what is it? You usually give me some sort of a gift and walk off when you don’t want me to question.” Thor stared back at her with his mouth open, causing her to laugh. “What do I do when I am tired?”

“You twiddle your hair and if you are only in my company, you tend to slump.” 

“How do act when I do not like someone?”

“You hide in against my arm.” 

“You see, we have learnt one another. So you simply asking me how I knew rather than really diverting means you plan on telling me.” 

“I will never get away with anything with you will I?” 

“Probably not. So, what is it?” 

“Father is stepping down.” Kari’s jaw clenched, ever since the change in her marriage arrangement, she had little time for the king, and often would do everything she could to avoid him. “My coronation is to take place after the harvest.” 

“It appears we are in for a few busy months so.” She sighed. “Your mother will be in her element dictating to the realm how to best ready itself, I will be most occupied by that.” Thor shifted slightly. “What else has he said?” 

“Rambling on about different things, mostly about how I have to show that my reign will be a smooth transition and not to make the people be concerned.”

“More superb parenting from the great Odin.” Kari rolled her eyes. She rose to her feet and went over behind her husband, rubbing his shoulders. “You have been training for this all your life Thor, you will be fine.” 

“Kari…” He leant his head back enjoying the way she was massaging him. 

“I have known of the weak spot for a while now.” She grinned slyly. 

“If this is a torture; I think I may like it.” He chuckled back. When he looked up at her again, Kari was frowning slightly. “What is it?” He raised a hand to rub her cheek. 

“Just thinking.”

“Sounds dangerous.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s mature.” 

“We need to show the realm stability.” 

“Yes, how though?” Kari began to chew her lip. “What is it Kari?”

“An heir.” 

Thor leant forward, turning his body to face her. “Kari…” 

“Personally I would rather wait another century or so, but what better way to indicate stability under the rule of a new king than with the imminent arrival of an heir.” 

“Kari, if you rather wait, then we will wait. I do not want you to feel forced into this.” 

Kari stroked his bearded face. “You are the most patient and kindest man in all the realms.” She leant down and kissed him gently. Though he was unsure for a moment, Thor reciprocated quickly. 

Since their wedding, they had not been intimate; though on a few occasions, they almost were. As Thor deepened the kiss, he gently pulled Kari onto his lap. “We do not need to this my love.” 

Kari’s eyes shot open at Thor calling her such, she knew he always tried to not call her a pet name. She thought of what they were about to do, but she knew it was required. They had been avoiding it for a century, but every king required heirs, she knew this even before she had been forced to marry him. She remembered the pleading she had done to Loki the night before the wedding, for Thor not to be her first, wanting to rid herself of the memory, she looked into her husbands eyes. “Thor.” She pleaded desperately. Thankfully, Thor heard the desperation in a different manner, cradling the back of her head as he placed his other hand under her ass to lift her to their bed. 

Thor's hand slid up her leg, bringing her dress with it as he leant over her, kissing her as her arms remained around his neck. “Kari.” There was no denying the longing in his voice. Deciding it best to just allow herself to give into the pleasure as she had done before with him, she kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. He was a good husband who loved her dearly, she could do this for him, give him the child she knew he wanted. 

Thor ensured her comfort and pleasure throughout, relishing in finally being able to take pleasure in his wife again, hoping for her to have enjoyed it as he had. She had began to sleep with her head on his chest of late, which he adored; her head so close to his heart. He hoped that she was finally able to accept what had happened, and was beginning to enjoy her life with him. Stroking her hair as she slept, he looked at Kari, his eyes filled with the adoration he tried so hard not to force on her as she mourned her circumstances with Loki. He recalled her being able to tell his moods, she had clearly spent time paying close attention to him, which made him feel a small jump of delight within his stomach. It was her idea to try for a child, she had initiated it; she said she would rather have waited a little longer, which meant she had considered it to begin with. Looking down at her again, her face peaceful and no longer marred by the frown she once wore as she slept, he hoped that this would begin their marriage anew, as he had always hoped it could be.


	8. The Coronation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's coronation arrives, and Kari is still fretting as to not being with child. When the matter is brought up, she needs to get some air, but what does she discover?

Chapter 8

No child was conceived, from that night or any other that Kari and Thor lay together. After four months of no success, Kari went to Eir to see if there was any physical reason for her not being able to become with child, but the healer found nothing. “Your Highness, with all the stress of the upcoming coronation and the preparations and everything, you are overstressed, that is your reason for not having conceived, nothing else. You are still quite young, and in great health, as is Prince Thor, I have little doubt that when this is all done and dusted, I will be telling you to stop having so many children in such a short frame of time.” She smiled reassuringly. 

“If we are stressed at present, what makes you think life will be any less stressful after the coronation? Surely that is when we will be at our most stressed.” Kari argued. 

“True.” The healer acknowledged. “Then perhaps the Norn’s are giving you a sign. The last thing a new Allfather and Allmother need is for her to be on forced bed rest at risk of losing a child.” With that, Eir left Kari to her thoughts as she went to get something from another room. 

“I have one duty, one, and I am failing so miserably at it.” Kari murmured to herself. 

She shrieked in terror when Thor's strong arms wrapped around her. “Hey, hey Kari. It is only me.” He soothed. Shaking slightly, she looked around at him. “I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you.” 

“You didn’t.” Thor looked at his wife sceptically. “Well you did, only because I was in my own little world. 

“Well we all have a tendency to do such a thing from time to time.” He smiled down at her once she was breathing at a regular pace once more. “Why is it that you are here, are you unwell?” he smile fell from his face as he looked at his wife in concern.

“I simply wished to ask Eir something.” She jumped down from the healing table she had been sitting on. “Though I should ask you the same.” Thor raised his leg to show his wife the deep wound he had received to his thigh. “What in the realms?” She gasped. 

“Just a simple sparring incident. It just needs to be cleaned and a healing stone put to it. I will not be left without a limb.” Before he could say anything else, Kari was on her knees in front of him; removing the material on his leg that someone had placed there to stem the bleeding as he made his way to the healing rooms so that she may look at the wound. “See, it is not as deep as it could have been.” He smiled as she checked it carefully.

“It does not appear to have any dirt in it, but still, you were right to come to Eir.” 

“I knew I would have to face your ire were I to limp back to our chambers later.” Thor smiled knowingly, placing his hand on her cheek as he kissed her. “Is there another reason for you having come here today my love?” 

Kari’s stomach dropped. She still felt wrong for allowing herself into his touches, feeling as though it was mocking he love she had shared with Loki. His endearing words made her recall all those she had shared with his brother, and the hope in his voice as to why she was at the healers. She pulled back from him, her eyes filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around herself. 

Thor then realised the meaning of the words he had half heard her mumble when he entered. He watched as she stared at the floor, unable to look at him. “Kari…” 

“I’m sorry.” The tears came fast and heavy. “She said there’s no reason for me not to, but yet I cannot…” 

“Kari, my beautiful and sweet Kari. Please, stop crying.” She did not fight him as he brought her to his chest, it was the first time he had seen her cry, and it scared him. “We have not been trying for very long; these things can take some time.” 

“But you were so hopeful.” She wept. 

Thor felt guilty for having tried to broach the subject with her. “I am hopeful that we will have a child, but you are too to say that you are so upset, that is natural. But do not let that pressure you Kari, I am hopeful, but I do not want a child at the cost of your happiness.” He stroked her hair. “If you’d rather, we can leave it until after the coronation.” 

Thor did everything in his power to keep his voice neutral, but Kari could hear the hint of disappointment in it. “No.” She shook her head, causing Thor to look down at her. “We will just see what happens naturally, no pressure, no trying per se, just whatever happens happens.” She looked back at him, staring into his blue eyes.

“That sounds like a good idea.” He grinned back. 

The more Thor behaved the supportive loving husband, the worse Kari felt. She knew she loved him, there was little denying that, but not with all of her heart. She would never love him with the intensity that he loved her, no matter how she tried. There was never a chance that she could love him as she did Loki.

The day of the coronation arrived, and even though both Kari and Thor agreed not to take too much stock in it, she had not become pregnant, making Kari feel utterly useless.

The whole realm was a din with excitement, eagerly waiting the crowning of the new king and his queen. Some may have uttered as to why after a century of marriage, there was still no heir, but most everyone assumed, given their own youthful age, there would be a child in the near future for their new monarchs.

Kari assisted Thor in putting on his armour before the ceremony. She laughed slightly as she assisted him once more with his gauntlets. “Your forearms have grown I see.” 

“Indeed, it seems that they have.” He noted. “That means they will be even more difficult to take off later.” He grimaced slightly as Kari pushed hard to get it further up his arm. 

“We’ll manage.” 

“You look so beautiful Kari.” Thor smiled affectionately. 

“And you look very handsome.” 

Thor walked over to his side of the bed and retrieved something from a drawer. “I hope you don’t mind me giving you this.” He walked back to her and held out a fairly large flat box. “I had it made for today.”

“Thor, there was no need…” 

“No, there was not, but I wished to.” She silenced as Thor opened to box to show her its contents. 

“Thor, I…it is beautiful.” Kari looked at the ruby and diamond choker. “It is in your colour.” She smiled. 

“Our colour.” Thor corrected, taking the choker out of the box and walking behind her to place it on her neck. 

Kari grimaced slightly. Blue was always her favourite colour, followed closely by emerald green, a colour she often donned still, even after all the time since his departure. Red was never a colour that she had much interest in; she was only wearing it as it was Thor's colour, and today was his big day. She looked down at the heavy necklace after Thor put it on. 

He circled her and looked at her again. “My love, you look every bit the queen you are.” 

“You are getting ahead of yourself Thor, the coronation has yet to happen.” She laughed. 

“It is only a matter of minutes before we have to leave to head to the throne room, so within the hour, you will be queen.” Kari shifted nervously. “What is it my love?” 

“I am worried.”

“With regards to what?” he came to her, placing his hands gently on her arms. 

“That I will mess up somehow, and ruin your big day.” 

“You keep speaking as though this all is only in reference to me Kari. You are to be queen, meaning it is your coronation also.” He stated. “And when this is done, we can put all our attentions onto…” He placed his hand carefully to her stomach. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Kari, I am getting very tired of telling you, this is not your doing. Eir stated that you are healthy and very much able to bear child. It is just the stress of the passed few months that have impeded us. She said the same to me.” Kari stared at him. “Yes, I checked with her also, in case I was at fault, but no, neither of us is, so fear not. If you are still not with child after the initial settling in of our reign, you and I will go away for a month, and that will surely assist.” He beamed as he leant down and kissed her. 

Kari allowed herself to kiss him back with as much passion as she could muster, allowing herself to get lost in it. Today they would be crowned, she had to accept it. Thor loved her, he was kind and caring, and she knew it would all be so much easier if she just returned it. Accepting that her inner voice was right, she placed her arms around his neck and kissed. 

A knock on the door brought their attention back to the matter at hand, both finally pulled back, panting slightly. The look on Thor's face told Kari that he realised there was something different in her kiss that time. “We best not be late.” She stated breathlessly. She turned around to head to the door, Thor still looking at her slightly confused. “Thor?” 

“Right, late, yeah.” He shook his head slightly and walked out behind her. 

The ceremony was short and simple. At the end, Odin gave over Gungnir, and by extension, his reign to Thor. There were loud cheers around the hall, the now Dowager smiling next to her husband as her son and his wife stood in front of the realm, who happily embraced their new monarchs. 

After the coronation came a feast to celebrate the momentous occasion. Thor was surrounded by his wife and friends, all of whom seemed happy at how the day had gone. “I hope this means that the next item on the agenda for you my friend is to give Volstagg’s and Hogun’s children some friends to play with.” Fandral smiled as they ate. Immediately both Kari and Thor tensed, both becoming very interested in the food on their plates, something not missed by the warriors, or indeed, Odin and Frigga. 

Kari rose from the table suddenly. “Excuse me a moment.” She walked off before any could follow her. 

Fandral looked to Thor. “I have no idea what it is in that statement that has caused such a reaction, but I sincerely apologise.” 

“Do not worry yourself Fandral, of late Kari has been feeling pressured with regard her own expectations of herself on that matter.” 

“And in doing so have prevented its occurrence.” Hogun added. “That is something all too common.” 

“Indeed.” Volstagg agreed. Thor frowned at his friends. “What? You think you and your wife are the only married couple to ever have wanted a child and for it not to happen immediately?” The burly warrior chuckled. “It is not a very exclusive club, I am sorry to tell you.” 

“She would be glad to hear that. Well not glad, but she would take some solace in knowing her worries are more common than she thinks.” Thor smiled sadly, looking to where Kari had left. 

Taking the time to right herself, Kari prepared to go back inside. She knew someone would bring up the issue of a child, but the manner in which Fandral mentioned it took her by surprise. She had not thought of it like that. Thor's friends’ children being friends with his, but of course, that would be how they would think. It was a nice image, parents and children friends with one another. Kari forced herself to think of what Thor had said before they left their rooms, they would have their child, there was nothing wrong with her, and all she had to do was cease worrying about it. With one last deep breath, she prepared to re-enter the hall. 

A hooded figure walking down the hallway caught her attention. She looked to see them headed for the main hallway that exited the great palace, which was noteworthy as no one would leave until at least the food ended. The manner in which the stranger walked caught her attention also; it was almost a strut, one she had seen many a time before. 

Running down the hallway, the stranger did not look back; she was still over thirty feet away when they reached the door. “So that is it. You come back and watch for a few moments and just leave again? Without saying a word.” 

“You knew?” The hooded figure turned, their face still covered. 

“The moment I saw you, my entire being knew.” 

The stranger pulled back his hood. “I never would have thought it so if I had not seen it with my own eyes, but you look even more ravishing than I remember, my dove.” He smiled, looking down at her. 

Looking at Loki, standing in front of her again, his love for her still blatant on his features, she knew she was a fool to think she could ever love another.


	9. Loki's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki arrives back and he and Kari speak, but can they resolve their issues.

Chapter 9

 

“Kari.” Her name sounded like a hymn on his lips after so long. He looked over her; she had not changed, yet looked entirely different all at once. He grimaced as his looked at Thor's red draped all over her and the large choker, which declared to all who she was wed to. “I should not have come.” He sighed, realising the torture seeing her again was. 

“You should never have left.” Her eyes were glazed over as she looked at him. “You left me here, to suffer alone.” 

“I suffered too.” 

“Did you have to stand every day beside another, forced to pretend to both the realm and yourself that you were happy? Did you even think of me once in a century? One hundred years Loki, I have suffered here, smothering in this world, while you got to run, you were not forced to suffer as I have suffered.” 

“I suffered!” Loki snarled. “Do you think I rested easy the night that was supposed to be our wedding night, knowing that you were here, under him, being filled by him? That over the time since I left it was only a matter of time before you carried his child. And to see you there, standing by his side, sitting with him, you think that was easy for me. The way he looks at you, it’s clear for all to see, he loves you, I always knew he did, but he never was man enough to admit it; and the way you looked back, you have not missed me, you were too busy loving him.” 

“I do not love him.” Kari startled herself with the declaration. Loki stood staring at her. “I do love him.” She was forced to acknowledge. “But not like that. Not as I love you.” 

“Words.” Loki spat. “Nothing more.” 

“If I truly loved him, why am I here declaring I still love you and not back with him, by his side?” Loki could not answer. “I love you still Loki.” 

“You are his now.” 

“I am not an object, I am a living being. I am no ones but my own.” 

“You are his wife.” 

“And? That does not mean I am his.”

“You cannot love another while…” 

“Bullshit Loki, I loved you from near the start. Yes we had a terrible beginning to our courtship, but that was due to you being a pigheaded ass, the same as you are being right now. Accept it. I love you, Thor was always going to be second to you, and I can assure you, he is nowhere near you in my eyes.” 

“It was a horrific beginning to our courtship in all fairness.” Loki chuckled, recalling that first time you met on the terrace. 

Kari could not help but laugh either. “You were so up your own ass.”

“And you so rude.” 

“Calling you up on your behaviour was not being ride.” 

“I beg to differ.” Loki smiled. He took a few steps forward so that he was standing in front of Kari. “My beautiful dove, I thought leaving for some time would mean we could grow apart, that we could some day be near one another and not feel as we did.” 

“It is not possible is it?” 

“I do not think it so.” Loki extended his hand and placed a stray section of hair behind her ear again. 

“What are we to do?” As Loki brought his hand to her cheek, she leant into it. “I cannot bear you leaving again.” 

“I do not think I can make myself leave.” Loki smiled sadly. “But I cannot love you as I wish to, and from so close is only torture.” 

“I know.” Kari’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Do not weep my darling.” He used his thumb to wipe away a tear that fell. “I cannot bear it.” 

“Please, Loki, please don’t leave me again.” She held onto the cloak that he donned, fearing he would be an illusion if she left go. 

“What can we do?” His voice seemed lost. He looked down to see Kari staring into his eyes, her own filled with pleading. “Kari?”

Before he could say anymore, Kari pulled him down so that his lips connected with hers. The spark she always knew was lacking from her kisses with Thor, ignited immediately again with Loki. Even after a century of Thor's lips, which always felt wrong, the thin line of Loki’s still felt right. It only took a moment for Loki to reciprocate, his hands making their way to the base of her back and the back of her head as they always had. “Please Loki.” She pleaded as she pulled back. “I beg you, don’t leave me again. If you do, I fear I will not know happiness ever again.” 

“I cannot neglect the world of such a gift as you smile.” He grinned. “But how can we have one another?” 

“We will find a way.” 

“What of him?” Loki could not bring himself to say Thor's name, his anger at his brother’s now blatant love for Kari was too raw. 

“We will find a way.” Kari repeated, kissing him again. “We cannot remain here, we will be seen.”

Loki and Kari began to walk towards the private quarters. “Should you not go back to your husband?” Kari glared at him. “I am sure you are expected there.”

“I will return when I see fit, but for now I want to spend as much time as possible away from there as is possible.” 

“What was said?” She looked to Loki. “You seem to be very much avoiding something. Since you knew the warrior’s and Sif for so long it is not them you must be avoiding, but something said by them.” 

“Fandral asked when Thor and I plan on having children.” Loki stumbled slightly at that particular revelation. “I do not wish to discuss that topic.” 

“It was always something you knew would be expected.” He clenched his teeth and jaw as he spoke. 

“I don’t wish to discuss it.” Kari lengthened her strides to try and walk ahead of him. 

“Kari.” He reached for her arm, but the way she looked at him when she turned to face him again left him silent. The heartache on her face told him not to press the matter further, and he elected not to. “You still need to head back.” 

“I will do as I see fit have you not heard; I am the Allmother now.” 

“I know.” He smiled sadly. “I wish you were not though.” 

“I wish I was the wife of the second prince, and who knows, perhaps I would even be mother to your child.”

“Don’t.” Loki bit back his own tears. “I cannot bear to think such a thing at present.” 

“That bastard ruined all our lives. Yours, mine, Hel, even Thor's.” 

“How has it ruined his, he seems as happy as a pig in mud.”

“Because he loves a woman that cannot love him.” 

“This is insane Kari.” 

“Then walk away.” He remained standing in beside her. “That is what I thought.” She turned and walked towards his rooms. 

“You sleep with him I assume?”

“I have to, I’m his wife, remember.” There was pain in her words. 

“I am not sure how we are to do this.” 

“Tonight, you will stay in your quarters, in the morning; you walk in for breakfast like you own the place, as you always have. Thor has missed you, he will be glad of your return, you mother has aged endlessly since your departure, and Odin, well hopefully your homecoming will give the old fool such a shock he will go into Odinsleep.” 

“There is viciousness in you that was not there before.” Loki commented, grinning slyly. “It is very appealing.” 

“I hate that man with all of my being, he did this to us.” 

“Kari.” Loki’s eyes were as filled with longing as his words. Inside his chambers, away from any chance of prying eyes, Kari attacked his lips with feral passion, tearing at the cloak around him before attempting to get at his clothes beneath. “No.” He warned pulling her from him. “He will go in search of you.” 

“And you think him likely to search here?” She asked sceptically. 

“When he finds you, I do not wish for him to notice you dishevelled and such, he may act witless, but he is not as stupid as I have accused him of being in the past. And if I turn up at breakfast tomorrow, he will quickly put two and two together.” Loki argued. Kari reluctantly pulled back. She knew he was right, she was letting her emotions and lust get the better of her. “Go my dove. And I shall see you in the morning.” He kissed her gently on the bridge of her nose, something he used do to reassure her constantly, something she adored. 

“Promise.” 

“I swear it.” Taking her hand, he brushed it to his lips. “Until the morn my darling.” 

“Until then my love.” 

Kari walked to her and Thor's rooms, her head swirling with all that had happened. Just that afternoon, she had accepted she would have to embrace Thor as her husband fully, to love him as she knew he loved her, and she had planned to, but on seeing Loki, she knew it was hopeless, he had her heart, even after a century, he held it still. She was conflicted. If he were to stay, she knew there was no good could come of it, but she could not have him leave either. It really was a case of no winning as far as she could see. 

She began to take off the necklace that Thor had given her. Loki glare at it confirmed what she herself was thinking, it was like a big collar, claiming her as Thor's, the piece itself was beautiful, but she despised it. Everything about it was not her, loud, big, and red, she preferred smaller trinkets, and the worst part was Thor knew that. 

Kari was so preoccupied with the necklace she failed to see the door open. “There you are.” She jumped out of the seat and to her feet, turning to see a just as startled Thor staring back at her. 

“Thor, you scared the daylights out of me.” She scolded. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No it is I that should apologise, I should not get angry at you over my not paying any attention.”

“You never came back to the hall.” 

“I felt unwell.” 

“Kari?” 

“I was not expecting anyone to broach the topic in that manner. I knew someone would say something, but not like that, it makes it all the harder.” 

“Kari.” Thor came to her and pulled her in close. “There is no reason for you to feel bad. It actually caused Hogun and Volstagg to admit they had similar issues with their wives at the beginning.” 

“Volstagg, had issues, with getting his wife to bear child?” Kari stared at Thor in disbelief. “They have eight children under five hundred.” 

“Exactly, that is why we need not fret.” He leant in and kissed her. Kari wanted to pull away, but knew better than to. “My love, the way you kissed me earlier.” 

“I got a little carried away didn’t I?” 

“It has had me yearning for you all day.” Thor took the bodice of the dress she was wearing, and with his considerable strength, tore it down the centre. He bit gently on her lip as one of his hands began to make its way down her body, and the other one untied his pants as he prepared her. It was the first time that Kari had to force her pleasure with Thor, knowing that if she were to not want to copulate, then for Loki to turn up, he would wonder. When he was finished, Thor pulled her to his side, their torn clothes and some of his armour still on. “Wait and see my love, soon we will be as lucky as Volstagg with our brood.” The idea made Kari feel queasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just a small note because people get very touched by this subject. I do not ever condone cheating, seriously don't do it. If you feel the need to cheat, analyse why and think of the relationship and how it stands, because there is no reason to cheat, if you are unhappy, fix it or leave. There is nothing worse than the feeling of being cheated on seriously!


	10. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari cannot sleep thinking of Loki's return.

Chapter 10

Kari did not sleep that night, she tossed and turned throughout. Thor woke several times to feel her squirming in the bed next to him. “My love, are you unwell?” 

“I cannot rest.”

“I gathered.” He replied wearily. 

“I should just get up and do something for a while.” 

“It is the middle of the night.” Thor sat up to look at his wife. “Kari, what is wrong?” The frown he long associated with her turmoil was back present on her face once more. 

“I just cannot rest, I wish I knew why.” It was true, she was tired, she wanted to sleep, she wanted to be ready for whatever the morning brought. No sooner had she got up and left the bed, she began to pace. “This is insane, I just wish to sleep.” Thor went to get up. “Go back to sleep, no point in us both being up.” 

“If you cannot rest, how can you expect me to?” 

“Because we are not both in need of remaining awake. Tomorrow is your first day as king, you need to be ready for it.” 

“As do you my queen.” Thor countered. “You are required by my side, how can you do so if you are restless? Maybe it is the enormity of how our lives have changed that is the reason for your insomnia. Perhaps Eir was right with regards you not being with child now.” Kari stared at him. “You being this stressed would not have been good for you.” 

Thor's words on becoming with child sent a shiver up Kari’s spine, she did not wish to bring a child into this, and were she to become pregnant, would Loki stay? He had already stated the idea of that angered and repulsed him, Thor's child growing in her. “Perhaps.” She looked down at the torn dress that she was still wearing. “It never stood a chance really.” She smirked.

Thor chuckled. “My shirt is little better.” He got out of the bed and walked over to her. “Kari.” She looked up and was slightly shocked when he pressed his lips to hers, gently licking at them to allow him to deepen it. It felt wrong, but she knew she had to pretend to be pleased about it. “My beautiful Kari.” His lips left hers and make their way down her neck. She was shocked that he would be acting in such a manner, having already taken her already once that night. “I’m sorry my love, but seeing you so stressed and in ragged clothes, I fear I cannot control myself.” He explained as though sensing her bewilderment. He brought her back to bed, and did everything he could to ravish her. Soon he fell back to sleep, his arm draped over Kari, who simply stared at the ceiling more awake than ever. 

Lifting his arm up gently, she slid out and went to the room she usually read in just off their bed chambers. She went to the window and lifted the cushioned part of the window seat. Underneath lay all of her art materials she had long left discarded, she reached for the plain wooden box and pulled it out, blowing the dust off it, and then she got some pages. 

In the dim lit room, for the first time in over a century, Kari felt the urge to create something. When her and Thor's chamber staff entered the next morning, they were startled to see the new Queen and Allmother, sitting under the window, on her knees on the floor, in a torn dress that did not even cover her breasts any longer, her hair tossed and clumped together, and her skin marred in black smudges from her charcoals. They stood staring at her as she ignored them all, instead staring at the page in front of her. 

Thor exited the bedchamber, having woken to no sign of his wife, the sheets and mattress telling him that her warmth had not graced them in some time. He looked at his staff, and then to what they were looking at. He too stared at Kari as she used her forearm to wipe away hair that was tickling her cheek, smudging more charcoal across it. Turning back to his staff, he realised some had noted that he too was wearing some of his attire from the night before, and it too was in a similar state to the queen’s clothing. “Go about your chores.” He ordered, with a nod, they obeyed. “Kari?”

“Just a minute.” 

“Kari, you’re drawing.” 

“I don’t know if it is called drawing exactly, more smudging.” It was clear she was not paying full attention to him.

“More on yourself than the paper too I see.” Thor smiled kindly looking at his wife. “Yggdrasil?” She nodded. “This is the first thing you have drawn that I have seen.” 

Kari froze. “I don’t like people seeing my drawings.” 

“Why not? You are incredibly talented. Is this the first time you have drawn in a while?” 

They both knew what he was avoiding saying; she had not drawn in the entire time of their marriage. Kari nodded. She looked up at Thor timidly. “I could not sleep, it just kept eating at me.” 

“What did?” He asked kindly, kneeling down to her.

“Just this itch I used get, when something came to me. It doesn’t stop until I…”

“You have the urge to draw again?” Kari nodded. “This is wonderful my love, you should embrace it.” He smiled widely. 

Kari returned the gesture as best she could, wondering how he would take it when Loki arrived later, would her restlessness and her drawing draw suspicion on her knowing. She leant forward and kissed him, not wanting him to suspect anything. When she pulled back she giggled. “You have some, um…” 

“If I am covered in charcoal, then it is only because you too are doused in it.” Thor grinned. 

Kari looked at her arms. “I have a tendency to get a bit over focused I’m afraid.” She looked at her torn dress. “At least I do not need to worry of it ruining my dress.” 

“I think you being so covered in the blasted stuff is the only reason my servants have not seen you in all your beauty.” Thor chuckled as Kari realised what that meant. “Yes, our staff have seen you as good as half naked.” 

“I never noticed.” Thor chuckled again. “You should be angry.”

He frowned. “Why ever so?”

“I am after exposing myself to the staff.” 

“Well I am sure your maids know what you look like naked, and my servants, well they have been with us for the past hundred years, I am certain in that time they may have caught glimpses of you accidentally, and if not, well now they know how beautiful you are.” He smiled again. “You said yourself, you did not notice, you are not deliberately going around the palace stark naked trying to embarrass us. Besides, I am to blame for the dress.” 

“Why do you have to be like this?”

“Like what?” 

“So kind, so understanding.” 

“I love you.” He shrugged. Kari’s stomach sank, Thor was making something difficult all the more so, and she hated how she was hurting him. “We best get dressed.” 

“I think you mean undressed, then dressed again.”

“And you very much need a wash.” Thor commented. “I mean with the charcoal and everything.” 

“Nice save. You need a wash also, but not because of the charcoal.” Kari commented, making Thor chuckle. 

“Come so, let us ready for our day, my queen.” 

Kari said nothing as they readied themselves for the day. Thor picked up her work of Yggdrasil and placed it on the table with the maps of the realms before he walked over to her, extending his arm so that they could walk down the hallways together. 

Sitting to their breakfast, every last noise made Kari’s eyes dart around the room. Thor and Odin were deep in talk of the first day that Thor would be sitting on the throne, dealing with the realm. Frigga looked at Kari, noting her anxiety. “You will do fine my dear.” Kari looked up and gave a small smile. “You have not rested well have you?” Frigga looked at her pitifully. 

“She has not slept at all.” Thor informed his mother. 

“I actually just have the urge to sketch. It somewhat takes over when I least expect it, so I just found myself doing that for the most part of the night.” Kari explained. 

“Well at least that is something constructive.” Frigga smiled. “I can be the same when it comes to finding a way to get flowers from other realms to flourish here. It used drive Odin mad; me getting up at all hours reading another book on Midgardian climates.” 

“Why do you think I got my own sleeping quarters?” Her husband commented gruffly. “Although, you had the good grace to wait until after Thor was born.” 

Kari glared hatefully at her father-in-law. “Father, enough!” Thor stated firmly. “Kari is not long after celebrating her millennial names’ day, for goodness sake there is plenty of time for such things in the future.”

“She is queen now.” 

“Yes, and as I have stated to you, we will deal with the issue of an heir when we are ready.” Thor thumped his fist on the table. “So when I say enough father, I mean enough.” Odin glowered at Thor angrily, but thankfully said no more on the subject.

“I think we had best get a move to the throne room, this will be a long day I suspect.” Frigga suggested, trying to break the awkward staring competition between her husband and son. 

“Indeed.” Odin conceded, rising from the table. 

Thor rose next, helping his mother and wife out of their chairs. “Thank you.” She mouthed to her husband. 

“He had no right.”

They said no more as they made their way to the throne room. There was a loud cheer from the people of Asgard as Thor sat on the throne. Kari stood to the side, looking calmly over the people of the realm, wondering to herself where Loki could be. 

“People of Asgard.” Thor beamed widely. “I guess we really should get on with what matters need to be addressed here today.” And so he did. It was boring and mundane for the most part, but Thor and Kari had been prepared for that. Frigga remained standing by their sides to give her support as every last matter was dealt with, while Odin sat nearby listening to Thor's judgements critically.

“I think that is everything.” Thor smiled as the last person was satisfied with the king’s assistance. He turned to Frigga, Odin and Kari. “That was not a bad first day.” 

“Indeed, I have to say, you did a stupendous job. How much of the last century have you spent practising keeping you temper?” The royal family stared at the guard who walked forward so. 

“How dare you speak in such a manner.” Thor rose to his feet. 

“Ah there it is.” The guard smirked. “I thought you a changed man brother.” Thor's face paled, Frigga gasped and Odin took a step back. With a flash of green, the guard altered to Loki’s appearance “Miss me?” The smirk turned to a sly grin.


	11. Frustration and Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has returned from his self enforced exile, what will it mean for the family, and most importantly, what will it mean for Kari?

Chapter 11

“Loki.” Frigga declared, running forward and embracing her son. 

“Brother.” Thor barked a loud, but genuine laugh. 

Odin remained silent, watching Loki, and Kari sighed in relief that he had stayed as he promised to. She smiled slightly as she too walked forward after Thor to Loki. 

“Mother please, are you attempting to choke me? Is my return such a burden to you?” Loki joked as he gently tried to pry Frigga back from him. 

“I was so worried for you.” She was crying as she checked him over. “You have lost weight.” 

“I am fine.” He rolled his eyes but smiled at her. When Thor came close to him however, the smile fell. “Allfather.” There was a slight mocking in his voice, something not missed by Thor. 

“Loki, thank the Norn’s you have returned finally.”

“Yes, well I heard the day arrived for you to take the helm so I thought it best to return, at least this way when the shit hits the wall, I can know which direction to run.” Loki smiled sarcastically. “Father, you look like Hela is about to pay you a visit.” 

“I think her male counterpart just has.” The old man grumbled.

Loki retorted with a false smile. When finally his gaze fell on Kari, the sadness in his features was blatantly clear. “My queen.” He gave a small bow of his head. 

Thor shifted uncomfortably as his brother and wife shared a momentary stare. “Loki, you must be hungry, join us for dinner, tell us of all you have seen.” 

Loki took a final moment to look at Kari before turning to Thor and giving him a dismissive glance. “Well, I am somewhat peckish.” He gave a toothy grin. “Shall we?” He took his mothers arm and walked out the door with her before anyone else could say anything. 

Kari fell into step with Thor, who seemed somewhat bothered. “He seems at odd with me.” Thor was somewhat upset. 

“You knew if he ever returned, it would not be good at the start. You are king now, remember.” Kari kept looking forward as she spoke. 

“But still…and what of you?” 

“What of me?” She turned to look at Thor, her features expressionless, but inside she was terrified he would see through her. 

“How are you with this?” 

“My opinions on this do not matter. He has returned, he was never banished, he chose to leave, so in that respect, it was up to him as to when he would return, and he has chosen now.” 

“I do not know what to think.” Thor admitted. 

“Nor I.” Kari admitted.

“Kari?” She looked up at her husband. “I…is there…Are you alright with this?” 

“Does it matter? Be the one to tell him he is no longer welcome home because you are not comfortable with him reminded us all how this was never the original design.” They spoke no more of it after that. 

Throughout the meal, Loki spoke mostly with Frigga, only speaking with Thor when he asked him something directly, and smiling tauntingly at Odin, but glancing at Kari also, who never actually spoke directly with him. 

“Are you planning on staying long?” Odin demanded more than queried. 

“I was under the impression this was my home was it not?”

“Of course it is Loki.” Frigga smiled at her younger son before rounding on her husband. 

“Then I would like to think I have returned for good.”

“So after your little sabbatical, what, you thought to simply arrive back and carry on where you left off?” 

“Well you left me with little choice old man, I was being forced into a position where you pitted Thor and I against one another in a cruel fate and I knew for all involved it would be best that I leave for some time. And going by the manner in which Thor is defensively all but pissing on his wife to claim her, I think my actions to have been the correct ones, don’t you?” Loki snarled through gritted teeth. 

“I am not…” Thor silenced with the look Loki gave him. Though Loki held the name of the God of Lies, his gift lay in being able to call out the lies in others, not simply in shrouding himself in his own. 

“I came back because a century is long enough to be without my home. I expect Thor won’t mind now that his coronation is over if mother were to assist me in finding another wife, since as you are no longer king Father, you can’t pawn her off to someone else the nigh before. At least I have no other brothers for you to do that with anyway.” 

“Loki!” Thor warned. 

“Though I have to say it is all so interesting to see how things have panned out. Thor, you hid your feelings so well, can I ask did you conspire with father to take Kari from me, or was that simply happy coincidence, I am curious to know?” 

“I never wanted what happened to happen Loki, and well you know.” Thor clenched his fists angrily. 

“So it all just so happened to all come up smelling of roses for you, well Thor, you are to be envied.” Loki scoffed. “Though I would have thought by now you would have a little blonde haired bundle of joy to call your heir by now. Tick tock.” 

“Do not start brother.” Thor warned, his voice low and threatening. 

“Ooh!” Loki sneered. “I struck a nerve.” 

“Loki.” 

“Come now Thor, you are so like father, I am surprised you do not act as though she is a broodmare, to be filled constantly so to boost your ever tender ego.” Thor rose to his feet. “And there it is, that anger you know you have been dying to let out.” Loki beamed, relishing in the conflict he was causing, he had yearned for it since he saw Thor's adoration for Kari the day before, since he realised just how much Thor loved the same woman he did. 

“What reasons have you for being here Loki? Is it to taunt us for how events have unfolded? Or is it to punish us all for the wrongs against you? Kari and I were not to blame for this, but in your words, everything you have said has been against us, not father, sure your words refer to him, but you hurt not him, but us, and Kari most of all.” Thor growled. He turned to indicate to his wife only to see her seat empty. In their war of words Kari had slipped out unnoticed. “Mother.” Frigga nodded and left the table in search of the young queen. “Why have you returned Loki?” Thor turned to look at his brother once more. 

“I am honestly here because I wish to be and because I too want to be able to find some comfort at night in the arms of one I can love and attempt to love me back.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Thor demanded. 

“Exactly what I said.” Loki rose from the table. “A pleasure to be home.” He raised his chalice. “To your reign Thor, and may it be a long one.” Tipping back the chalice he finished its contents. “I think I shall go back to my rooms and get resettled.” He grinned before walking out of the room leaving Thor and Odin staring at him, both angered and confused by his words. 

“No good can come of this.” Odin stated as the door closed. 

“I think you right.” Thor agreed, walking off to find Kari, not liking how Loki had seen through everything so easily. 

“You will have to deal with him Thor.” 

“This is his home as he stated, I cannot take that from him.” 

“Then he will be your downfall.” 

“I think him honest when he says he wishes to take a wife.” Thor stated, knowing that though it was the truth, there was something very wrong about it. 

“Oh I know he is, that is clear, but to what end, for he clearly is still angry that Kari is yours.” 

“I warned you of that father, I told you he loved her, and now he will throw that at us at all opportunity.” 

“Get her with child immediately Thor, end this madness.”

“I can do no more than I am doing father.” Thor sighed. 

“I will speak with Freya, she will intervene if I ask her to.” 

“Father, you cannot force Kari to bear child.” 

“Her actions last night at Fandral’s comments suggested that there would be no forcing required.” 

“A lot has changed in that time father, Loki’s return…”

“Has no bearing on your marriage or your duties as the monarch.” Odin rose to his feet. “Kari is your wife, and as queen, it is her duty to carry your child, she knows this. Freya will simply give you an elixir, she can take it herself, or you can give it to her, either way, she will come to carry your son.” 

“She has as much chance of carrying my daughter father.” 

“Have you not noticed, in seven generations there has not been a daughter born to the Aesir king?” Thor paused, oddly enough, there was truth in his father’s statement. “Leave your mother to deal with Loki and his wife to be, and you worry about yours.” 

Kari paced the private rooms, not knowing what to make of Loki’s actions at the dinner table. She felt angry and guilty simultaneously, Odin’s constant badgering was solely based on pressurising her into having a child, but Thor had not been to blame for that, and in fact, it was her that suggested the idea to begin with. But Loki had also realised Thor's love for her had stemmed from the time that she and Loki had been courting. The accusation Loki had made sent a chill down her spine, had Thor conspired with Odin to sabotage her and Loki’s betrothal so that he could have her for himself?

Frigga entered the rooms of her son and daughter-in-law, looking for signs of Kari’s presence. When she found none she wondered where it was that the young queen had ran off to, and slowly closed the door out again as she left. 

After Kari heard the door click closed, she came out from her hiding spot and thought to herself. She thought of how her family was reacting to the evening’s events at present. Frigga would no doubt go to Loki once she realised the futility of searching for her, to try and get the younger prince to rein in his venomous comments, and if Loki was anything like he was, he would be in his rooms gleefully relishing in the hurt he caused his brother and father, though also upset at how he was hurting also. And Odin would be trying to feed Thor's anger in an attempt to get Thor to get Loki to feel it necessary to leave the palace again as fast as possible. 

There was also a chance the brothers had already come to blows, but that was not very likely, the severe lack of lightning or indeed and sound of destruction in general implied they had yet to do so, but they would, of that she was near certain. 

So she thought of where she should begin her assessment. Loki would not talk freely with Frigga present or at risk of her arriving. So thor it would have to be. it did not escape her notice that her first instinct was to go to her old suitor and not her husband. Just as she opened the door to go in search of Thor, he arrived in search of her. 

“Kari, I thought mother would be here with you.” 

“She came, but as it was not she whom I wish to be in the presence of right now, I eluded her.” 

“That is not the easiest of feats. So where is she now I wonder? I hope she did not go outside.” 

Kari looked out the window at the dark Asgardian sky, un able to see anything, but the raindrops smearing the glass told her that the realm was currently forced to endure an unintentional downpour. “My guess would be that she will be with Loki.”

Thor winced visibly at his brother’s name. “I knew no good could come of his return once I saw the way he looked at me.” 

“It was bound to happen.” Thor stared at his wife. “You genuinely thought he would say nothing of what happened?” She laughed in disbelief. “Thor, think of it as though it were you, would you have said nothing this evening?” He did not respond. “Exactly, it is better it is said now and not left to fester. Now we can all work to begin to get passed it.” 

“Get passed…Kari he accused me of wanting you to be used as a broodmare.” Thor stated indignantly. 

“You said only last night we would soon rival Volstagg for children.” 

“I would never have forced you to bear a child you did not want.” Thor's temper was rising. “You know better than that.” 

“At present I do not know what I know.” Kari stated sadly. 

“Kari?” Thor's voice became small. “I would never, what father was saying, I told him I would never allow it without your knowing.” 

Kari stared at Thor. “Without my knowing what?” His face showed he realised she knew nothing of Odin’s plan. “Thor, what has Odin said?” 

“He was going to ask Freya for an elixir for us, to get you to…” Kari felt dizzy, she ran straight to the bathroom retching. When Thor came to the doorway, she gave him a withering look which kept him back. “I told him no, I refused to consider a thing without you consenting fully.” 

“Did you get him to call off my betrothal to Loki so that you could marry me in his stead?” Thor gave an odd noise at Kari’s question, his hurt at her accusation obvious. “I never thought of it like that, but it makes sense really. Those few days you and I spent here after the wedding, and how much you knew of me already, it was because of how you felt, when Loki said it…”

“Loki is only out to hurt us all, just as you stated yourself. He is only trying to cause mischief and chaos, just as his name suggests.” Thor snapped back. 

“And let me guess, because of it Odin feels he needs to go and it needed to happen yesterday?” Thor's face told her the answer. “Well then run along my husband and do as your father wishes.” She headed for the door. 

“Where are you going?” His voice was almost meek. 

“My old quarters. I cannot bear to be in your presence at present not to mention, I fear my water to be spiked.” 

“I would never do such a thing, I wanted no part in it.” Thor stated furiously. 

“I will speak to you when you see sense again.” Kari did not look at him as she spoke. 

“And what is sense? I do not know what to think. Please Kari, please help me with this; as my wife, my partner, and my queen, please.” 

“Loki has every right to return and he has every right to be upset. We all know that, but yet you do not seem to be able to accept it. This argument has happened; now move passed it.” 

“But Kari…” 

“That is my suggestion, you had asked for it; now do with it what you will.” She walked out the door without waiting for a response. 

Kari walked to her old rooms, which were next to Loki’s; and she heard the raised voices of mother and son being mumbled incoherently through a connecting wall. Now just a regular guest room, the extra luxuries that had been there from her time residing within it were removed, but it was still very comfortable. She striped to her undergarments and got into the bed. She rethought over the evening as she tried to get comfortable, she should have known it would go as it had, Loki was not one to remain silent. 

Thor's revelation of Odin’s plan with Freya angered her, for the old prick to think he could dictate her life like that; she gritted her teeth angrily. She thanked the Norn’s that she had not carried Thor's child, because with Loki’s return and the stresses of now being queen and Allmother, Eir’s statement of her being forced to bed rest would no doubt have been true. Curling up and pulling the blanket in tight against her, Kari attempted to fall asleep. 

Thor stood staring at the door his wife had walked out of for what seemed an age. All evening she had stated that Loki had every right to return, with was true. But what would his return mean in general, and for them in particular. Odin had noted Loki’s looking at Kari throughout the evening also, but then again, who could blame him. She had become even more beautiful and he had adored her so greatly before his leaving, did he adore her still? He shook his head in anger, he had not been as possessive of Kari as Loki had suggested, he had carefully kept himself in check. And now Kari was angry with him too. No doubt overtired from the lack of sleep the night before and now that she had heard of what Odin was planning, he knew he would be lucky if she even responded to his words to her at breakfast the following morning. He would just have to wait for her to speak with him again. 

She had anticipated the conflict between him and Loki, and just felt it best to get it out of the way. He wondered if she had sensed Loki’s return to be immanent with her restlessness the night before. Thor became angsty. He was used to having Kari to talk to when something bothered him, but not having her and her being one of the issues meant he had no one. 

He needed to let her rest, then she would hopefully speak with him again, but he also needed to deal with what was happening. Kari was right, Loki needed to say what he had to him, and now, it was his turn to do the same with his brother. He reached the door and stormed out of the room in search of his brother, a loud crack of thunder filled the realm as he did.


	12. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is conflict at Loki's return, but he and Kari are not able to remain away from one another.

Chapter 12

Loki sighed, he hated having to argue with his mother, they had always been so close, but she had known he reminded himself, she knew about Odin’s plan and she did not tell them, she was culpable too. He spat that at her, and he knew it hurt, but he had to say it, his misery was because of her as much as it was Odin. 

Odin had little time for Loki as he was growing up, and even less so now, clearly. He was livid of his return, perhaps Kari was right, and he would put a finish to the old fool. That particular thought put a grin on his face. And Odin’s attitude to Kari was almost as bad as hers to him, getting under his skin was going to be both easy and fun, but he had to be careful not to anger Thor too greatly, he did not want him around him too often. 

Thor, that low lying snake had actually been in love with Kari the entire time. How had he been so blind? He knew how, he was so happy with Kari, he never noticed. Was there truth to his accusation he wondered? Had Thor asked his father to give him Kari instead? That was when Kari left the room, Thor had not noticed but he had, her face showed that she too now wondered the same. He laughed to himself, how much trouble had he just brought to the farce of a marriage. 

And Kari, so beautiful, more beautiful than she had been before, and the relief in her face when she realised it was him in the throne room sent a surge of glee through him. But he swallowed back the bile in his throat. He had silently passed by her and Thor's chambers during the night only to hear her and Thor…he shook his head violently, he did not want to think about it. The kiss she had given him, it was one filled of passion and love. She was obedient, she would give his idiot brother an heir because she had to, even if she did not wish to. 

Frigga had finally left his rooms, upset but glad that he was home. After the initial war of words, her unfaltering love for him had made her accept her part to play in what had happened. All he wanted was understanding of his anger, and she had given it, it was always her who did. She asked him if he was being honest when he said he wanted a wife, when he confirmed, she swore to find him one that would make him happy. He scoffed internally, none could make him happy sadly, but so long as she was tolerable she would suffice, and he would endure, so long as he could be around Kari again. 

The sound of his outer chambers door bursting open told him who was coming, with a deep breathe he awaited his ‘visitor’, the thunderous sounds of footfalls matched the thunder outside the palace, telling one and all, the new king was in somewhat peeved. Loki wondered if his faithful friends would run to the palace to soothe their comrade. 

Not even knocking, Thor exploded into the chambers, his face filled with fury. “Now, as I have the same parents as you, I know you were taught to knock, so I must ask, is it your new title as king that makes you think that you are immune to the use of social etiquette?”

“Why are you really here Loki?” 

“I wanted to come home.” 

“Why did you stare at Kari throughout dinner?”

“Why would you be concerned if your marriage is as sturdy as the realm believes? I wanted to annoy you, and clearly it has worked stupendously.” Loki grinned. 

“Is it to punish me? I had nothing to do with father’s decision that day, I never wanted to see you both hurt.” 

“But interestingly, the decision that happened benefitted you even if it hurt everyone else.” 

“Kari is settled now Loki, why come back?” 

“You mean that after long enough of convincing, she will just accept her fate and will endure it and carry your child.”

“What is with you and thinking I would force her to do that, I never would. The only reason we are trying for a child is under her suggestion.” Thor roared. 

Loki flinched. He had convinced himself that any children Kari would have carried by Thor would have been because of his brother, not because she wanted one with him. He recalled her repulsion of the idea the night she pleaded with him to take her, their final time together, yet their first time together. 

“Loki please.” Thor beseeched. “I did not want my feeling for her to impede on your combined happiness. You were so happy together, I never thought I would compare, I haven’t. I do not think she has ever been as happy with me as she had been you.”

“So you wish for me to leave, and what, you will forget about me again?” Loki snapped though he felt as though his heart was pulled from his chest. 

“You stated tonight you want a wife, if that is true then there is no reason for you to leave.” 

“I just want happiness again, I am sick of not having what I once was promised.” 

“Mother will find you a wife, smart of mind, and most likely mouth to endure your acid tongue.” Loki gave the glare he kept aside for Thor, causing the older to chuckle. “Brother, I am sorry for all that has happened, but there is nothing can be done to change it. Earlier when you said you were back so you could see which way to run, I miss that brother, I miss you.” 

“You miss the truths of the God of Lies? You are a sentimental fool.” 

“What can I say; I am my own worst enemy. I need you here Loki, you were sometimes the voice of reason.” 

“Sometimes? Thor I was the only voice of reason.” Loki scoffed. “You think that you can come in here, or should I say barge in here, and make a half assed apology and hope I will forget everything. I accept that Kari is your wife, but accept that I am not happy how that came to be.” 

“I do brother.” 

“And stop calling me brother, brothers do not do what you have done to me. Now get out.” 

“Between you and Kari, I am being blamed for everything Odin has done.” 

“Well if she is still as intelligent as she was, perhaps there is something of note in that. Though I am curious, why would she blame you for his actions, there is clearly no love lost between them.” 

Thor sighed. “She is telling me that listening to him is all but him making me a puppet king, but he is the one with knowledge of what to do, and other issues, and why am I telling you this?” 

“Because I have a funny feeling your poor wife is usually the one forced to endure your snivelling and she is currently not talking to you over what you just said, so instead my curiosity has cost me about thirty seconds of my life I will never get back and now has me wondering how you turned from an over arrogant idiot into a snivelling child?” Loki looked at Thor in disbelief. “Have you any idea how pathetic you sound. You are the king of Asgard and you are going around trying to be ‘daddy’s little man’ instead. I am actually embarrassed for you. No wonder you’re here, I would wager Kari has kicked you out of your chambers and I do not blame her.” 

“She did not kick me out!” Thor barked indignantly.

“So she left then?” Thor's silence was his answer. “Oh you pathetic fool. Go to bed and see if you magically grow a pair somehow tonight. Who knows, then you may get her to have the heir you want so badly.” 

Irate again by Loki’s words, Thor stormed from the room. Loki scoffed, but replaying Thor's words, he became angered. Her idea, a child was her idea. That hurt more than he could express. Though he did take solace in knowing that clearly there was now a rift between her and Thor, and no doubt, he was very much a large part of it. 

Waiting a few minutes for Thor to be gone from the hallway, he walked out of his rooms. “I wonder.” He pondered aloud as he looked to the doorway to his left. He opened it gently and walked in. 

Kari’s old rooms were different, her belongings long gone so to be with her in her chambers with Thor. He pushed that idea from his mind. The beam of light from through the bedroom door, the same door he walked through just a hundred years before with her still sleeping as he left Asgard and her behind. He pushed it open to see her curled up in the bed tossing, anxiously. When she turned again and saw him she shrieked and jumped, falling out of the far side of the bed with a loud thud in the process. 

“Kari.” He ran over to her to help her up.

“Loki, why? How did you know I was here?” 

“I had a visitor a few minutes ago.” Kari frowned, knowing who he was referring to. “So when he told me a few of his woes, I figured he was in the proverbial dog house and that you would be found elsewhere.” 

“He told you his woes?” 

“Yes, and assuming you are the usual listener, how the Hel do you drown him out?” 

“I get him to play chess with me, that way I can fixate on the game.” 

“You never played chess with me.” 

“I did not know how, you and I had enough in common not to need such pursuits.” Loki chuckled. “So what did he say?”

“He demanded to know why I returned.”

“You have not really enlightened anyone to that.”

“I got lonely.” 

“I know that feeling.”

“Are you not usually surrounded by people?” 

“That Loki, is often the loneliest place to be.” 

“So I thought to return and see if I too can find happiness.” Kari winced. “You seem to be doing okay, so I thought why not have a spouse too.”

“I think it best if I go now.” Kari pulled her hand from Loki’s grasp. 

“These are the rooms you were sleeping in.” She cursed. “Do you wish for me to leave.” Kari nodded. “So you having a husband, my brother is not supposed to anger me, but you are permitted to be annoyed at me wanting similar?” 

“You can be whatever you wish to be Loki.” 

“So no trying for a child tonight?” Kari’s face paled. “Yes, Thor made it clear the child was your idea.”

“You were right, I am nothing more than a broodmare to them.”

“Them?” 

“Odin has called for Freya to concoct an elixir, he wanted Thor to give it to me without my knowing. He said he wouldn’t but…” She took a deep breathe and looked to Loki, who was both shocked and seething. “Do you think he could have done what you thought?”

“Got Odin to change…” Kari nodded. “He seems honest about it, but I do not know, and now this elixir thing.” He wanted to be angrier at her, but with her distress and what his father had planned, he couldn’t.

“I just don’t know.” Kari sat on the bed, her head in her hands. “I just want to disappear, not one day has went by that I did not wish you had brought me with you.” 

“We would have been caught.” 

“I rather be sent to Jötunheim than endure this, yes I know of what he said. Thor has a big mouth.” 

“I could not risk it.” 

“You never gave me a choice.” Kari spat back. “I cannot trust anyone.” 

Loki looked to the floor. “Why not me?” 

“Because you left.” 

“I had to.” 

“No, you did not.” Kari declared as she got back to her feet.

“Would you rather I have stayed, what would that have achieved?”

“Just leave Loki, you’re good at that.” Loki curled one side of his mouth at Kari’s comment and stood directly in front of her so that she was forced to look up at his. When he saw the anger leave her eyes, he leant down and kissed her. After a moment she pulled back. “This is wrong, I shouldn’t.” 

“Perhaps I should leave then.” Loki responded sadly. 

“I don’t want you to.” 

“You cannot have it everyway Kari, if I stay, I will not be able to keep from you. Lead me not to temptation and expect me to behave.” 

“Loki.” This time it was Kari who grabbed his tunic and pulled him to her. “Please, Loki.” 

“Please what?” He grinned, licking his top lip. 

“I need you.” 

“You have me my darling.” 

That was all Kari heard before her lust took over. As with their kiss the night before, it sparked something within her, something she was all too willing to give in to. She nipped at his lip as she pulled his tunic up. “Lock the doors.” She whispered. 

“Already done.” He smirked in return. “My beautiful Kari.” 

“Loki.” Kari heard Thor's voice in her mind saying those words to her also, but she forced them back, they held little gravity in comparison to when they were uttered by his younger brother. “Norns.” She could not resist as she pulled herself to him, clawing at his sides as she tried to drag the tunic higher. 

As Loki lifted his arms to let her removed the garment, he cursed and whispered. “I have to go.” 

“What? Why?” 

“My mother is using her seidr to unlock the doors.” He kissed her lightly. “Until later my dove.” 

“Promise?” Loki nodded. “Swear it.” 

“I swear it.” Convinced, Kari let go of him. 

Just as he used his seidr to leave the room, Frigga knocked on her chambers door. “Kari, may I speak with you?” 

Kari knew she looked flushed, but if Frigga said anything, the tossed bed sheets and telling her of her husband’s plans would surely explain that. She walked to the door and unlocked it. “I am not in the mood to see anyone at present Frigga.”

“I heard. Thor told me.” She entered as she spoke. “I had no idea of what Odin had planned sweetheart, I swear. I can speak with Freya and not…”

“Will everyone cease trying to speak with Freya on my behalf. I am the Allmother, I can call forth any being I require and speak with them myself.” 

Frigga gave a proud smile. “Spoken like a true Queen.” 

“I…today is beyond difficult. I just want to get some rest.” 

“That is not going well I see.” Frigga indicated to both her and the bed.

“No, I slept little last night, and I think I will sleep even less tonight, so I am angered, and upset and I just want to be left in peace, so with all due respect Frigga, and you know I love out time around one another, but I just wish to be left alone at present, hence my not being around my husband.”

“That is something I wished to speak to you about, Thor is very upset at what Odin planned also, and he swore not to have you given anything without your consent. He is confused and upset too Kari, he needs you by his side.” 

“And I need to be alone. I know it is easy for you all to forget, but when Loki left, I was broken, I have scraped what little of me was still recognisable back together and tried to get on with my life, so for him to be here again means I have to deal with things I tried to ignore for so long. Thor, Odin, and even you need to respect that.” Frigga looked at her almost wounded. “I am not attacking you, I swear, you have tried to show compassion in all of this, but I need to just have one night where I am not surrounded by people, where my mind can be as it needs to be.” 

“I understand.” 

“You always do.” Kari smiled sadly. “Tell Thor I will speak with him when I see him tomorrow.” 

“So you will speak with him?”

“I have little choice, we are to meet with the Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif and their families.” 

“Very well. Try and get some sleep Kari.” 

“Try being the operative word there.” 

“We are all reeling from Loki’s return, but as you stated, you and he are the ones whose lives were so drastically altered. I understand having to be near one another again will be difficult for you both.” 

“Indeed. Goodnight Frigga.” 

“Goodnight.” 

Frigga walked out to the hallway and looked to Loki’s chambers next door. 

“Looking for me were you?” Loki called from behind her. 

“I thought you would be in your rooms.” 

“I had to get some water. Apparently the king.” There was no denying the acid filled tone as he referred to Thor's new title. “Has not okayed any staff for me.” 

“I will see that it is dealt with.” 

“Do not worry yourself, I have done so already.” Loki dismissed. “Why are you coming out of those rooms.” 

“I was looking for something from when Kari used stay there.” 

“I see, well I hope you found it. Goodnight mother.” Loki walked into his rooms without waiting for a response. 

Somewhat baffled by Loki’s manner, Frigga went to Thor. On seeing his mother he looked to her in hope. “What did she say?”

“That she will talk to you tomorrow.” 

“She is still angry.” 

“Can you blame her Thor? Think of how she must feel, first Loki’s return, then his words of her being a broodmare, only to then be told that Odin planned to…Norn’s, it is like the issues the Alfheim royal family with the drama here today.” 

“Mother, what do I do? Father’s actions any other time would be bad enough on their own, but at present, well it is definitely not the best time.” 

“No, be there for her Thor, show her you are not forcing her into anything.” 

“It was she who suggested it to begin with.” He shouted in exasperation. 

Frigga silenced him with a glare. “Accept her anger my son, and allow her to process Loki’s return as she needs to. We forget the bond they shared.” Thor winced visibly as he recalled the love between his brother and his wife. “She will come around, and then all will be fine.” 

“I hope so mother. I really do.” 

Loki scoffed to himself as he listened to his pathetic brother and his mother talk. Looking around the main area of Thor and Kari’s shared quarters, he noticed something unusual. On Thor's study table was a picture of Yggdrasil done in charcoal, but other than that, there was no sign of any art. With a small glance back at the doors through which Frigga was trying to placate Thor, he teleported himself back to Kari’s old chambers. 

He crawled up the bed as he made his way to her, her smiling and wrapping her hands around his neck as he did so. “Now my darling, where were we?” He grinned as he locked the doors with his seidr, knowing none would disturb then again that evening and began to kiss her passionately.


	13. Lustful Reuniting

Chapter 13

Kari sat next to her husband the next day, smiling politely as Volstagg retold a story from when Sif first came to the battlegrounds wanting to be allowed fight. The warrior woman instantly caught the attention of Thor as the general tried to laugh her out of the place only for her to almost beat him in a duel. The young prince not only argued that she be allowed stay, but befriended the woman immediately. Smiling at the memory, Thor added more to the story after that, looking to Kari to see if she was paying attention, but her vacant smile told him her mind was occupied elsewhere. 

As Kari shifted in her seat, she moved in a manner that made her wince. Her body was still tender, even with Aesir healing rates, she felt as though it would take the day for her body to recover fully. She smiled to herself as she remembered the feeling of elation at Loki’s returning to her room the night before, of the feeling of him crawling up her body before attacking her lips with passion and gusto. 

Sitting next to Thor with his friends, she knew her actions the night before were wrong, but she also knew that if she was given the option to do it again, she would. 

“So how does your new title feel, Your Majesty?” Fandral asked Kari with a grin. 

Kari took but a moment to reply. “Heavy.” The warrior’s looked at her confused. “Frigga was such a wonderful and indeed, loved queen, I have loathed the idea of being the one to succeed her since the day of my marriage.” 

“Indeed, that is a hard weight for any to bear.” Sif acknowledged. “But you forget, you too are adored. We hear such often.” 

Kari gave the smallest smile as she allowed herself to drift out of the conversation again, her mind returning to replaying the night before. Of how they kissed lustfully worshipping one another. Loki began to slide the sheet down to get at her body beneath, unconsciously grinding his hips downward as she bucked hers up slightly towards him. 

She recalled having to pull back slightly, and the hurt and confused look on Loki’s face. “I need a moment.” She had explained, trying to get out from under him. 

“You do not wish to…?” 

“No, I just need to use the bathroom.” She smiled. 

“Right.” He allowed her to get out from under him, his eyes widening when she walked to the bathroom door in a very short nightdress, envy filling him at the idea that Thor had seen her countless nights in such attire. 

She sensed Thor looking at her and turned to give him a small smile but she remembered what had transpired between them the night before, so instead she just nodded slightly while Volstagg retold another story. Thor returned the gesture, but with a smile hoping to gauge her upset, his reply was her looking away again.

She rubbed her head, thankfully Aesir healing ability meant she did not still ache there, but she could not hide the satisfied smirk as she recalled exiting the bathroom only to have Loki pin her against the wall next to it, hoisting her up on his now naked hips, her legs crossed behind his tone ass. “Forgive me my darling, but that nightdress…I cannot control myself.”

“I had it made for our wedding night.” She admitted. “This is the first time I have worn it.”

“It looks divine on you.” He grinned, relishing that Thor either never saw it, or wondered if she even planned to wear it; the latter made his grin even bigger. 

“I knew you would love it.” She wrapped her arms around his neck again, settling herself between him and the wall. 

“I adore it.” And with not another word, he attacked her lips again, which caused Kari to forget what she had planned to say in retort, and follow suit, kissing him back. 

It was utterly animalistic, the manner in which he slip the night dress up to her waist, his hard length pressing against her thigh as though to remind her of how he felt about her. He grabbed both her ass cheeks and grinded himself against her core, groaning wantonly at the revelation that while she was in the bathroom, she had removed her undergarments. “Loki.” She pleaded. 

“Patience.” But he had no intentions of using such; he slid himself up and down her entrance twice, relishing that she was already wet for him, and thrusted in. 

Kari gasped as she felt him fill her, looking into the emerald green of his eyes, which were mere slivers around the large black of his pupils, which exposed his arousal, not that she needed such to tell her. Leaning forward so her forehead and nose touched his, she nodded slightly, and Loki began to move. 

Her body was alight with sensations. He seemed to fit her perfectly, every muscle sculpted to fit with hers like a puzzle. It was odd, usually there was such a height difference between them, but she had made comment before the vast majority of it was in their leg length, this proved it. That was the last coherent thought that went through her mind before Loki’s thrusts increased in pace, becoming feral and stronger. She could tell he would finish quickly, as though he never touched another in their century apart. As hypocritical as that was, she hoped it through. She loathed having to lie with Thor, but it was a means to an end, if there had been a way to try for a child without it, she would have, in a heartbeat. Loki never ceased to look at her, his eyes bearing into hers, expressing his still blatant adoration of her. 

The sensation began to become too much, her stomach felt heavy with the feeling of impending euphoria, tightening her legs around him tighter, Kari bit her lip and threw her head back, banging it hard against the wall, unable to care of the shot of pain it caused as she gasped Loki’s name. She moaned as she felt his teeth grip onto her shoulder, sliding one of her hands into his hair, gripping the ebony strands in her fingers as his breathe became more ragged and his hips slapped against her own harder before finally groaning loudly and coating her already drenched channel in his seed. 

Kari bit her lip as she thought of the crude manner they had been reunited. “Ow!” She scolded herself for bringing attention to herself in front of everyone, who ceased to talk and look at her. “Excuse me.” She stated, rising from the table, all but Thor rose out of respect and looked at her in concern as she walked off swiftly. 

“What is going on Thor?” It was Sif who braved to ask the new king what was clearly wrong in the palace that day, there was a peculiar sense of foreboding since the moment they had entered. 

“It is nothing.” One look at the warrior told Thor the problem would not be easily dismissed. 

“My friend, you are aware the realm near on flooded last night, and the lightning that brightened the sky was some of your worst to date, so do you wish to try answering that again?” Volstagg pressed. 

“It is clear to see that the Queen is not herself today, and you never ceased to stare at her.” Hogun added. 

Thor sighed, thinking it best to come clean; they would surely see his brother again soon. “Loki has returned.”

“When?” Hogun asked. 

“Why?” Sif queried. 

“Yesterday, after all left the throne room. He posed as a guard and revealed himself after the day was done.” 

“And that is why your wife is out of sorts?” Fandral broached. 

“No, the arguments that ensued are. Kari was less than pleased at some revelations.” He explained, not wanting to go into greater detail. 

“Well have you spoken to her about it, I am sure of all, Kari is most at odds with this?” Volstagg asked. 

“She refuses to speak with me; she refuses to speak with anyone. According to mother, she all but shoved her out of her rooms last night.” 

The warriors noted Thor's admission of his wife not resting with their chambers with him the night before, but none said anything. “Let her come to terms with it all, my friend, I have little doubt she is confused herself at present.” Volstagg clapped his shoulder. 

“Now, what is it what Loki wants? That is a more concerning matter.” Sif sat forward, looking at her friends. 

“I wanted mother to get me the same happiness as clearly she has gotten my good brother. But I suppose now I also want to be able to live without having to be nattered about like a prepubescent woman.” The warriors and Thor turned to see Loki walking in the door. “Hello all.” He grinned happily. 

“You are in good humour today.” Fandral noted, slightly perturbed at that fact.

“Revelling in the mischief you have caused?” Sif snapped. 

“I caused none actually, I merely was the catalyst for its revealing, was I not Thor?” Thor glared at his brother. “You do not agree? Well then, tell me, what was my doing?” 

“Leave it Loki.” The warriors stared at Thor in disbelief as such an answer could only mean Loki spoke the truth. 

“I will.” The younger smiled, thinking of his night with Kari as he stared at his brother, her husband. 

“You can have little reason for being here.” Sif rose and challenged at Loki. “What is your purpose?”

“I think you forget warrior woman that by birth I am a prince, and I am required to take a wife and remain here at the palace, with or without my wanting to. I took a few years for myself, but I am still bound by duty, so I returned.” He gave a toothy grin in response. 

“I think you lying, the timing is too particular” 

“I don’t care what you think Sif; I am not here to contest Thor or his throne, for I do not want that thing. As for the timing, I left without father’s consent, I could not return when he was king without facing consequences. And considering everything that occurred, I knew Thor would not do similar, so no sooner was he king I returned. It is that simple.” 

The warriors said no more. It was true, they knew Odin wanted Loki punished for his abandonment, they heard it from his mouth themselves, and to return with him as king would not make sense for the intelligent trickster. “Well then, I think we should have a toast to your return.” Fandral smiled, trying to alleviate the tension. 

“I always liked you Fandral.” Loki grinned, sitting in Kari’s now vacant seat, earning him a glare from Thor, whom he winked at gleefully, as he was reminded of how he took his brother’s wife the night before, and ravished her lustfully, against the wall at first, then crashing the pair of them onto the bed. 

Hungrily attacking her hips, his erection not flagging as he laced his fingers in hers and slid into her again, taking his time the second time, but still looking into her beautiful eyes, reading the unsaid love clearly in them, it had made his soul sing. The headboard of the bed banged rhythmically against the wall in time with his thrusts, but neither of them cared, Kari gasped as he pinned both of her smaller hands above her head with one of his as his lips and other hand attacked her plump breast. She was so responsive to him; it caused him to hurry towards his end faster than he had wished to. When her body clenched hard around him for the second time, he could not stop the groan of pleasure that escaped him, as she called out his name in reverent, he thrusted hard once more, following her quickly so that she was still trembling while his seed again filled her. 

“What is that smile for Loki?” Thor snarled at his brother. 

“No reason brother, just remembering a fond memory from my time here in the palace.” Loki grinned as a servant brought him a chalice. “So what mischief has been caused in my absence? Who took up my place as the voice of reason?” He looked around at the warriors, who though were slightly cautious, began to speak with Loki. 

Kari decided that while Thor was still with his friends, she would slip into their chambers and get a bath, she needed to relax her still tense muscles, which ached pleasantly. After she got in, she sighed and savoured the feeling of the warm water around her. She recalled falling asleep in Loki’s arms after he slid out of her after their second time. She had wanted to grip him tightly so that he would not leave again, but she believed him when he stated he would stay, she just wondered as to how long that would be. 

When morning had come she found herself giggling in delight at not waking to find herself alone once more as she had the day of their should-have-been wedding. “Sleep well my darling?” 

“Better than I have in the past century.” 

“Well, that is music to my ears. Almost as good as the music we made last night.” He began to kiss her shoulder gently, so Kari moved her head slightly to make more room for him.

“Loki.” She ground her ass against him, startled to feel him already hard against her. 

“How do you want it my love?”

“Hard.” She breathed. 

“What a coincidence, so do I?” He pulled them up so they were on their knees, her back against his chest, and the cold air of the room hardening her nipples which he licked his lips at. “I need to be in you again my dove.” 

“I need you in me, please Loki.” 

“How can I refuse such a request?” He grinned against her ear as he slid into her still seed wet core. “Kari, my beautiful beautiful Kari.” 

Kari began to lean on her knees and fall back onto his lap again, slowly, not able to get a fast pace at such an angle. “Loki, my love, my heart.” 

Loki grinned wolfishly at the idea of her saying those adoring words to him and not to his pathetic undeserving brother. He began to push up against her falling hips, their rhythm becoming sloppier as both of them gave over to their pleasure. 

Kari’s knees screamed in pain, something Loki seemed to have noticed, so he pushed them forward so that she was on all fours, one hand gripping her hips tightly as the other slid under her, fondling her clit almost harshly as his thrust became wilder and harsher. Her third climax surpassed any she had had before, the head of his erection rubbing against the top most part of her tight channel, allowing his seed to drench her intimately. 

She wondered for a moment if she would conceive a child, but she doubted it, six months of trying with Thor and nothing, why would Loki succeed. It was tend that she realised she had begun to fondle herself in the bathtub. She looked down to see her fingers still tantalising her bundle of nerves as she continued to think of Loki, naked and handsome ravishing her. She bit her lip as she moaned and gasped in breathes, loving the sensation, but noting she was not as good at it as Loki was. She bucked her hips up as she came closer to her release, moaning loudly as she thought of Loki’s tongue pillaging her mouth lustfully. All of a few moments later, water splashed onto the cold floor as she completed, gasping for air as she tried to rein in her natural noises. 

Kari let her head fall back as she tried to regulate her breathing again. Her body delighting in the pleasure she had given it. She dunked under the water and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of the hot water all around her, when she came back up she shrieked as she looked at the door and a wide-eyed Thor standing in it. She praised the Norn’s she had not called Loki’s name in her lust. “What happened to the rest of your time with the warriors?” She asked, getting our of the bath and retrieving the towel she had placed beside it. 

“It was shortened by Loki’s arrival.” She turned to look at her husband, who was still looking at her. 

“That’s a shame.” Her tone showed she cared little for what she said. 

“Are we going to talk?” 

“We are talking.” Her voice still cold. 

“I mean with regards last night.” He pushed gently. “Kari, I swear I knew nothing of fathers plan.” 

“I know.” She acknowledged, Thor became more relieved immediately. “I want to stop trying for a child.” He looked at her as though she had slapped him.


	14. Valid Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari explains her decision, and Loki hits some more hard truths to his family and Thor finally confronts Odin;s behaviour.

Chapter 14

“What?” 

“I would like if we were to cease, actually what am I saying, I am telling you that I do not wish to bear a child. The very idea of one at present disgusts and repulses me.” She stated clearly, looking him straight in the eye. 

“Kari, I know we have been stressing greatly about this, and now with everything that has happened, but that is all the more reason to…”

“This has nothing in the nothing in the Nine Realms to do with our stresses or indeed Loki; this is solely based on the fact that your father thinks it acceptable to dictate my life in such a manner. I could not love a child born in such a circumstance. How cruel a creature would subject a child to such a fate?” She snapped, causing for Thor, a considerably taller being to cower back slightly in fear. 

“Very well.” He conceded, clearly heartbroken by her decision. “As I stated previously, I would never force you to Kari.” He looked sheepishly at her. “Does your being here now mean you are intending to return to staying here?” 

Kari thought for a moment, her staying away from Thor and Loki’s return could arouse suspicion so she gave a small nod, her face still stern. “I am going to Eir in a while, I am going to instruct her to concoct a draft to ensure nothing your father tries causes me to become with child. I have also called upon Freya myself, and I will be speaking with her with regards all that has transpired.” She stated factually. 

Still upset at her declaration, Thor simply nodded again in return. “Of course, you are queen and Allmother now, it is very much your right to do so.” She gave him a small smile. “I am sorry Kari, I really am.” 

She held up her hand. “I will speak no further of it; do not forget we are required in the throne room soon and I need to get dried and dressed.”

“Of course.” Thor looked around. “Kari, where are our staff?” 

“I sent them for something to eat.” She replied, walking to her dressing table to comb her hair. 

Thor walked over behind her, causing her to look at him in the mirror as he rubbed her shoulders. “What?” She asked, noticing the grin on his face. 

“So that is why you were…”

“Were you watching me in the bath?” 

“I came here to freshen up before going to the throne room, thinking I would only meet with our staff, I was not expecting you at all, much less you pleasing yourself in our bath.”

“No, I would imagine not.” She conceded leaning back into his touch. “I assume by that grin, you enjoyed the show?” 

“Very much so, do you do such often?” 

“Wouldn’t you wish to know? As pleasurable as this is, we best get ready.” She sighed. 

“You are right.” Thor conceded. “Would you like me to join you with Eir after?” 

“No, I think you will not be able to, I would wager you will be needed somewhere else after you are finished.” 

“Again, you are probably right. I am sorry Kari.” 

“So you keep saying.” 

Thor walked into the bathroom and washed up before joining his wife again, who had dressed and was finishing readying her hair. “How are you feeling?” He asked, Kari turned to look at him. “You know, with Loki and everything.” 

Kari shifted slightly. “Honestly, I feel confused, hurt, angry, happy, relieved, infuriated, and about forty other emotions simultaneously. When he left I was heartbroken, I felt as though he abandoned me to this half life, one he knew I had not wanted. I tried to forget him, with him back I am forced to deal with everything, I tried to ignore. But I am also elated that he has returned safe and well. Then your father went and did what he did and now I am just enraged I want him to suffer, I want him to have his second eye pecked out by his beloved Huginn and Muninn.” Thor's eyes widened at Kari’s hate filled words. “Not what you wanted to hear dear husband?” 

“Kari, my father has done some wrongs against you, I understand that, but those words are not necessary.” Thor admonished. 

She rose to her feet. “My feelings are ‘not necessary’? Really?” 

“You are taking my words wrong Kari.” Thor backtracked. 

“You asked me how I was feeling, and have now told me those feelings are not necessary. It is you taking my words wrong I fear husband,” She snarled. “I suggest we make our way to the throne room before I say something I might later regret.” 

Thor realised he again said the wrong thing, so rather than anger Kari further he said nothing more. They walked together to the throne room in silence. Just before they entered Thor held his arm out for Kari to take, she pursed her lips before taking it. 

They walked up the room with false smiles on their face, Kari taking her place near Thor at the top of the room as he sat on the throne. Not two moments later, the doors to the throne room opened again and an audible gasp was emitted by the realms people as Loki strutted up the hall in his full leather and metal armour, grinning widely. Thor watched carefully as his brother approached the throne before he halted, looking to Kari and Frigga with smiled before giving his father a cold stare. 

“As all can see, my brother has returned to us finally, and we welcome him back.” Thor declared. 

Kari could sense people looking at her, but she stared at the far wall of the throne room, waiting for whatever hell was coming to just end. 

“Touching brother.” Loki grinned, bowing slightly, arms outstretched and palms to the sky. “It is good to be back, don’t let me delay the rest of your day. I’ll just stand here next to mother.” She grinned walking to Frigga and stood silently, smiling over at his father, who glared angrily at him, knowing he could do nothing about the situation. 

The afternoon dragged, it was dull and uninteresting, and with Loki in the room, Kari could neither look at her the object of her desire, nor could she look too often at Thor, because she did not wish to upset Loki unnecessarily either. It should have been a longer day, but Thor called it short, promising to continue tomorrow afternoon though there was not supposed to be public requests on that day. 

“You would be better served doing it all now.” Odin commented when the room thinned again. 

“I am tired father, there is time enough for it tomorrow. There is nothing important on.” Thor rubbed his face in his hands. 

“You are an idiot.” Loki scoffed, laughing and shaking his head as he looking at the floor. “Nothing important? I think you forget tomorrow is the anniversary of your mother and father in laws passing.” 

Thor realised his error and looked to his wife, who was chewing on her cheeks, forcing herself to remain silent. “Kari…” 

“I best go do what I needed to get done this evening.” Kari stated coldly before turning to walk out of the room towards Eir’s rooms. 

“I knew that bit of information from Alfheim, what is your excuse?” Loki laughed again. 

“ENOUGH!” Odin bellowed. “Know your place boy.” 

“I think you have forgotten that you have stepped down from yours, we are on equal footing now father.”

“Loki is right father. I should never have forgotten such a thing.” Thor conceded. “Norn’s can I get any of this right?” 

“The ruling of a realm is not easy my son.” Frigga stated. “But you are doing well so far, it will become easier.” 

“I was referring to regarding Kari, but thank you for that mother.” 

“You are selfish, you can’t help it.” Loki shrugged. 

“Don’t start Loki.” Thor warned. 

“Where is the lie?” 

“Loki.” Frigga shook her head in warning. 

Loki shrugged and walked off toward the same door Kari walked out of. “Where are you going?” Odin demanded. 

“I am going to Eir to deal with a wound I got on my travels, I was with her this morning with regards it, and she wanted me back this evening, so I am going to go before dinner.” He explained. 

“Leave it a short time.” Thor ordered. 

“Why? Oh, I see, your wife is there. Can I ask, am I ever going to be permitted in her company? We were friends when we were suitors, and our personalities are similar, am I to be permitted to converse with her at any stage of the next say, four thousand years?” He asked, his tone nonchalant. 

“She is your brother’s wife.” Odin snarled. “What reason have you to talk with her?” 

“Odd, when she was my betrothed, none, including I, worried of Thor speaking with her.” Loki retorted. “I enjoy talking poetry and her art with her, so I was hoping to continue that, but apparently we are not even permitted to be around Eir and her healers at the same time for fear of what exactly, I am curious to know.” He grinned; thinking of their actions the night before and that morning, knowing full well his brother had much to fear. 

“None are suggesting anything untoward Loki.” Frigga tried to placate, his brow raised sceptically at her. “It is just that she is very upset at late.” 

“And have I caused any of that? I was under the impression that that was father and Thor's doing, not yours or mine. Is he always this controlling of who is around her? Is this why I have yet to even hear of her having company and ladies-in-waiting?” 

“I do not control her.” Thor growled. 

“Then where are those to stave her boredom? From what I see, she has none to confide in.” 

“I don’t know. She has not taken any.” 

“And none of you think it odd? Has she been given opportunity to?” None answered him. “Wow, how fulfilled a life she must live, I can see now why she seems to be so withdrawn. If I am not even permitted to be in the same room with her without supervision, then why don’t you come with me brother and you make up for what seems to be yet another fuck up on your behalf while I get seen to by Eir? Maybe we can all be in one another’s company for more than a few moments without you screwing up. I’ll do as I always did and kick your foot when you are threading thin ice.” 

Odin barked a cold sharp laugh. “You would do everything to try and sabotage his marriage Loki, and well you know.” 

“And pray tell what would that achieve?” Loki asked snidely. “What would I gain from that?” 

“Your brothers misery.” 

“No, I leave that sort of thing to you father, you are the most proficient at that, I would look amateur in your shadow.” Loki walked towards the door again. 

Thor was conflicted about following, he did not wish to imply he did not trust Kari, but having Loki there may break her coldness to him since he forgot her parents’ deaths. He looked to his father who indicated for him to follow, but then he looked to his mother who shook her head. 

“Frigga, he could…” 

“Prove his point perfectly. Loki is right, Eir and her healers will be in the room with them, what do you think he is going to do? Suggest to her to run away to Jötunheim and elope, be reasonable Odin.” 

“Have you started a search for a spouse?” Thor asked. 

“Of course, there are many women, both of Asgard and Vanaheim that would be very suitable. I need only find one to his liking, and who knows, that may be the company that Kari so desperately requires also.” 

“I never stopped her from having ladies-in-waiting.” Thor stated emphatically. 

“I know, but none of us have encouraged her to have them either, again Loki is right.” 

“Cease saying that.” Odin grumbled. 

“We are stating it because it is true, Kari is becoming withdrawn and it is clear she is very lonely. We need to remedy that immediately.” Frigga added. 

“Mother?” Thor asked. 

“Of course.” She smiled as she went to walk off. “And here was I dreading being bored as dowager.” 

Thor sighed in relief and walked towards the other end of the hall. “You are not going after him?” Odin asked in disbelief. 

“I do not wish to prove him right, and given what I did regarding Kari’s parents, I now need to come up with a way to make it up to her.” 

“Get yourself together and fill her with child.”

“If you mention that again father, do you know why she is gone to Eir? It is because of you. Because she dies not want you to dictate when she has a child. She is demanding we no longer try for a child.”

“That is not right, it is her duty.” 

“Mother was near three thousand years when I was born, Kari is barely over a thousand, she has plenty time to get with child, and don’t try anything with Freya either, she has called her to the palace to deal with your idea too. You have evoked Kari’s wrath father, I fear that you have forgotten that she is now Allmother as well as Queen, none will cross her.” 

“You need to get a handle on this boy.” 

“You mean Your Majesty.” Thor corrected. “I am not your puppet king father. I want your advice and experience, but remember that I am king now, not you. When you gave Gungnir to me, you knew that you would no longer call the shots. Remember father, I am not to be crossed either.” 

“Threats to me, and not to him.”

“If Loki earns my wrath then more the fool him, until then, I can only watch and wait.”


	15. Inspiration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Kari find some inspiration, but that is not always a good thing.

Chapter 15

Kari glared at the far wall, her anger still flaring through her. He forgot, her parents died on their way home from visiting them and he forgot. ‘Nothing important’ he had said. Loki had not been on realm and he knew, there was no excuse. She was glad she went to Eir. The healer was shocked at her request, but after the new queen explained her reasons, the healer nodded and gave her the concoction she would require. 

“Perhaps it is for the best for now.” Eir smiled sadly. 

“I think you right.” Kari agreed. 

“Take it with your next meal and it will take effect immediately. Even with that meal, should there be reason to be concerned.”

“Thank you, for this, and for your ear.” 

“I am a healer Your Majesty, and not all wounds are physical.” Eir explained with a smile, before she turned to her first aide. “Prepare the bandages for prince Loki.” She ordered. The aide nodded and rushed off to do as she was requested. 

“Loki requires bandages?” Kari frowned. 

“Yes your Majesty. He has some injuries from his time away that require some tending too.” 

“I see, well no better place to get that care. If he is due, then I shall take my leave. To say he said nothing in front of the family means he does not wish for us to know.” She took her vial and went to leave. “Ooh! Sorry.” She collided with Loki just outside the door. 

“I see you are finished, Thor will be relieved.” Loki grinned as he assisted Kari in straightening up again. 

“Thor knew you were coming here?” Loki nodded. She looked around the hallway and noted no sign of her husband. “And he did not follow you?”

“I offered for him to come, but he declined.” 

“Really? I cannot imagine father dearest being too pleased with that.” 

“I think it nearly killed him.” Loki grinned even more. 

“Good.” Kari snapped coldly. “They are ready for you anyway. You never mentioned your injuries to me.” 

Loki leant in close to her ear and whispered. “In my defence, I was too preoccupied with other things.” 

Kari bit her lips together as the memories flooded back to her again. “I guess I can forgive you.” 

“I knew you would my darling. Will I see you again tonight after Thor's momentous screw up?” 

Kari sighed. “I assume he will do as he always does and attempt to make it up to me, in which case I will be forced to endure his apologies for the evening.” 

“And then lie with him.” Loki swallowed hard, his tone bitter. 

Kari left out a cold bark of a laugh. “Not any time in the near future. I do not trust him any longer, so I am not risking him touching me. Besides, why would I want him when I have you.” She bit the side of her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled up at him coyly. 

“You little minx.” He leant in close. “I better leave you for now my love.” 

“He has the ravens on us, doesn’t he?” 

“They have been released and are on their way.” Loki confirmed. 

“I would kill them only I wish for them to feast on his corpse.” 

Loki’s eyes widened and he pulled back to look at Kari, whose usually beautiful face was filled with hatred. “My, my, I do not think you have ever been as desirable as you are at present my love.” He kissed her quickly. “Until next time.” She kissed him in return, before walking away. 

Kari saw Huginn and Muninn fly around the corner above her as she turned to head to her chambers. She tried to control her hatred for their master, but every day that proved harder and harder to do. It was inevitable that it would all come to a head between them all sooner or later; she only hoped that when it did, she and Loki would still have one another. 

When Kari reached her shared quarters with Thor, she sighed. Truthfully she did not want to go in, but knew she would have to face him. So rather than delaying the inevitable, she walked in, only to see that her husband was nowhere to be found. “Thor?” At that moment, her handmaid came out of the bathroom. “Helena, where is my husband?” 

“I have not seen him today.” The maid admitted. 

“Odd.” Usually when Thor messed up, he did something for her. “I will eat alone here tonight, if any of the family sends someone to ask as to my whereabouts, tell them I am ill until tomorrow with a potion from Eir, understood?” 

Helena looked at her employer in shock. “Of course.” She bowed. “Are you ill Your Majesty?” 

“No, but they need not know that.” 

“Ands what if his Majesty looks for you?” 

“Tell him I am…” Kari shrugged. “Tell him the truth, but also that I am occupied with other matters, but that I am here none the less.” 

Helena cocked her head slightly, but nodded, not wanting to disobey her queen. Kari went into her dressing room and chose an older dress, changing quickly she grabbed what she needed and went into the small reading room that she and Thor tended to eat and play chess in and got on the floor. She knew it was most undignified for a queen to sit on the floor with no shoes and an old dress to go drawing, but after the day she had, she did not care. Loki’s return had reignited her love of art, and she could not contain it. Queen or not, this would be hers as Frigga had her seidr and her flowers. She began to just allow herself draw, and soon she was smiling happily as she became more engrossed at what it was she was creating. 

Thor had thought of everything to see what would be a good way to make it up to Kari for what he said. He had called back the courtiers and the people that required his judgement, and dealt with their needs, so that he would be able to be with her as she mourned the loss of her parents the following day. How could he have forgotten, it was after her parents deaths that Kari began to sleep against him more naturally, as though she thought him the only thing she had left worth losing. As the people argued their cases, he thought over what he could do. So new into his reign, he could not just up and leave his people to take her away for a few days. 

Then it came to him. They had not dealt with their Light Elf friends in so long; he could arrange a royal visit to them and use it to spend time with her. King Fredrick was close friends with Thor and Loki growing up, and both men had ascended the throne in a relatively short time of one another, they would be expected to meet soon regardless, so why not arrange it to be very soon indeed. So he ordered a messenger to Alfheim, asking that the other king would meet with him with regards simply confirming both were happy with their agreements, yet knowing full well that Queen Anya was heavy with child and would not be able to travel, so that he and Kari would have to travel to them, and perhaps speaking with Anya would cause Kari to reconsider their not having a child. 

He had planned on telling Kari at dinner, but she never arrived, his mother sent a maid to look for her, but according to her own handmaid, she was ill from the potion. He noticed Loki brow raise as his father again expressed his anger at Kari’s disregard for her duties, but again he silenced him, causing Odin to rise from the table and walk off. But also earning comendment from Loki at growing some balls, and an approving look from his mother. 

He wondered if Kari would be as proud when he saw her. Opening the door he walked in to see Helena and Leila, his wife’s maids sitting and talking with his hand servant. On seeing their king, they all rose. “Where is my wife? Is she resting?” 

“Not exactly sire.” Stefan stated. 

“Explain.” When the servant looked to Helena, Thor's gaze followed. 

“She told me to tell any of the other staff that came that she was ill, but in truth she simply remained here, actually in the other room.” Helena pointed to the door behind which the queen was drawing. “I informed her that the dinner she stated she would have here arrived, but she has not left the room.” 

Thor looked at the food on the tray in front of him. “Why not put it at the table?” 

“She told me not to come in your Majesty.” Helena was becoming scared that she had done the wrong thing. 

“Did my wife tell you to tell me everything?” Helena nodded. “Thank you. You are all dismissed until I call upon you again.” He smiled kindly. The staff bowed and began to leave as Thor took the tray and walked over to the door. “Kari?”

“I’m busy.” 

“I sent the staff away.” 

“Fine.” Her voice was distracted. 

“Your food arrived.” 

“Fine.” 

“Kari, whatever it is you are doing, it can wait until after you have eaten.” Thor insisted. 

“I am not hungry.” 

“But you must eat. Please my love.” 

Kari shuddered on hearing Thor call her those words. She knew he meant them as much as Loki did when he uttered them, but the difference was, she returned the sentiment to Loki. He had been right, she was only fooling herself by thinking she loved Thor. She had all but forced her mind to accept his love for her and insisted to it that she returned the sentiments, but with Loki’s return, she knew it was not through. “Fine, give me a moment to tidy up.” 

“The maids can do that.” 

“No!” Kari looked around her at her mess. “No, I’ll do it myself.” She began to tidy, but as she placed the final piece of paper into its rightful place, Thor opened the door. 

He looked at the floor, littered in pencils and then to his wife, her hair hanging loosely from a hair tie, her dress too large for her, had she lost weight? And on her skin, marred with grey glistening where she had accidentally smudged lead from the pencils onto her cheeks. “Kari.” 

“I know I look like I was dragged backwards through a bush.” 

“You look more beautiful and happy than I have seen you in a long time.” Thor smiled. “You are drawing again.” 

“Yes, I just don’t know why it is back so suddenly.” She shrugged. It was true, she did not know why she could not contain her need to express herself for the first time in a century in such a manner. 

“It’s him being here, isn’t it.” Thor realised, his face dropping. “It’s Loki.”


	16. Painful Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor demands to see Kari's art, fuelling a terrible argument, to try and right things, Thor goes to Loki for help, but that only leads to more bickering.

Chapter 16

Kari pursed her lips for a moment, she knew there was no reason to lie. “Apparently so. I cannot control it, but it would seem that Loki was somewhat a muse for me.” 

“Is you mean.” Thor clenched his jaw. “And I was not.” 

“I cannot help it Thor, and if you must know, what I have sketched today has absolutely nothing to do with him.” 

“You expect me to believe that?” 

“Yes, I do actually, have I ever given you reason to doubt me in a century of marriage?” 

“In that century he has not been here. In the day that he has, you have ceased wanting a child and have started drawing again. What am I supposed to think?” 

“You are supposed to accept that I do not want to be forced to carry a child, or perhaps that I feel like a failure for not having conceived one, or hell even both. With regards my art, I cannot help that Thor, but nothing I have drawn is regards him.” 

“Show me.” 

“What?” 

“Show me what you drew, prove it.” 

“Thor, I don’t show people my…” 

“You showed him! You gave him work. It still hangs in his rooms.” Thor became angry. 

“It took me time to trust him enough to show him.” She argued, become more and more upset. 

“So you trust him but not me.” 

“No, I do not trust him now, I don’t know him anymore, I have no idea how he would react.” 

“And me?” 

“You do not want to see what I have drawn to look at it, you want to see it see if I drew him.” 

“Show me Kari!” Kari stepped back startled by his demand. 

Angered and upset, she went to the place she stored the few drawings from the day and grabbed them; she looked at Thor for a moment to see him glowering back at her and threw the pages at him. “Don’t bother waiting for me tonight, or any night in the near future.” She stated furiously as she walked out the door. 

Thor looked at the drawings in his hand for a few moments and cursed the Norn’s. He let them fall to the floor and walked after her. When he got to the hall outside, he looked both ways, noticing that it was empty. He went to the rooms she had used before she was wed, but it was empty bar a maid tidying it once more. He walked to their rooms and picked up the pieces of paper. 

The sketches were fantastic. The flowers in a vase on their table, two birds that must have landed on their window, and finally, Mjolnir, the shading on the hammer was perfect, it almost looked as though it was the hammer itself. She had spoken the truth, none were of Loki, his being there simply caused her to want to draw. He looked again at the birds and frowned. 

It was Huginn and Muninn, the sheen of their feathers were perfect. Why had she drawn them, Odin kept the ravens in his quarters, they rarely left them except for when he ordered them to. It dawned on him then that his father had sent them to spy on her. He became enraged, he was acting like Odin. And if there was one sure way to guarantee the ruin of his marriage; it was to treat Kari as Odin treats her. 

There was only one to assist him now. he knew he would have to swallow his pride, and that he would be listening to Loki for a long time to come, but he had to try. Taking the pictures, he walked to Loki’s rooms. 

Loki was reading one of his favourite books in his rooms, one that Kari had given him on his name’s day when they were betrothed. She had seemingly scoured more than one realm for it, and though it was not a favourite of hers, she loved when he read her passages from it. He felt angered at the thought of her in Thor's arms after he had finally been able to sleep with her in his. He was no fool, he knew what they had done was wrong, yes she was Thor's wife, but she was his soul mate. 

The knock on his door drew his attention back to the world once more. He called for the knocker to enter, and was slightly bewildered when it was Thor that entered. “Should you not be with Kari to make up for forgetting her parents anniversary?” he asked in a bored tone going back to reading his book. 

“I messed up Loki.” 

“Yes, we established that.” He looked at Thor. “Wait, you mean you have messed up further? How in the Nine Realms has this marriage lasted a century?” 

“You were not here.” 

“So you are blaming me for your woes and troubles?” Loki challenged, placing the book down and getting to his feet. 

“No, no I am not.” Thor's shoulders slumped. “I am messing up, and I am to blame. I said something to Kari and now she has run off, and I know not where.” 

“What did you say this time?” 

“I…I…” Thor sighed. “She stopped drawing when you left.” 

“And?” 

“The night before you arrived back, she began again. Like it was a sign of your impending return. You were her muse Loki, you apparently still are.” 

“I’m honoured.” Loki said plainly, though internally he delighted in that knowledge. 

“She drew these when she returned from the healers today. They are terrific.” 

“Wait, she let you see them?” 

“That is what I cannot understand, she used let you see her work, but when I asked, she became defensive.” 

Loki shook his head. “You do not understand Thor. See this is why…” he took a deep breath before continuing. “She never wants people see them because she fears what they will say.” He looked to the paper in Thor's hand again. “So if she did not permit you to see them, why have you got them? Have you taken them without her knowing?” 

“No, she knows I have them. I demanded them from her.” 

“You…” Loki’s eyes widened. 

“She has not drawn in a century, then you turn up and she is on the floor day and night sketching.” 

“So you demand she hand over part of her soul to you? Is it not enough to force her into solitude, you must take from her the one thing she loves as well?” 

“Her soul?”

“That is outlet. Mine is seidr, mother’s is her gardens, yours is, well whatever. That is her most intimate thoughts and ideas and you demanded them from her as though they are merely scraps of paper. And why, because you thought them of me. And out of curiosity, are they?” 

“No, they’re not.” Thor conceded, looking down again. 

“Oh Norn’s, you are such an idiot. Have you any idea what you have done? You could have crushed her fully now.” 

“I have not crushed her.” 

“I have yet to be permitted to be in her company for long, but I can tell you, that woman that stands by your side is a shadow of the one I was set to marry. She is thinner, colder and melancholic, she is not the woman I knew.” 

“Cease Loki.” Thor shook with temper, thunder cracking loud outside the windows. 

“Why, because I am telling you that you are failing her miserably. I should have brought her with me. Even if we were caught and sent to Jötunheim as that bastard said he would do to her, at least her death would have been swift. This is only prolonging the inevitable.” 

“I said enough!” Thor stood nose to nose with Loki, lightning flashing brightly outside. 

“You know I am right Thor, you know you have crushed her. And me being here is causing you to do it more and more, and that is why you are angry at me, because I am the realisation of your faults not only as a husband, but as a man.” 

“Leave Loki.” Thor snarled through gritted teeth. 

“You know that will not solve it. In fact, it may end your marriage altogether. If she does continue to draw, which may be in jeopardy due to your fuck up, it will save her from her solitude.” 

“I never even thought of her having ladies-in-waiting.” Thor frowned.

“Of course not, you are too selfish, you had your friends, what would you care about her having any?” 

“She was not forced to remain by herself.” 

“Has she ever been forthcoming enough to make them alone, she is naturally a quiet person? She would have needed you.” 

Thor stood back conceding that Loki was right. Kari was not outgoing, and he knew it, and he did nothing to help her. 

“You’re pathetic. You are a king for Norn’s sake, act like it. Now get out of here, you are ruining my evening, I am under instruction to relax for myself while I heal.” Loki sat back down and took up his book again. “Although I would love to see what you have planned next, and how ridiculous that will end up being.” 

Thor stormed out before Loki could anger him further. He looked around and thought, Kari had nothing with her, she needed clothes, she was dressed like a pauper, so she would need to go back to their rooms, or send her maid there. With that in mind, he went back there to wait.

Loki chuckled to himself in his rooms. “The fool.” Not long after, he heard the door open quietly. “I wonder who that could be.” He grinned. Looking up from his book, his jaw dropped. 

Kari was standing in front of him, looking more beautiful than he ever recalled. She looked dishevelled and unkempt, and it was utterly bewitching. He rose from the chair and took quick strides over to her, as she jumped into his arms and they kissed passionately. Ensuring to lock his doors, he brought her into his bed chambers. “Where did you run off to my darling?” He asked between kisses. 

“I had to deal with two little pests.” She grinned. 

“What did you do to them?” 

“I just locked them in the weapons vault. That will cause Thor to have to deal with them and in turn their insufferable handler.” 

“You devious little minx.” Loki chuckled as he kissed down her clothed body. “I do not think you ever looked more beautiful.” 

“You are blind.” 

“If this is the last thing I ever see, I will be happy for it.” He grinned as he pulled the dress up. “No undergarments? God’s you are out to kill me Kari.” 

“I thought you would appreciate it.” She smiled. 

“Allow me to show my appreciation.” He pushed the dress up and kissed up her thigh, not stopping until he reached the apex of it, then using his tongue to lick and suck at her. 

With her fingers gripping his hair tightly, Kari grinded her core up toward his mouth as he worshiped her body as she voiced her pleasure. As she reached euphoria, she called his name out. 

“I wish I had stayed now. we missed out on a century of this.” Loki grinned, opening his pants to allow himself free of it confines.

“As do I.” Kari concurred, kissing him and tasting herself on his lips. “Loki.” 

“Already wanting more my darling?” 

“Can anyone hear us?”

“Of course not.” He grinned. 

“Then I implore you, take me.” 

“Ehehe.” He chuckled before aligning himself with her core and pushing in with one stroke. “Hold on to the headboard, for I am about to show you how much I truly adore you like this.” 

She gripped the wood so tight her knuckles whitened. “Take me.”


	17. A Slap in the Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets a reply from Alfheim, and at a family meal, more arguments ensue. On Alfheim, Thor and Kari's marriage takes a turn for the worse (no actual slapping involved)

Chapter 17

Thor received a response from King Frederick swiftly enough. As he had expected, with the impending birth of their child, he and his wife were not willing to risk her travelling via the Bifrost, so they invited him and Kari as well as members of their court to visit Alfheim instead. Much to Thor's chagrin however, the Light Elf king also knew of Loki’s return, and the invitation was extended to him specifically also. 

Kari frowned as Thor informed them all at the breakfast table that he had decided on a date to depart. It had been a fortnight since they had been in each others company in private, and for the entire time, they had not slept in the same quarters. Instead, each night, though it was assumed she was in her old rooms, she graced Loki’s bed, neither able to sate their lust for the others bodies until late into the night, and then lay in each others arms exhausted until they fell asleep. When they would be in Alfheim, Kari would be forced to stay with Thor in the same quarters. None would be made aware of the issues between the young King and Queen. 

They were hardly speaking, with Kari not even acknowledging Thor at her parents’ memorial. She only entered their chambers when she knew for a fact that he was absent from them. Her handmaids looked at her with a peculiar manner, wondering when their mistress would return to them, seeming as she all but barred them from going to the other quarters, locking it, they assumed, to prevent her husbands entry. They informed her on more than one occasion that Stefan, Thor's chief hand servant, stated that the king had yet to sleep a full night since her departure, unable to rest without her there beside his side. She had noted herself that when she was in Thor's company, he indeed looked weary, and spent considerable time staring at her. 

She continued to draw and sketch, mostly objects within her environment and soon her love for drawing Loki as a subject returned also. As with before, he was gracious when she showed him something, and understanding when she did not; she did ensure however, that everything she drew of him, immediately made its way to him, not wanting Thor to see them were he to demand her sketches again. 

Thor however, saw the visit to Alfheim as a way to bring Kari back to him. He knew she would not want to cause issues and would stay in the same quarters as him, and that would permit him to speak with her, and get her to realise his remorse. 

The day of their departure, the whole family ate together, and an uncomfortable silence looked over the table. 

Loki and Frigga were discussing the drama that had played such a defining part in Fredericks ascension to the throne, as Loki was able to fill the table in with more details, having arrived on Alfheim not long after everything had occurred. It transpired that the old king, Frederick’s father, had gotten not one, two or three, but every last one of the queens handmaids with child, causing his wife to force him to step down and have their far more respectful and honest son take over. 

“I find it interesting that you arrived there at that time.” Odin commented from his seat, his one eye glaring at Loki.

“I arrived after, or is your hearing leaving you as well?” Loki retorted angrily. “He was already King before I set one foot on Alfheim.” 

“How did you get there?” Loki looked to Thor. “You were not using the Bifrost, so how did you make your way among the realms?”

“There are weak points on any realm, you know that. You simply have to choose which one to take carefully.” 

“Where are they?” Odin demanded. 

“You are no longer Allfather, I need tell you nothing.” Loki stated coldly, giving his father a glare. 

Odin was about to begin an argument when Frigga intervened. “Have you found your ravens yet dear?” 

Odin glared at Loki, who was grinning to himself. “What have you done with them?” 

“On my life, I have not touched your beloved feathered pests.” 

“Like Hel.” 

“Why would Loki go to your rooms to attack your birds father, really?” Thor sat back in his chair, waiting to see if his father would confirm his suspicions that the ravens were sent to follow Kari.. 

“They were in the weapons vault when I last saw them; they must be ravenous if they are not yet dead. I cannot believe you sent none to look for them sooner.” Kari stared at Odin appalled. 

“Why were they in the weapons vault?” Thor frowned. 

“And how do you know they are there?” Odin demanded. 

“I noticed they were always wherever I was, which, for the record, is most distracting when you are trying to get dressed. Does the idea of watching your daughter-in-law getting changed titillate you somewhat?” She queried. Thor glared at his father. “So I decided to see how far into the palace they were ordered to follow me, and the answer, it turned out, was all the way to the weapons vault, which as we all know, is protected by Gungnir’s magic, not to permit someone to spy within, including dirty old perverts.” 

Loki could not hide the scoff of laughter he emitted as Kari challenged Odin in such a way. When he looked at Thor however, his grin turned into a full blown smile. Thor was shaking with fury, and even Odin realised it. 

“You dare send your ravens around after my wife as though she a treasonous wench!” 

“Thor.” His mother attempted to settle him. 

“You cannot possibly be fine with this mother?” The young king asked incredulously. 

“Of course not, but ahead of our going to Alfheim, the last thing we require is an argument.”

“I cannot believe that no one is still gone to look for those ravens.” Kari stated as she continued to chew on a slice of melon. That only set Loki off chuckling again. 

“You are relishing in this as much as he is.” Odin snarled looking to Kari. 

“Actually more so than him, I got to call you out for being a pervert, I do not think he has ever had that honour.” 

“It’s true.” Loki acknowledged. 

“And perhaps our similarities derive from our once being chosen for one another on our likenesses.” She rose from the table. “And since no one else is going to go and deal with those poor creatures, it seems I will have to.”

“You put them there.”

“You forced me to.” Kari retorted. “And be warned, if I so much as sense them following me again, I will have the palace archers use them for target practise.” She stated coldly as she walked off. 

“I must commend you Thor, whatever you have done this past month, it has done wonders for her. Her fire is back.” Loki finished his chalice and too rose from the table. “I think I best get the last of my things ready for the journey. As always, I can never accuse a family meal of being a boring affair.” And with that he walked off. 

“Thor.” Odin began, but the young king raised his hand and silenced him. 

“Kari has not slept in our bedchambers in four weeks, she has not spoken to me unless necessary in that time either, some of it is my fault, but so much of it is yours too father. The reason she will not even let me near her…” 

“Just went out the door.” Odin pointed after Loki. “You are a blind stupid boy, not yet fit to be king.” 

“BUT I AM KING.” Thor roared in return, Frigga jumping with the viciousness of his tone. “And the reason for why I cannot hope my wife to bear child lies solely with you. My chance to remedy that by having her come with me to Alfheim has been hindered greatly again, by you. Forget Kari’s threats, heed mine, if you use those filthy beasts to look at my wife again, I will allow her the threat she made, and carry out my own punishments on you.”

“You are blind.” 

“I am trying to save my marriage. The one YOU forced us into. Do you want me to die heirless, you know what happens then don’t you, Loki becomes king, or his own offspring. I am trying to ensure what you wanted happens, and every time I get close to repairing it, you ruin it again, so sit down, shut up and for once in your life keep your opinions to yourself.” With that he too rose from the table. 

The ravens were alive, thankfully there was water in the vault around one of the weapons, so they were not dehydrated, but they clearly were very wary of Kari as a result of her actions, and most would wager, even if Odin told them to follow her again, they would be reluctant to. 

The carriage journey to the Bifrost site was an awkward one. None spoke, and Loki grinned at the chaos around him for which he could not be blamed, since he technically had no part in it. 

On Alfheim, things fared little better, but the Aesir royals acted as though nothing was amiss. When they were shown to their rooms, Kari assessed them immediately. The bed was smaller than theirs, not really made for a man of Thor's stature, to even attempt to remain in the same bed as him she would be forced to lean in against him. She was grateful that the Light Elves enjoyed comfort; there was a choice of areas in the room for her to rest. 

“Kari.” She did not even turn around to face her husband; she simply turned her head slightly. “We need to get ready to go to the feast.” His voice was low, and almost defeated. She simply nodded in reply. “Please, please talk to me Kari.” 

“I have nothing to say.” She dismissed, walking to the bathroom, but Thor followed her. “Get out.” 

“How can I make it up to you when you will not let me?”

“I do not wish for you to. I wish to be left in peace.” 

“And what about tonight?” he asked, hurt. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You are not going to ask for separate rooms are you?” 

“No, of course not, do you wish for us to be the talk of the realms?” She snapped. “There is a window seat over there, it is large enough to fit me well, I will rest there.” 

“That is not right.” 

“Well I am not the one to cause this mess, am I?” She retorted, leaving a hurt Thor in her wake. 

When they were dressed in their finery and ready to go down to the feast, Thor extended his arm to her, and Kari forced herself to take it. “I will make it up to you Kari, I swear.” 

“Can you take back what is done Thor?” 

“No.”

“Then do not bother. It is one thing to not trust me, which is hurtful, but it can be worked through, but I did nothing to deserve the manner in which you treated me that night, you took something so precious to me and pissed all over it. That to me is unforgiveable.” 

“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. 

“So you keep saying, it does not make it any better. Now let us start this charade. The sooner we are done here, the sooner I can go home.” 

The feast was a pleasant enough affair, with Frederick, Anya and their court welcoming the Aesir as old friends. For the first time in too long, Kari found herself happy in the company of others, enjoying speaking with Anya at length on different matters. 

“Being queen is not easy.” Kari agreed. 

“Whatever of us, you have to follow Frigga as Allmother, I would never be envious of you Kari.” 

“I find myself very envious of all but me of late it must be said.” Her eye falling to the bump which Anya was stroking. 

“You are no doubt duty bound to have one soon also. If you hurry they will be friends as our husbands are.” The other queen smiled excitedly. 

Kari swallowed hard as the smile fell from her face. “I fear they will not have the chance.” She stated sadly. 

Anya looked sadly at her, not wishing to press the matter too much. “Do you see yourself being a mother in the future?” 

Kari looked at her, her eyes displaying her heartache. “I do, and I wish I could see myself as one now. I…” She swallowed again. “I fear it may not be possible though.” 

“You have been…” Kari nodded. “That is concerning for you, is it not?”

“It has been an issue of contention for some time I fear.” 

“Well, let us not think of such things this evening.” Anya smiled sadly patting Kari’s hand. “I see Prince Loki has returned to Asgard.” 

“With a month, yes. It is good that he is back. Thor missed him greatly.”

“And you?” Anya looked at her. “We all know what Odin did to you all, taking you and Loki from one another like that. I never heard of a crueller fate.” 

“There is nothing can be done with regards it, we can only continue on.” Kari shrugged. 

“You are stronger than I Allmother, for I would never be able to do such a thing. He told us during his time here that he would try to return, we thought he would not be capable of it, the heartache was still too raw for him.” 

“He seems to be coping well though.” She looked over to him for a moment, on seeing the two queens looking at him, Loki raised his chalice slightly in acknowledgement and smiled. 

“Do you spend much time speaking with him?” 

“Rarely, sadly, but life is so busy at present.”

The evening ended with the men going with King Frederick to enjoy some elfin wine while Anya insisted on going to bed, tired. Kari ceased the opportunity to go to her bed quarters before Thor and left also. When she arrived, she took some blankets and had her maids help her ready for bed, before taking the window seat and curling up on it comfortably. 

When Thor arrived back, he frowned on seeing the empty bed, thinking Kari had shamed them by requesting separate rooms, but he soon realised it was worse than that when he saw her sleeping behind him as she swore to. He swallowed hard. How was he supposed to set things right, when she would not let him. 

He had heard through Frederick of her conversation with Anya regards childbearing. As he had thought, she reacted longingly, but also more upset than he could have predicted to the discussion. Frederick mentioned offering her some elfin mead, it was sweeter than Aesir one, and was said to aid in conception. Thor thanked him for the offer, and said he would mention it to Kari, not wanting the other king to know of the elixir Kari had decided to take to prevent her becoming with child after everything. 

He was no fool, his marriage was in a bad place. Why had he demanded those drawings, why could he not have just listened to her. She had been right, she had never given him reason to not trust her before that, his mistrust was just that, his, not hers. “Please forgive me Kari.” He mumbled as he got into the bed. 

During the night, Kari tossed in her sleep, too used to being in Loki’s embrace, having relished in it since his return. In her tossing, she woke Thor, who turned in the bed to look at his wife. Realising she was too close to the edge, he got up just as she began to slip off. 

Kari woke in Thor's arms. “What?” 

“You fell off.” He explained. 

“Oh.” She righted herself onto her feet again. “Are you just back now?”

“No, I woke and saw you falling.” 

It was then she realised that Thor was naked in front of her. “Right, well, sorry for getting you out of bed.” She took the blankets again and got back onto the window seat. 

“You do not have to sleep there.” Thor voiced sadly. 

“I feel it best if I do.” 

“Kari.”

“Goodnight Thor.” 

“Is this it, for the next say four thousand years, barely speaking with one another? What happens when we require an heir?”

“I will get ridiculously drunk, take that elixir of Freya’s and that will do it.” Kari stated coldly. 

“Kari, this is ridiculous.” 

“No what is ridiculous is every day I have to stand in that hall with you and listen to people who wish to divorce because they want to take a younger lover, they cannot stand the others snoring and they hate their wives cooking, and all the time I have to remain married to a man that neither trusts me nor believes me, with no good reason I might add.” She knew it was a bit hypocritical for her to say such when she knew different, but he didn’t. He thought she merely thought of Loki, when the truth was far worse. “I have to look at them daily as though I am not envious of them.” 

That hit Thor like a slap across the face. She wished for a divorce, it was far worse than he feared. The only thing in his favour was that for them, like with all monarchs, such was not an option. “I had not realised it had gone that bad.”

“Well it has, I want nothing to do with you any longer Thor, and the thought that I will have to one day give you an heir makes my skin crawl. Do us both a favour, take a fancy mistress and get her with child, that way the onus is off me to be stuck with such a task.” 

Thor swallowed, trying to will the tears back at her words. “It would not be my heir though, would it?”

“I am sure we could make an exception.” She said through gritted teeth. “Now, goodnight.”

“It was a few pieces of paper, nothing more. Is that reason enough for you to want this for us?” 

“Pieces of…you see this is proof why we are in this position, I do not call Mjolnir a lump of metal, I never scoffed at your pursuits or belittled them, but you have just outright dismissed mine. You have no respect for me.” 

“I do, I love you.” 

“How can you say that? I am not someone who shares my art, so instead of trying to get me to open up to you about it, you demanded it.”

“I made a mistake.”

“That is all you are doing of late Thor, you are turning into him, and I despise him with all of my being, and it is starting to be the same with you!”


	18. The Passage of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Alfheim, and fast forward 50 years.

The trip to Alfheim, though great for the strengthening of the two realms alliances, all but destroyed Thor and Kari’s marriage. Them being in close quarters with one another meant that Thor's attempts to make amends only caused Kari to become more angered. By the end of the trip, she would not even look at him. 

On arrival back to Asgard, she became more outgoing again, as she was able to draw and read in as much peace as she wished Loki always respected when she just wanted to be alone, and she him and she was no longer forced to be close to Thor.

Frigga set about finding Loki a spouse, but there were not many well suited to the younger prince. He required a spouse who would respect his need for solitude, his quieter nature, his love of seidr and be well read. The dowager sighed; she knew she was looking for another Kari. But that is why she had chosen Kari for Loki; she was so unique, yet similar to her son. There had been a few women brought to the palace, to gauge their interactions with Loki, but none seemed to gel naturally with him, they were either desperate to join the wealthy royal family, or uninterested in him as a being. 

“What does it matter, just get him wed.” Thor growled one morning at breakfast. 

“Indeed, compatibility is only part of it all.” Odin agreed. 

“Yes, because choosing people who are not the least bit suited has worked out so well before hasn’t it?” Kari snarled sarcastically at her husband and father-in-law. “Then again, there is the saying, misery loves company.” She added as she left the table. 

“Where are you going?” Thor asked. 

“Away from this, the last thing I ever want to hear is of someone being forced to endure what I have to.” She did not look behind as she walked out of the room. 

Angered, Thor rose also and stormed after her. It was close to the throne room when he finally caught up to her. “What is wrong with you?” He demanded, turning her to face him. “Why do you care who he is wed to?” 

“I care about both him and some poor woman being forced to stare at one another in pure hatred day in and out, although, they would be permitted a divorce, but you have become so spiteful, you would deny them it just so he would be forced into the same position as you.” 

“I was happy in this marriage Kari, you know that. Then he arrived back.” 

“And you turned into a carbon copy of your father, pushing me away so much that I cannot be near you.” 

“I am not him, can you not see that of late I am doing nothing but arguing with him also, and mostly for the wrongs he has committed against you.” 

“Just cease Thor, I am not going to forgive you, so cease trying to kiss up to me.” 

“You’re my wife, we should be close, have one another’s backs, want a life together, want a child together.”

“Well I no longer do. I wish you would do as I stated and take a mistress, just leave me in peace.” 

“No.” 

“Well then suffer along too, but you were given the option.” Kari shrugged. 

“And what of you, will you take a…” 

“A lover, no, I have no intentions of going in search of one. I am more content with my life at present than I have been in some time.” She smiled, knowing that the truth in her words was not as straight forward as it would appear. 

“It is wrong for it to be like this Kari.” 

“Just concern yourself with running the kingdom.” She dismissed, walking off, knowing that sooner or later, he would finally stop trying. 

X X X X X X

Fifty years passed, and Loki took a wife, but only because he was forced to, but after less than a year of marriage, it was annulled. He refused to lay with her, stating that it would not be fair to take her virtue if it was not his intention to cherish it. Thor was forced to grant the annulment, as it was Lena that went in search of it, and stated Loki’s lack of cardinal interest. 

All the time, Kari and Loki remained as they had before. Their rendezvous’ were more difficult with a second spouse to concern themselves with, but it caused them to become innovative, and in turn made their time together more passionate. 

Odin’s health began to decline rapidly; his Odinsleep's becoming more frequent and more taxing on his ailing body. Frigga fretted for her husband, though she did not approve of his acts against Kari and Loki, and often fought with him regards them, she did love him. The more his health declined, the more she began to find herself aging badly also. 

Kari took it upon herself to keep Frigga company, ensuring she was talking to others and going on walks to the gardens. She even gifted her a few pictures of flowers, which caused the Dowager such delight, she cried with happiness. “I would be lost without you Kari.” She smiled as she looked at a sketch Kari had done of her in the gardens tending to her roses. 

“And I you.” Kari smiled in return. 

“You should really take ladies-in-waiting you know. You need some company of your own age.” 

“I rather not, I am not a very big people person. I write often with Anya now. She is with child for a second time she tells me.” 

“Good, no doubt Princess Leila will be happy with a sibling when she is older.”

“There is pressure on Thor and I to have a child, it could mean…” 

“A royal match.” Frigga finished. “Would that be so bad?”

“If there were not compatible, yes. I would not want my child to be unhappy.” 

“Are you truly as unhappy as you state Kari?” The dowager asked. 

“Not as I once was. Thor and I no longer even attempt to try and see eye to eye, and he is far happier for it too.” 

“Do you really think that?” 

“Yes, I do.” Kari smiled sadly. “He loved me, but I was too broken from what happened with Loki, I could not give him the love he deserves, I think he realises that now.” 

“Dowager, have you seen…Ah Your Majesty.” The women turned to see Lady Sif walking up the path towards them. “I was sent in search of you my Queen.” Sif smiled. 

“What for?” Kari cocked her head slightly. 

“It would appear that Thor is looking for you.” 

Kari pursed her lips together, wondering what he could want from her. A small glint of light caught her attention and she looked to Sif’s wrist. “My goodness, that is a beautiful bracelet.” She smiled. 

Sif raised her hand, showing off the trinket with a fond smile. “Thank you, it was a gift.” 

“Ooh, it would appear the good lady warrior is smitten I would think, do you not agree Frigga.” Kari nudged the Dowager slightly, grinning widely as she teased the warrior. 

“I think you may be right.” Frigga agreed. “You deserve such happiness Sif.” 

Sif blushed slightly, clearly thinking of the one who gave her the gift. “I thank you both.” 

“When do we get to meet him? Are you to bring him to the palace?”

“I…He has been before, though not in my company.” Sif explained. 

“Oh please do not tell me it is Fandral.” Kari grimaced dramatically. The look of aversion on Sif’s face told her it was not. “Thank the Norns, I was getting scared for a moment. Do not think me cruel, Fandral is a good man, but you deserve a man of greater standing than that scoundrel.”

“How can he be both and good man and a scoundrel?” Frigga asked confused. 

“Well he has good honour on the battlefield and with his friends, but when it comes to women, he has bedded more than the vast majority of the army combined.” Kari stated. Her mother-in-law looked at her. “I may look as though I could not care less, but I have actually had to listen to nearly a century and a half of his stories at the tables. Sif, would you not agree?”

“I would have said the whole army, and he does not spare the details.”

“Oh Valhalla be blessed, Tyr and Baldr never spoke like that with Odin in my presence.” The two women laughed at her. “You best go to Thor so Kari.” Frigga smiled. 

“Frigga, did you do this, it is out of this realm.” Sif was looking at the drawing that Kari had given to Frigga. 

“No, Kari did it of me, is it not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen on paper?”

Sif looked at Kari in shock, the young Queen shifting nervously at the warrior looking at her drawing. “Thor made mention that you were into art, but I never thought…It is beyond words.” 

“Thank you. It came to me as I was relaxing under the willow over there and I saw Frigga tended to her Rhododendron’s the other day, but I thought roses the better plant to put with it.” 

“I agree, it is beautiful.” 

“Are you heading back inside Sif?” The warrior nodded. “Wonderful, let us walk together shall we?” Sif looked at her for a moment as though assessing her offer before nodding and walking along side her. “So by chance do you know what it is that my husband wished to discuss with me?” 

“I do, but I think he would rather explain it.” Sif answered abruptly, not wishing to be drawn into anything, long knowing of the situation of Thor's marriage. 

“Is it bad?”

“No your Majesty.” She answered. 

“Then there should be no issue in you telling me then.” She took a few fast steps and stopped in front of Sif, causing her to halt. “What reason has he for summoning me?” 

“He has been called to Vanaheim; there has been a small uprising there by those who oppose King Roan’s new laws against slave ownership.” Sif explained. 

“I see, so he is to go. I assume, you, the Warrior’s Three and a few regiments shall join him?” Sif nodded. “Then I have little doubt but that you will all be home so soon, I may skip one breakfast and never even notice you were gone.” She smiled. 

Sif gave a small laugh in return. “I think you may be right.” She began fiddling with the bracelet. 

“It can be difficult to ignore such a thing at first can it not?” Kari smiled knowingly looking down at it. 

“Aye, it feels heavier on my arm that my armour.” 

“That is because you are used to the armour.” Kari stated factually. “Just be careful of the lock, it can open easily if snagged.” She warned. Sif frowned at her. “I have something similar, though it is over a century old now, so a little tarnished with age. But I lost it once from not being cautious, I had to have three servants searching a whole afternoon so that it was found before Thor realised I lost it. It was he who gave it to me.” 

“Thank you for the warning. I have not seen you with anything like this.” 

“I have it somewhere, for one with so much jewellery; I tend to wear only the same few pieces most often. Mine is of sapphires though, rubies suit the gold better.” 

With that she bid farewell to Sif and walked into the throne room towards her husband. “You had her tell you?” 

“I am the Queen and Allmother; she could not keep it from me when I asked her outright.” 

“It will take about a month I think.” Thor rose from the throne and began to walk down the hall towards her. 

“I would think it would take less time, but no doubt King Roan will wish to thank Asgard for its help in quashing the old fashioned brutes.” 

“Well regardless, I am sure you will do fine in my stead.” Thor stopped and gave a small smile. 

“I am not to come?” Kari raised a brow. 

“I do not think it wise, Asgard requires someone here to care for it, you can do that.” 

“What, and not poor father dear?” 

Thor clenched his jaw slightly. “No, his health is ailing, and I would have thought him acting as King Regent would anger you?” 

“Oh I would not trust him as far as I could throw him, but I thought we were due to go to Vanaheim in the near future anyway.” 

“When the fighting is quelled, you may join us if you wish.” Thor stated plainly. “If you require assistance, mother will be here to assist you.”

“Very well. When do you leave?” 

“Immediately.” 

“I see, safe trip then.” Kari walked out of the hall, giving her husband a small nod, which he acknowledged before he went his own way.


	19. A Predicament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari finds out she is carrying child, but after not having slept with Thor in half a century, what can she do?

“And you are certain?” Kari stared back at the healer. 

“I am.” Eir looked at her sympathetically. 

“How?” 

“Every elixir has a duration period, and that one has clearly ended. His Majesty has not left you as alone as you may have thought.” Eir stated. “What would you have me do, we can deal with it now before his return if you would like, I will say nothing.” 

“No.” Kari placed her hand on her stomach. “I need some time to think.” 

“I understand; when is the king back from Vanaheim?” 

“I am not sure, those who opposed King Roan have been dealt with, and so the time he is there now is of his own choosing. Most of the army is back, it is mostly him, Loki and his friends there now.” 

“I see, well let me know what you choose to do.” 

“For now, we shall assume everything to continue.” Kari ordered. “We were long enough waiting; it is a sign from the Norn’s I would think.” 

“Of course, I shall give you another elixir you are to take every morning with breakfast; it will hopefully stave any illness and keep the child healthy.” Eir smiled. “It is odd.”

“What is?”

“I was not long here in the palace when I aided the queen in birthing Thor, now I will aid bringing his child into the world.” 

Kari gave a small smile. “Yes. I had best get back to dealing with royal matters now.” 

“You are doing well with his Majesty gone; the realms people adore you and think your judgements fair.” 

“Good, hopefully they continue to think such.” Kari smiled as she left, with the small bottle of elixir in her hand. Her heart was racing. She knew this could not end well. Thor was not a fool, to get her with child meant he would have had to lay with her, and he had not done so in many years, so how could she explain away a child? 

Kari spent the day deep in thought, trying to conjure a plan that would mean her child would be fine. It was difficult to deal with the tasks that required her attention when all she could think about was that after all her worries that she was not unable to conceive, and she had done so without intending to, however that left her with the conundrum as to what she could do. Even if she thought of a way to convince Thor to accept the child, how would Loki react? 

That was a concern in itself. Loki had never made mention of children at all, and she rarely saw him interact with children, only in the briefest of moments in passing. Thor was far more the natural father, children naturally gravitate toward him, but her decisions had meant them being a normal family would never happen. There was also the concern that the child would carry Loki’s traits physically. His black hair and green eyes were somewhat distinct; none would be so foolish as to not see it. Sighing deeply, she thought for the day of her plight. 

“You seem distracted today dear, are you not well?” Frigga asked when Kari dismissed the head of the housekeeping staff after her monthly meeting. 

“I am a bit out of sorts, but not unwell, if that makes any sense.” Kari explained. 

“It actually does.” Frigga smiled kindly. “Why do you not join Thor, Loki and the Warrior’s on Vanaheim? There was an invitation extended to you also was there not. A few days away would do you good. And maybe then they may return some time before the seasons change.” She jested. 

An idea came to Kari; it was not a great one, but not a bad one either. “Excellent idea. I think I shall have my maids ready my things.” She smiled, thanking Frigga for her wise council before heading to make the adequate arrangements. 

Kari got into the carriage with her maids and the order was given to trot off towards the Bifrost Bridge. When she arrived at the Bifrost site, Heimdall was looking around the realms. 

“My queen.” He bowed slightly. “I have been told you wish to go to Vanaheim.” 

“Well my husband is there.” She stated factually. 

“He is indeed.” 

“How did the battle go?” 

“It was nothing to him and his men, though he did sustain a slight flesh wound to the abdomen, it is long healed now.” 

“He will barely even have a scar I would wager.” 

“He is not expecting you.” 

“Good, it will be a surprise for him so.” She smiled knowingly. 

Heimdall nodded slightly before going over to the centre of the room and placing his sword in the ground. “Travel safely your Majesty.” He stated as the machine whirred to life and Kari walked forward. 

“And you keep us safe guardian.” She smiled just before she took the last step before entering the machine. 

Vanaheim was very similar to Asgard in most ways, though not as rich in gold, though to Kari that was not necessarily a bad thing. She re-entered the carriage and looked out the window as it made its way to the city, which was too far away, meaning it did not take long for her party to reach it. On seeing the Aesir royal carriage carrying the Allmother, the Vanir guards immediately allowed her pass. When she arrived at the palace door, the captain of the guard met her. 

“Allmother.” The captain bowed. “The Allfather told us nothing of your arrival. From what I gather, King Thor has gone to take a small nap.” 

“Very good.” She exited the carriage as she spoke. “He has told you nothing of my arrival because he knows nothing of it. My maids will assist with my things; I will meet with King Roan and his wife then my husband if he is available.” 

“Of course Allmother. I shall inform them of your arrival. You.” He pointed to a young lad. “Bring the Queen on Asgard’s horses to the stables this instant.” The boy obeyed, bowing to the queen before bringing the carriage driver to the stables with the horses. 

“How did all fare in the battle?” Kari asked. 

“It was more a slaughtering than a battle Allmother; they were no match for us, especially with your husband and his warrior friends.”

“Oh yes, they are truly able beings those warriors.” Kari agreed. 

“Indeed.” The captain looked at her, slightly curious as to her tone. “Will you require anything Allmother.” 

“No, thank you. I think I shall make my presence known, and then see my husband.” 

“Of course, you recall the chambers King Odin used on your last visit; there is where you will find the Allfather, their majesties are more than likely in the main hall.” 

“Perfect, thank you.” She smiled. 

“Princess Kari?” 

Kari turned to see a young girl running towards her. “Princess Ailbhe.” She smiled bending down. “Are you with your tutors or your mother?” She asked looking around. 

“She is with me.” Queen Clara smiled. “And it is no longer Princess Kari, Ailbhe, she is Allmother now.” 

The little girl looked at her in awe. “You can still call me Kari sweetheart.” She smiled at her. “Clara, it is good to see you again.”

“And you Allmother. The Allfather said you were ill of late and could not join us here, are you feeling better?”

Kara kept her face neutral. “I am indeed. I have no idea what was wrong with me though. But I decided that as I am at full health, I would join you all, I hope you do not mind?” 

“Not in the slightest. We told King Thor to send word for you to join us when you were feeling better.”

“Indeed.” Kara laughed at how Thor had lied for her not being there, not that she cared. “I best see my husband; I have missed him of late.” 

“Of course. He went to his room not too long ago.” 

“Excellent. I will no doubt not disturb his rest then.” She grinned again. “Goodbye for now little Ailbhe, I will see you at dinner and we shall catch up then no doubt.” The young girl nodded excitedly. “Queen Clara.”

“Allmother.” The other queen smiled as she bowed. 

“How hard is it to say such a title to me?” Kara laughed. 

“Odd, I will admit, but you are worthy successor.” 

“I thank you, but I think that debatable.” 

Kara walked to the rooms she was told her husband would be in with the assistance of a maid. With a smile of gratitude, Kara walked in without knocking. Inside Thor, Lady Sif, Loki and the Warriors were talking across from one another one the sofas in the living area. On seeing Kara, Sif rose to her feet immediately and bowed, causing Thor and the others to turn. 

Thor stared blankly at his wife. “I thought you were staying in Asgard.” 

“I was told by you I could join you after the battle won. It is won is it not?” 

“Aye, it is.” 

“And according to Queen Clara, were I to recover from my illness, of which I myself I was not aware I had, I was told to come, is that true.”

“Indeed it is.” 

“So here I am.” She smiled, at him. . 

“I think it best if we let you to get settled your majesty.” Sif bowed, giving the others a single look to get the to follow suit, the all rose and left, leaving the monarchs alone. Loki had given Kari a concerned look for a moment before leaving, which she gave a small smile to. 

Once they left, Kari spent a moment assessing Thor's demeanour before giving a genuine smile. “You seem so at ease husband.” 

“I am enjoying not having to deal with court.” 

“Ah, yes. Well you have missed nothing of any note since your departure, other than Tyrson arguing with regards the land divisions again.” 

“Please tell me you are saying that to annoy me.” 

“Sadly not, though it is hopefully dealt with for good.” 

“How did you manage that?”

“I may or may not have threatened to have him publically castrated by a ravenous wolf should he annoy me, or indeed you with such nonsense again.”

“You are a fearsome creature.”

“It’s true, it’s true. Now, Queen Clara told me you came here for a nap, so take it, I am going to get changed and meet her and Princess Ailbhe for a walk.” She smiled as she watched her maids bring in her clothing. 

“Why are you here Kari?” Thor asked; his tone neutral. 

“I expressed a wish to come here when you were leaving did I not?” Thor gave a small nod and said no more. She gave as genuine a smile as she could. “Now enjoy some rest.”

Kari enjoyed herself as she spent the afternoon playing with the youngest Vanir princess in the gardens, giggling and laughing with her as the child hid behind different walls, statues and shrubs and Kari pretended not to see her and feigned shock every time. 

“You are a natural mother Allmother; no doubt you and King Thor will be eager to have your own children when everything settles down from the coronation.” Queen Clara smiled. 

“You only say such things with five children of your own so that they will have playmates.” 

“My children would be too old for yours. Would you believe Ásvaldr joins his father in court now?” 

“Already, Norn’s I must be getting old.” Kari half joked. “Who knows what the Norn’s will decide for us.” 

“Very true.” Clara acknowledged before looking to the large clock in the courtyard. “We should join the others now for dinner.” 

“Yes, I have yet to see your dear husband and other children since my arrival.” 

“My brood will be so happy to see you, especially Mina. She adores you so greatly.” 

“Both your daughters seem to share that trait, whatever great thing I have done to deserve their affections.” Kari smiled as Ailbhe insisted she carry her in her arms. 

They just entered the main hall when they were met by the Aesir party. “Ah, Allmother.” Volstagg bowed, the others following suit.

Kari frowned slightly, still not entirely used to Thor's friends treating her in such a manner, though she understood it was protocol, it still seemed odd.

“Are you all heading to the dining hall?” She queried. 

“Indeed.” Fandral answered. “Will you be joining us?” 

“I think it best if I do so now. Where is Thor?” 

“Still in your chambers.” Loki stated; his tone almost cold. 

“I see, well perhaps someone should go back and wake him. Who is on rota for today to awaken the big grumpy bear?” 

Ailbhe erupted in giggles. “King Thor is not a bear, he’s a person.” She stated factually. 

“If you ever hear him snore and you would beg to differ.” Kari retorted earning laughs from the warriors, who knew well she spoke the truth; Loki remained silent, with his jaw clenched. “Ailbhe, you need to release me so that you can go with your minder.” She smiled kindly to the child. 

“But I wanna stay with you.” She whined, gripping in tight against her. 

“I am not going anywhere soon; we can spend more time together tomorrow.” She offered as an incentive. Seeing it as a fair bargain, the child released her after a tight embrace and went to her carer, Queen Clara saying her goodbyes as she too left. 

“You are so natural with children, my own adore you also.” Volstagg commended. “As do Hogun’s.” The quieter warrior nodded in agreement. “You and Thor are well suited to being parents.” 

Kari gave a smile in return but said nothing. Looking to Loki, she noted his mood declining visibly by the second. “So, let us make our way to the hall, Sif would you be so kind as to go to the chambers and do something to get Thor to get out of that bed.” 

“Such as what exactly?” Sif chuckled. 

“I am not sure, throw a jug of cold water on him, toss the mattress to the floor with him still on it, release a wild boar in the room, or a bull, anything that comes to mind really.” Kari shrugged indifferently. 

“You are a cruel woman to do such a thing to her husband, Allmother.” Fandral exclaimed dramatically.

“Be glad I was not the woman chosen for you so Fandral.” She stated. “So what news is there with you all?” She asked as Sif made her way still laughing to the chambers and Kari, the warriors, and a morose Loki made their way to the hall. 

The meal was a pleasant affair. She sat next to Thor, who spoke loudly and often, as was his natural way. Throughout the meal she ensured their wine goblets were next to one another, purposely making it that Thor unknowingly drank both, while she feigned drinking at all. She attempted to speak with Loki, but his replies were simple and to the point, not allowing much room for conversation. 

“I hear Ailbhe was all but attached to your hip this afternoon Allmother, I hope my youngest was not an inconvenience to you.” King Frederick stated as he took a drink from his own ale tankard. 

“Not at all, she is the most adorable little thing, I have a great fondness for her, and indeed your other children.” Kari smiled in return. 

“There is none that cannot find that child endearing.” Thor agreed. 

“I would think she would all but go home with you both.” Clara joked. “Before your arrival Allmother, she was attached to the Allfather.” 

Kari turned to Thor and gave a smug smile. “It would appear then that I am favoured over you then.” 

Thor gave a deep chortle. “And pray tell wife, what is the proof of that?”

“She wishes for my company tomorrow, not yours. It appears you have been replaced.” 

“We shall see.” Thor gave a wink and a laugh, his increasing inebriated state causing him to enjoy the banter with his usually distant wife. 

Due to her constant switching of the drinks, Thor became quite drunk, and Kari found herself having to feign a slightly intoxicated state also so to add credibility to her pretence that she had actually drank the contents of her goblet. By the end of the night, she had had a pleasant evening, but Thor was slightly worse for wear. It took Loki and Volstagg to assist him back to their shared quarters. 

As soon as they arrived back, the pair placed Thor on the bed, where it did not take much time for him to drift to sleep. “Will you be alright dealing with him?” Volstagg queried, looking at his drunken friend, knowing their servants were gone to bed for the night. 

“He will sleep it off.” Kari dismissed. “This is not the first instance of such.” 

“Indeed not, goodnight your Majesty.” He bowed and left, leaving Kari and Loki to look at one another. 

“You never mentioned you were coming.” Loki commented. 

“I had not planned to.” 

“So what changed?” 

“It’s complicated.” 

“Isn’t everything. Where will you sleep?” 

“I will sort myself, I always do.” She smiled at him, but he did not return the gesture. “Is there something the matter?” 

“I am not sure, is there?” Loki challenged. 

Kari thought to tell him her reason for coming for a moment, but decided against it. “Good night Loki.” 

“Good night.” He responded before walking out the door abruptly. 

Kari was unsure what Loki’s issue was, but she had not the time to think about it then. She turned to look at her husband and took a deep breath as she walked over to the bed. 

She had been forced to undress an unconscious Thor more than once before, so she was somewhat capable at achieving it. Soon she had him in only his underwear. “Kari?” Thor groaned sleepily. 

“Yes Thor?” She replied, knowing well he would not recall anything she said in the morning, he never did.

“Why are you so cold to me?”

Kari swallowed as she began to untie the dress she was in. “I have no choice, it was the only way.” She answered sadly.

Thor mumbled back something incoherent, so she knew he was gone back to sleep fully again; so she continued with her simple yet horrible plan. In all the years of her deception, what she was about to do was the first time she felt truly guilty. But as she thought of the child growing within her, she knew she had little choice. It needed her as its mother to protect it, and she would do so by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fiction, what I write in this is not in anyway to be taken as advice for something like this. NEVER EVER do something like this to someone, it is the cruelest thing in the world to ever do. I actually know people, my own father included that this was done to. Seriously, don't do it!


	20. The Morning After The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor wakes to a sore head and a naked wife next to him, and what happens when Loki walks in on the same scene.

Thor woke to find himself with a dry mouth and a sore head. He could not recall drinking more than usual the night before, but clearly he had drunk more than he thought he had. To his shame, he could not recall how he made his way back to his rooms either, he only recalled laughter, food, drink and dance. Shifting slightly to get out of the bed and make his way to the bath chambers, he froze as he came to a realisation. 

He was in bed, naked. Which in itself was not noteworthy, when possible, he chose not to wear anything in bed, but against him, as naked as him, was another, her legs intertwined in his, her body against his, and his arm around her. The quiet muffled sighed against his chest above his heart caused him to frown. He knew it well. 

“Kari?” His voice croaked slightly. Kari frowned in her sleep, but only curled up closer to him. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand and cursed how his head ached, but also his lack of memory as to the happenings of the previous evening. 

Thor scoffed as he came to the realisation that he was asking himself how he ended up naked in bed with his young beautiful wife, there would be very few men that would ever question such a thing. With her naked thigh was over his own, it told him that they must have fallen asleep soon after they had completed, otherwise there was no explainable reason for their current state. 

Feeling Kari’s fingers gently graze his chest as she twitched told him that she was stirring. He wondered how she would react. It was her idea to cease trying for a child, and with her taking Eir’s elixir and moving out of their shared chambers, she sent a very clear message of not wanting him to touch her. This would surely only cause issues with her. 

Thor looked down at his wife to see her looking directly back at him as though gauging for his reaction to their situation. “I’m sorry.” He found himself saying the words he repeated more often in his marriage than morning salutes. 

“Actually, I am the one who should be issuing the apologies, this was my doing.” Kari informed him as she began to draw back from him, taking a sheet with her so to keep herself covered, Thor cocked his head slightly, still not recalling what happened, or why Kari would have instigated something, especially after so long of showing no interest in such with him. “I got you undressed when we returned here, then rather than choosing to sleep in another spot, I got into bed with you.” 

“And things naturally led on from there?” Thor assumed, Kari nodded, choosing not to correct him. “Well I suppose after so long, and the alcohol consumed.” 

“There is no excuse, you were far drunker than I, and I should have taken better control of things.” 

“You are only Aesir Kari.” Thor shrugged. “I need a drink.” He groaned his mouth still dry. 

“Is that not why you are in this state?” 

“Of water I mean.” He moaned, bemused by her little joke. Sighing, he looked at Kari for a moment before getting out of the bed. “I think that I enjoyed last night.” 

“You think?”

“From what I recall, we had quite a pleasant time in one another’s close company, more so than we have done in years, joking and laughing. I have missed that; we should do it more often.” 

“Kari took a deep breathe. “Thor, I…” Her tone was saddened. 

“Why are you always so cold to me?” He asked. “I understand that I have wronged you, and I know that you will never forgive me for what I did, but…”

“I did forgive you.” Kari interrupted. 

“What?”

“I forgave you long ago.” 

“When?” 

“About forty nine years and nine months ago. I was upset for a short while but I understood after the initial insult why it happened, and I most certainly saw your remorse so I got over it.” 

“But you stated you never would.” 

“At the time I stated such, yes, but I was angry.”

“So why have you continued to remain so distant?” 

Kari was saved from answering Thor's question when Loki walked into his brothers chambers. “Have you any plans to rise today, it’s just…” He paused staring between Thor and Kari. Thor stood next to the bed as naked as then day he came into the world, while Kari wore only a sheet around her that was nigh on transparent, telling him that she was wearing nothing beneath. “I think I will leave you to it. I shall speak with you later.” He stated plainly, walking out the door again. 

Kari’s heart had almost ceased working when Thor began to ask why she was so cold to him since her forgiving him. She had begged the Norn’s that they would get off the topic, but she regretted her prayers when Loki entered and his eye fell on her. He looked equal parts infuriated and heartbroken. His comment, she knew was not meant for Thor, but for her. It took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to chase after him and explain what was happening, of how it was only a guise to explain away everything, how she had not actually done anything but gotten undressed and simply lay next to her snoring husband.

“Clearly it is later than I assumed, we had best get dressed.” Thor had obviously become sidetracked by Loki’s interruption and walked to the bathroom, blissfully unaware of Kari’s inner turmoil. 

Loki was nowhere to be seen for much of the afternoon. The princess’s Ailbhe and Mina had remained close to Kari all day, not leaving her much space to think or even sit. She was constantly on the lookout for Loki, but he did not appear. After a while she, the princess’s and Queen Clara were joined by Thor, Frederick and the Vanir princes. She laughed and played with the younger ones, along side Thor, who too cherished the interactions with the youths. Kari laughed proudly as Ailbhe declared her preference to her over Thor, while Thor feigned hurt. 

“If it is any consolation little one, I think most any would prefer Kari to I.” Thor chuckled, looking at Kari with a large smile. She gave a small one back on response. 

“I think Queen Kari is a little sad.” Ailbhe looked up at Kari in concern. “King Thor, you should give her a hug, because that will make her feel better.” The child instructed. 

Thor gave an apologetic smile to Kari but did as the child demanded and embraced his wife. Kari gripped him close to her for a moment before letting go again, in need of some comfort, earning her a very concerned look from Thor. 

“As much better as that made me feel, oh great little healer that you are Ailbhe, I must excuse myself for a short time, I am not feeling too well.” Kari gave a nod to all present and made her way back to the chambers, feeling odd. 

She opened the chambers door and dismissed the staff, telling them all to return in an hour to wake her. They complied and left. 

She then made her way to the bedchamber and collapsed on the bed, an unsettled feeling in her stomach making her groan. It was still far too early for her to feel nauseous from the child, so she knew it had to be something else. 

“You look sickly sweet together, both clothes and unclothed.” 

Kari turned her head to see Loki standing by the door, his tone and face telling her of his inner rage.

“It is not what you think.” She began. 

“Really, because I think I came in here today to see you in all your glory, him too I might add and since I doubt there is such a thing as strip chess...” 

“Loki.”

“And then in the garden, your adorable display as a happy husband and wife, playing around with children.” He was almost shaking. 

“Please Loki, I need to tell you something.” 

“I don’t want to hear it. I got divorced from Lena because of my love for you, to prove it, to not even lie with her, and you spit that back in my face, and for what? Are you that desperate for him? Am I not good enough for you, that him drunk out of his mind means more to you than me, than the love I thought we shared.” 

“Loki…” Kari found herself on he verge of tears.

“What, it’s your duty? Are you going to state you were drunk, you and I know the latter is not true, because I watched your little wine goblet stunt, I know that throughout the night, you did not drink a drop. I thought it was because you wished to get him so drunk he did not notice you missing as you spent the night with me, but instead, you sober, got into bed with him inebriated.”

“I had to.”

“You…” Loki looked at her in anger and disgust. “I cannot listen to this, I am done. I can do the same you know, I get that I am not seen to be as good looking as Thor, but I too can get ample attentions and women into my bed.” Loki glared hatefully at her as he turned and stormed out the door. 

“What, no. I didn’t…” But he was gone. “I did it for the baby, our baby.” She whimpered to the empty room.


	21. Returning To Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari feels unwell so goes to the Vanir healer, as Loki makes good on his threat to capture the attentions of another.

Kari felt as though her world had imploded. Loki had spent the evening laughing and lavishing King Gaufrid’s youngest sister with his attentions and purposely ignoring Kari. Thor gave her confused glances often, not sure how Kari was actually feeling with regards their activities the night before, she had been dismissive of them in the morning, but as the day went on, she seemed to become more morose. He was sitting with his friends and Gaufrid, discussing the great hunting terrain of Vanaheim, and how they would return the invite to him and his family to go to Asgard for more of the same. 

Kari had barely eaten during the dinner, only consuming what she believed ample to maintain herself and indeed her child. Not wanting to draw attention to herself, she walked over to her husband and his group, but rather than sitting beside Thor, she placed herself instead between Volstagg and Sif. 

“How has Asgard fared since our departure other than not falling into the abyss, anything of scandal in the court?” Sif asked. 

“Nothing of great note really. Odin fell into an Odinsleep for two days, and woke again in miserable humour. Frigga is keeping an eye on everything and court is full of the usual complaints. Though I do believe she is beginning to wish your return.” She stated to Thor. 

“We will leave in two days. It is not fair to expect her to worry both for father and the realm, she has had her time of dealing with such things, it is her time to relax and enjoy herself as much as she can.” Thor stated, knowing how taxing the role of King Regent was. He looked to Kari. “I know you may have wished to stay longer, I’m sorry.” 

“I must confess, your mother sent me with the idea of me hurrying you on slightly.” Kari admitted. 

“I thought you stated you came because of your own desire to do so.” 

“I did wish to, but I was concerned about leaving everything to her, however she insisted I should come, but she suggested so with dual intentions.” She explained. 

“I see. Well we shall depart then so.” Thor looked around. “Where is Loki so that we may tell him? Is he still with Princes Caoimhe?” 

“They exited the hall in each others company not too long ago.” Fandral stated with a grin. “It appears that the failure of his marriage was simply a result of an incompatible wife.”

“Good, I was getting worried for him.” Thor stated with a pleasant tone. “Kari, you have seemed ill all day, I think it best for you to go to a healer.” Thor looked at his wife, who was even paler than she had been earlier across from him. 

“Yes, I think it best if I do. I am not sure what is wrong with me.” She rose from her seat slightly unsteadily and went to walk away. 

“I will escort you.” Thor rose from his seat.

“It’s not necessary.” She dismissed. 

“You almost fell over just standing up, I do not think it right for you to go by yourself.” He insisted. Too unwell to argue, Kari said nothing else as they left the hall together. “I will not go in with you, I just do not like how pale you have been today, I would not want you to faint in the hallway by yourself.”

“Thank you.” She gave a weak smile in gratitude. 

They said no more to one another as they made their way to the Vanir healing rooms, Thor leading the way, having required them after the battle. When they arrived, he gave her another concerned look. “If it is something serious, have me called for.” 

“I will have Helena call for you if it is, though I fear it may just be tiredness or something else menial.” She swore as she walked in, not sure why Thor would care, hoping that her actions last night had not given him false hope for them again; she thought she had quashed that. 

The Vanir’s chief healer bowed on seeing her. “Allmother, how may I assist you?” 

“I need your word that you will not say anything of what I tell you.” Kari ordered authoritively, realising before that none ever questioned her when she used such a tone. 

The healer nodded. “Of course, you have my word.”

“I am with child, my husband does not even know as I am not yet far enough along to feel unwell, yet the past day I have been very ill. I need to make sure it is nothing that may harm the child.” 

“Of course.” The healer smiled. “It is better not to tell any until the symptoms begin anyway. I assume Eir knows.” Kari nodded as she went to lie on the soul forge and allowed the healer look over her. “You’re right, the child not yet a month developed, you should not be feeling ill from it yet, from what I can see there is no physical reason for your being unwell.” She thought for a moment. “You remained in Asgard when the Allfather first arrived, did you not?”

“Yes, I only arrived yesterday.” 

“So you have been dealing with matters there in the absence of the Allfather.” Kari nodded. “You are just overstressed Allmother. You should be resting yourself and your child. I would suggest getting more rest and telling the Allfather in the near future too so he does not have you dealing with such strenuous matters again.”

“I was not aware myself of the child at the time of his leaving.” Kari confessed. “I wish to tell him on Asgard, his name’s day is approaching and it would be a superb surprise for that.” 

“Wonderful.” The healer beamed. “A fantastic gift, please have Eir check you over again before that date.” Kari nodded. “The child seems to have inherited its grandmother’s gift of seidr, it is protected by it, which is a good sign that it is going to strong.” 

Kari bit her lips together. Loki had given his child his gifts, would he even care? Would he even want to know? She thought of him with Princess Caoimhe and she felt her heart breaking more. She gave her best false smile, thanked the healer and left. 

When she got back to her chambers, she had Stefan inform Thor that she was retiring for the evening on the healer’s orders. Thor’s response was to return to the rooms himself and inform her that a messenger arrived from Asgard to state that Odin had fallen into Odinsleep again and Eir did not think it possible for him to awaken any time soon. Thinking of his mother, he insisted that they return to Asgard as soon as possible, but on hearing that Kari was told to rest, he decided to do so in the morning. 

The warrior’s were informed, as was Loki, however the younger prince requested he be permitted to remain on Vanaheim for the foreseeable future and only be called upon to return if things worsened, which Thor permitted. 

That night Kari remained in the bed by Thor, but was so tired and worn, she did not stir throughout the night, and stayed over to one side, which Thor respected. 

The following morning, the staff prepared their luggage while Thor and Kari had breakfast with the Vanir royals one last time. Ailbhe remained next to Kari’s as she ate, the child saying she wished they would remain longer. 

When it came time for them to go back to the spot where Heimdall would open the Bifrost for them, the child began to voice her upset again. “You will have Loki to keep you company a little longer.” Kari smiled sadly, looking to the raven haired prince. 

“He doesn’t play with us like you and King Thor do.” The child pouted. 

“I’ll have to have a word with him.” Thor winked, earning giggles from Ailbhe. 

Loki glanced at Kari sadly as he stood beside princess Caoimhe. “I would not be as good with children as my brother I would think.” 

“There is only one way to rectify that Loki.” Thor countered. “The day will come you will have some of your own, what will you do then?” 

“That is different, they will be mine.” Loki shrugged. Kari stared at Ailbhe, her heart telling her to tell him, her head reminding her it was not a good idea. “Safe journey to you all.” 

“And enjoy yourself here brother.” Thor grinned. “Heimdall?” With that; the sky lit up and they found in the golden sphere of the Bifrost once more. “How is father?” Thor asked the guardian. 

“No change your majesty. He sleeps and your mother frets.” 

“Then we chose to do the right thing and return. Are the horses outside?”

“Yes, they arrived not too long ago.” Heimdall informed him. “They await you.” 

“Will you ride back or take the carriage?” Thor asked Kari.

“Carriage.” She stated quickly, he frowned at her. “I still feel ill.” 

“Very well, when you arrive back, head to father’s rooms.” Kari nodded as he mounted and she entered the carriage. 

She watched as he galloped back the bridge with the warriors and Sif. She thought of Loki on Vanaheim, and his new interest in Caoimhe, she knew what she had to do. She had to do with him as she had with Thor, and let him go. This time thankfully would not require the drastic measures she had needed with her husband as he remained away himself. 

It broke her heart, she knew she should hope he would be happy with Caoimhe, but she loved him with all her heart, and it was clearly not enough. She wanted to write him and explain, but she knew there was a more than likely chance he would never even read it, or it could be read by another, so she dismissed the idea, instead choosing to focus on something else, knowing it was futile. Her body was going to begin to alter soon with the constant reminder of him growing within her. Closing her eyes so her maids would not notice, she begged her tears to remain at bay.


	22. Family Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari goes to Eir to check over the child as Odin awakens, meaning an accidental revealing of her condition.

Odin did not awaken, he remained in a constant sleep, Loki had not returned from Vanaheim and soon it was the day before Thor's names day. Kari had been feeling ill nigh on constantly for nearly a month. Eir’s elixirs did little against the seidr protected child. She lay still as Eir checked her breasts, which had become tender as they prepared to fill with milk to sustain the child, then she had Kari remove her dress, her stomach had not began to round yet, but the healer was able to press in slightly to feel where her uterus was placed. 

“It is going to be a strong child, it is growing well.” The healer smiled. “Your body is adapting well for it also.”

“I have been as sick as Hel!” Kari argued. 

“Yes, meaning it is powerful enough to withstand one of my potions. If it is a son, it will be a terrifyingly strong ruler for the realm, and if it is a daughter, she will have no man mess with her.” 

“Is that not what every mother would want?” Kari smiled, affectionately placing her hand on her lower abdomen. 

There was a knock on the door, but before Eir could even tell the knocker to wait; it opened, revealing a slightly panting Thor. “Eir, father has awoken, I… Kari?” Kari watched as Thor looked at her stomach, where she still had her hand. “What is going on?” He looked between the healer and his wife. 

“I think it best if you go deal with Odin Eir, I need to speak with my husband.” Kari sat back up. Eir looked between the pair and nodded, and with that she walked out the door to Odin’s chambers.

“Kari, are you…?” Kari looked at him and nodded. “But the elixir?” 

“Only lasts fifty years apparently. I had not been made aware of that nugget of information.” 

“So on Vanaheim when we…” Kari closed her eyes for a moment before nodding. “And you wish to….” 

“Wish to what?” 

“Keep it?” 

Kari stared at him. “I went through the turmoil of fearing that I could not have children, I now have proof to the contrary. I am sicker than I ever thought possible, but according to Eir, that will only last a few more weeks.” 

“So you, I mean we are, to be parents?” Thor's tone was cautious. 

Kari nodded. “I’m sorry, this is less than ideal.” 

“It’s not that. I… Never mind.”

“You’re happy?” Kari found herself frowning; she knew Thor's emotions almost as well as he did. 

“I am actually.” Thor started to chuckle. “A child Kari, I was beginning to think it not possible, but a child, after all this time.” His grin grew. 

“I had planned on telling you tomorrow, I was with Eir today to ensure it was alright.” 

“And is it? Is the child…Norn’s a child.” He shook his head. “I am getting sidetracked. Is it alright?”

“According to Eir, it is strong, and it possesses some seidr, so anything I take to try and alleviate illness is not working, and it is growing well.” 

Thor smiled happily. “Can we tell what it is yet?” 

“No, it is still too small.” 

“Do you have an inkling, some say a mother can sense it?” 

“I think it’s a baby.” Thor tried to give her a bemused look. “Sorry, no I don’t. I just am in disbelief that it happened so easily.” 

“Perhaps it is true what Eir stated, our stresses were impeding it happening.” Thor looked at her. “Kari, I know we are distant, but a child.” 

“I think it best if we go see your father.” Kari rose to her feet. “If we land this piece of information on him it will cause him to spring out of the bed with joy.” 

Knowing that Kari was avoiding his statement, Thor allowed it though it hurt slightly. “I doubt it, Kari; I think this might actually be it.” 

“But you said he has awoken.”

“And he has, but he cannot use his legs, he is weak.” 

“Can Eir not fix it?”

“Mother thinks not.” 

Kari remained silent. She had nothing good to say, so she elected to say nothing. In truth, the idea of him suffering, waiting to die as his body failed him make her want to giggle in delight. “Then we best go to his chambers. This will be something he and indeed your mother will want to hear.” 

Nodding, Thor looked her up and down. “Perhaps you had best get dressed.” He suggested. Kari looked down at her undressed state, she had only her underwear on and her bra pulled down from Eir checking her breasts. “They have grown.” Thor noted studying her. 

“They tend to do that when they are required for their true purpose.” She smiled, as Thor looked at her apologetically. “They look ridiculous on me.” 

“I had not thought it possible for a woman to not be pleased with larger breasts, I thought that a universal wish of your gender. Even Sif has wished for such.” 

Kari gave a small smile. “I think her perfectly proportioned, don’t you?” 

Thor gave her an odd look. “We best go to my father.” 

Kari laughed to herself at Thor's discomfort. Taking after Thor's acceptance at her change of topic, she nodded. “Yes, let’s.” 

“May I…” Thor asked excitedly as they reached the doors. 

“Tell them?” Kari guessed. “Yes, it will be something they will want to hear at a time like this. But please, don’t tell anyone else yet.” 

“Not even the warriors?” Thor was a slight bit crestfallen.

“Not yet, please.” 

“Fine, not yet.” 

Odin was sitting up in the bed, his face revealing his anger and frustration as Frigga sat next to the bed, her hand barely away from his, as though offering her comfort, but allowing him to decide whether he wished to go the last step to accepting it. They looked at Kari and Thor when they entered. 

“What did Eir say?” Thor asked immediately. 

“It is permanent, and it will worsen.” Frigga stated, her eyes beginning to water. 

“Father…” 

“I do not want to hear it and don’t ready my funeral raft just yet.” He barked. 

“I had no intentions of it, honest.” Thor swore. “I actually have some news you will wish to hear.”

Odin eyed his son suspiciously. “Where is Loki?” 

“He is on Vanaheim, and has been for some time. He has taken a liking to King Gaufrid’s younger sister it would seem.” 

“Hmph. His father is ill and he stays on another realm trying to fill some maiden’s bed.” Odin scoffed. “Well that is some news I am actually glad to hear.” 

“That is not the news father.” Thor stated dryly, irritated by his father’s attitude. Odin looked at Thor suspiciously. “Kari is with child.” 

“Finally.” Odin declared in elation while Frigga gave a knowing smile. 

“You knew?” Thor stared at his mother. 

“A seidr wielder will sense another nearby, I have sensed such from Kari recently and she does not possess it herself.” She explained as she rose to her feet and walked to Kari, cupping her face. “You have given this family a great gift.” Kari smiled back at her. Frigga looked to her stomach and smiled, and then she went to her son, embracing him and kissing his forehead. “You will be a fantastic father.” 

“I hope so.” His eyes were filled with tears. 

“You only found out yourself haven’t you?”

“Kari thought to keep it for my name’s day tomorrow. I walked in on Eir giving her a check up.” 

“So when is it to be born?” Odin’s mood lifted drastically. 

“I am not sure.” Thor looked to Kari to answer. 

“Early Summer.” Was the reply. 

“You have kept this to yourself for some time so. I may not see it born, but I can die now knowing that the family line lives on.” 

“Father do not say such things.” 

“For goodness sake boy, I am dying; there is nothing more to it.” Odin snapped, making Frigga look to the floor in heartache. 

Kari walked over to her to comfort her but the Dowager looked back with a genuine smile. “Its seidr is strong already. I feel utterly unprepared for that. You taught Loki so well, I was hoping…” 

“Of course.” Frigga beamed. 

“Any excuse for extra time with your grandchild right?” 

“Oh I warn you now; you will curse us being under the one roof with this little one.” 

X X X X X X X

Kari readied for bed, thinking of the events of the day. She looked at her stomach, feeling nauseous again. She rushed to the bathroom and was immediately violently ill. When she finished retching she thought again of Thor's joy, she felt a shudder go through her. Rising to her feet, she looked at the mirror, before turning away again. Of late her reflection was not someone she could face. Her actions with Loki had caused her to lie, only for her attempts to rectify the results of it safely to drive him away. Now Thor, the sweet, gullible fool accepted a child without question. She placed her head in her hands and wept, unable to cease cursing herself for the predicaments she was in and hating herself for causing it. 

Thor's names day went by more solemnly than was previously planned. Odin’s less than healthy reawakening had put a dampener on things and since Kari had requested they not tell anyone of the child, it would have been seen as being in bad taste. 

It was not long after her stomach began to protrude slightly at the bottom, before the swelling became more rounded. She had tried to loathe what was happening her. Loki still had not returned, and she had kept Thor at arms length, but she was not able to. Looking at it, poking it gently, she adored it. She never knew she wanted to have a child so greatly until she had actually come to carry it. All too soon, her clothes would not conceal it, and the realm would have to be told. She wondered what would occur when Loki would find out, would he rush back and demand to know what was going on as she prayed, so that way she could explain to him what had actually happened, or would that finally put an end to their affair. 

The day came that the palace seamstress was called. Upon her arrival, only Helena was in the room with them. The seamstress was sworn to silence also, and Kari explained that she needed dresses that would allow for her now growing bump. Joyfully, the seamstress began to take the Queen’s new measurements around her stomach and chest. 

“I will have two sorts of dresses made your Majesty. One to continue hiding it until you decide to alert the realm, then the other for after as it grows more.” The woman beamed. 

“I will need one specifically for the day we tell the realm, it will have to be worthy of the occasion.” She smiled. 

“Of course. Leave it with me your Majesty. Colours?” 

“The usual, plenty of blues, one or two reds, and…maybe a silver.” She ceased speaking, placing her hand over her rounding stomach. 

“No greens?” The woman queried curiously. “You always have one or two.” 

“No.” Kari bit her lip.

The other women looked at her for a moment but said no more. The seamstress bowed before congratulating her once again. Kari gave a nod and the seamstress left. 

“Your Majesty?” 

“Helena?” 

“Does this mean you and King Thor will be joining your quarters once more?” 

“No. things shall remain as they are.” Kari stated factually, putting her dress back on and turning to her maid to tie it again. 

“You cannot push him away forever your Majesty, not now there is a child.” 

“I have no choice Helena, I chose a path, and I must stick with it.”


	23. Telling Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor decides it is time to tell the realm and Loki returns from Vanaheim, will he listen to Kari?

Thor had insisted they eat breakfast together ever since finding out about the child “It’s time to tell the realm.” Thor declared one day as they ate. 

“Do you really think so?” Kari toyed with her food anxiously. 

“You cannot deny it any longer Kari, you are almost half way, and you cannot but notice your stomach.” 

“What are you implying?” She snarled. 

“That you are carrying a child and look exactly like a woman carrying said child, nothing else.” He replied cautiously. Kari giggled at his fear. “You were jesting.” 

“I have little to entertain me these days. I have to get my fill of humour somehow.” She shrugged with a grin. 

“Are you still drawing?” Kari nodded. “Good.” He smiled. “Why not get some women to keep you company?” 

“I am busy aiding your mother through what is happening with your father.” 

“When that is done then.” 

“Have you kept Loki informed with what is happening with Odin?” 

“Not really. He would not care.” 

“You should inform him, better to be right than for him to resent you if you are wrong.” 

“You are good at giving council Kari.” 

“Tell me something I did not know.” 

“Child bearing suits you.” She looked at him. “You look happier than you have in years.” 

“I am enjoying it, now the illness has passed.” 

“Good. Can you feel it moving?” 

“Only little flutterings so far, nothing to strong yet.” Thor gave a proud smile, looking to her stomach. “We best see how your father is this morning.”

Odin had become completely bed ridden, his body failing him from the stomach down. His moods were often angry and vicious, lashing out at his family for his current state. Though for once, he seemed better humoured to Kari, whose stomach he incessantly watched grow, making constant comments about bloodlines and it being about time. She said little in his company at those times. 

“How has the realm reacted to the news?” The old king asked that afternoon. 

“We are revealing it this evening father.” Thor stated. 

“Why has it not been revealed before now?” He demanded. 

“Because I wished it so, I wanted to ensure the child was safe and healthy before telling everyone.” Kari stated. “Thor will tell the Warrior’s later this afternoon when he meets with them, then this evening, the realm will know, and by morn, all the realms will know.”

Thor smiled at her consent his friends. He mouthed ‘thank you’ to her, to which Kari gave a nod. 

“And that brother of yours?” 

“I have not spoken to him in a few weeks.”

“Has he even declared intent with this Princess Caoimhe?” 

“Not that I am aware. As of the last time I spoke with him, no.” 

“Then find out and get him back here, he should be assisting you with at least some menial tasks.” The old man growled. 

“I have sent for him only a few hours ago.” 

“Good.” He groaned as he grimaced in pain again. 

Kari found herself biting the inside of her cheeks to keep herself from grinning at his discomfort. She rose to her feet. “I had best go to Edith and see if the dress I asked her to make for the revealing of the child is ready yet.” Kari explained as she walked from the room, no one said anything to her as she left. 

Kari stared at the dress that the seamstress had made, she was unsure as to whether to laugh or cry. It was turquoise, neither blue nor green, but an amalgamation of the two. There was endless irony in that choice as far as she could see. 

“I know you said no greens your majesty, but as they and blues suit you so well, I thought that perhaps you would like this as a change.” The seamstress explained. 

“It is beautiful.” Kari could not deny it, the design was intricate and it came with a beautiful shawl. 

“It does nothing to hide the child, but that is why I created the shawl also, so that you can wear it until the Allfather makes it known, then you can proudly show off the precious prince or princess.” She smiled. 

“It is perfect, thank you Edith.” 

“I am only too happy to do so your Majesty.” 

“Why do I suspect that you are itching to make some baby clothes?”

“I have already started I must confess.” Kari laughed. “Nothing too much, just a few plain pieces, I will add more when the child is born, and see whose features it seems to have more of, your or the Allfather’s.” 

Kari swallowed hard at that thought, she knew there was a chance of the child getting Loki’s black hair and green eyes, with the seidr also, perhaps it would not be possible to hide his parentage, as neither she nor Thor had the same as his brother. 

“Allmother, are you alright, you have paled somewhat?” 

“Yes, I am just a bit tired, and also stressed about tonight, I know the realm will rejoice, but I still am concerned.” 

“That is understandable, you are carrying the future of the Aesir royal family within you, that is a lot of pressure for one person. Go get some rest, I will have this brought to your rooms.” 

“Thank you Edith, I may just do that.” Kari gave a small smile as she walked out of the room and towards her chambers.

On arriving she curled up in her bed, not even noticing her maids staring at her, she was constantly worried about the child and what would happen if her terrible secret was revealed. She knew Thor would be heartbroken, but how angry would he be? He would never harm her or the child, which she was almost certain of, but it could destroy him, and that worried her. And Loki, who she could not attempt to speak with, was set to return, what way would he react. He would see her stomach now, it was hard to miss, and the evening meal would mean the whole realm was to find out. She knew his hatred for everything that happened them, would he make comments to imply the child may not be Thor's, or would he assume it was also and say something to hurt her, she did not know. As the tears threatened to fall once more from her eyes, she wondered why she did what she had done; she wished she never had never been chosen to come to the palace. 

Ever since the day her father told her of her being chosen for Prince Loki, nothing had went right, any time that seemed pleasant since that day was only to tease her so to tell her what life could possibly be like, then it was snatched away again so that she would suffer. But she was no fool, a lot of what had happened her was her own doing and she knew it. She had dragged others into it also, Thor and Loki, both blameless in her decision. If it were not for the child growing in her, dependant on her, she would have wished to never awaken from the sleep that she was falling into. 

Helena’s face was the first thing Kari saw when she woke. She groaned as she stretched, looking around bewildered before remembering the conflict that had taken place in her mind just as she began to fall asleep. 

“Your Majesty, you are being requested at the King’s Father’s chambers.” The maid informed her. 

“Fine, I’m up.” She groaned, not able to feel anything other than groggy. “Is it urgent?”

“I am not sure Ma’am. But the king seemed adamant you join them immediately.” 

Kari did not even check her hair as she left the rooms and made her way to Odin’s chambers. When she arrived she was not entirely shocked to hear arguing from within. What did surprise her was one of the voices she heard. She walked in to see Thor, Odin and Loki taking part in a three way argument. 

“You should have returned sooner.” Odin barked. 

“I told Thor to keep me posted, how am I supposed to know what is going on if he did not have the decency to at least try and tell me.” 

“I have had a lot to contend with here Loki, had you not remained in Vanaheim simply to mount Gaufrid’s sister.” 

Frigga stood close by looking upset, not knowing how best to try and deal with her sons and husband. She used be firm to the extent that even Odin would silence when she demanded it, but her husband’s illness had taken its toll on her physically and mentally also, so she did nothing but stand and watch. 

“What is going on here?” Kari demanded. Her head was aching from her own stresses, and now with Loki’s return and the impending revealing of the child. The men looked around at her, she knew she probably looked unkempt and more in line with a maid that the queen and Allmother. “I am as good as dragged from my bed by my maid to come here, thinking there was something wrong; instead I am met with three idiots arguing like boys in a training yard. Why was I awoken, and there better be good reason for it?” 

“Loki has returned.” Thor stated sheepishly. 

“Really, I would never have gathered that little titbit of information, what with him standing there next to you.” She barked angrily. “And so what if he has, you sent for him this morning for goodness sake, it cannot be a surprise, was that the reason for me being rushed here, because if it is I will murder someone.” 

“He needs to be punished for not returning sooner.” Odin stated coldly. 

“Was he told to come sooner?” Thor shook his head. “Well his is a seidr wielder, not an all-seer so how in the Nine Realms was he supposed to know to return if he was not told to. Norn’s men are brainless.” Loki gave a small smug smile. “You could have checked on your father too you know, you are not blameless in this.” She snapped at him, taking Loki by surprise. 

Kari felt a terrible pang of heartache looking at his emerald green eyes. She could see there was emotions within them he was trying to hide. Holding the shawl she had grabbed to keep her shoulders warm closer to her body, she turned to walk out the door again. 

“Where are you going?” Thor asked. 

“I am preparing for tonight, so if you are all finished acting like children, I suggest you do the same.” 

“There is a reason you were called here.” Frigga informed her. 

“Well as no one has graced me with the reason for such, I merely assumed it was to deal with the non issue the three fools were having.”

“Cease the insults.” Loki snarled angrily. “They do not suit you.” He added as he went to walk passed her. He froze as he came into close proximity to her, looking her up and down until he came to her stomach, looking at intently. “What…?” He looked at her face again, then to that of his family. “I see congratulations are in order.” His voice was calm, oddly so. 

“How can you…?” Thor began to ask. 

“Kari has never once given any sign of the ability to wield seidr. I can almost smell it from her now. There can only be one reason for such.”

“She is nearly half way.” Thor stated proudly. 

“I see, well then, I had best begin preparing for the celebrations for my nephew or niece.” He gave the false smile Kari knew all too well. “Congratulations.” He bowed to her. “You must be thrilled.” He all but spat the last word to her before walking out of the room. 

“So why was I called here so?” Kari demanded as she allowed her anger at Loki flow over to her dealing with everything else. 

X X X X X X

Kari looked at herself in the mirror. The turquoise dress suited her perfectly. Her hair was done in great detail, she looked like the Queen she was expected to be. Her stomach was protruding in a perfect bump, proclaiming to one and all she was with child. She bit her lip thinking of how Loki had reacted, he had looked at her in sheer contempt; she had to speak with him. 

Grabbing the shawl that Edith had made, she ran to his rooms. She entered without even knocking, knowing that if she did, he could teleport away. Loki turned with his hands glowing green to defend himself, as soon as he saw Kari, the glow went away. “What do you want?” 

“Loki.” The glare he was giving her stomach made her put her arms around it to defend it. “Don’t do that.” 

“That has ruined everything we had.” 

“It did not ask to exist.” 

“What you did…”

“I did what I had to do.” Kari snarled. “I had no choice.” 

“What are you on about, of course you had, going to Vanaheim, getting him drunk while pretending to be so yourself, and…and…” He shuddered thinking about it. “When you said you were not going to even come.” 

“Exactly, I had no intentions of going.” 

“So why did you go?”

“I needed to.” 

“Bull!”

“I had to.” 

“Why is that then?” He spat. 

“To explain my being with child.” 

“There is one way to explain a woman being with child.” 

“Not when she has not lain with her husband in half a century there isn’t.” 

Loki frowned. “It only takes once they say.” 

“Oh for goodness sake Loki, can you not take a hint, I had to get Thor too drunk to realise that we had not actually done anything, to protect the child, our child.” Loki’s mouth dropped open.


	24. Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki reacts to Kari's revelation, and the realm reacts to the news of a new royal baby.

“What?”

“The seidr you sense from it, can you hardly think a child could inherit it so strongly from just its grandmother do you?” 

“You are telling me that I am it’s…”

“What would be the odds that you and I lay with one another for nights on end and not get me with child, and then one time I make it seem as though I did such with Thor, I do?” Loki frowned. “Yes, I was undressed that morning, but only to convince him.” 

“So you were already with child, that is why you did not drink any of the wine.” 

“Not long after you left, my bleeding was due, it never came, so I went to Eir, and she confirmed it. So then I was forced to make Thor think it to be his. That is the sole reason for my going to Vanaheim, that and telling you of course, though I never got to do the second part.”

“Kari...” 

“And you were all over Princess Caoimhe; I know it was to upset me, and it worked by the way, I hope you got from her what you wished.” 

“I did nothing with her, I merely offered to assist her in making Fandral desist his scandalous behaviour towards her by implying there was chance of a royal match, she was all too willing to assist.”

“Fandral?”

“Well I could hardly state I wished to make my brother’s wife jealous, could I? She was all too willing to put an end to his interests in her.” 

“So you did nothing with her, even when you left together that night?” 

“Of course not, her brother would have had war were we even to imply such. And you, you did nothing with Thor?” He asked anxiously. 

“He was too drunk to even undress himself; he would not have been able to even if he wished to.” 

Loki took her in his arms. “My devious minx.” He grinned, kissing her, allowing his fingers slide over her face as she returned the gesture. 

“I had to protect our child.” 

Loki found himself looking at her stomach, which was forcing them to remain further apart than he wished to be. Cautiously, he placed his hand on it. “Its seidr is so strong.” 

“Who is to blame for that?” She looked at him with a half grin and a raised brow. 

“I…I’m sorry Kari, you tried to tell me, but I did not listen.” 

“I wanted to scream it at you. I wanted you to know. I thought to write you and tell you, but it was too dangerous, if it was to be read by any other.” 

Loki rubbed her stomach, his palm flat on it. A moment later, it was pushed slightly by a little movement from within. “Is that?” 

“It has been doing that for a few days now, but I think it knows you here now.” 

“It does, I can sense its seidr flaring slightly.”

Kari noticed the time. “We better go to the hall. Thor wants to…Norn’s it is so wrong.” 

“It cannot continue Kari, you know that.” 

“What can I to do?”

“I am not sure yet, but we cannot allow this charade to continue. Why did you not tell me before that trick with Thor?” 

“I don’t know, I panicked.”

“It complicates things for us now, but it does not mean we are without hope.” 

“Loki?” 

“We will discuss it later.” 

“But the announcement?” 

“There is nothing we can do about that my dove, it will have to go ahead. Over the next few days we will have to take considerable time to think about what we can do to rectify this.” 

“Rectify? Loki, I have destroyed everything.” 

“Darling, please, relax. Think of the child.” He kissed her head before looking to her stomach. “Our child.” 

“You know it is yours Loki, don’t you. I did nothing with him, not since you returned after the coronation, I swear.” 

“I know my dove, I knew all along I think, I just was hurting, I did not give you a chance to tell me.” 

“I should have spoken to you first.” 

“Well, we cannot change what has been, we can only fix it. Come, we best go to this feast. It will be interesting.” Kari curled her lip in disgust. “May I say, I love your dress.” 

“I did not choose the colour, but when it was presented to me, I nearly laughed and cried simultaneously.” 

“Why?”

“Because I thought of you, and I was so sure I had lost you.” 

“You will never lose me, so long as we both learn from this little error and learn to talk before doing something drastic and/or stupid. I think the colour ironic.” 

“It is accurate though, this child is of us, and the colour, the mixing of ours also.” 

“As though the Norn’s decided it.” He agreed, kissing her one last time before they left his chambers. “My beautiful Kari, you are all the more precious to me now. Ready?” 

There were cheers of joy and elation from all gathered when Thor declared that Asgard was to have an heir. The warrior’s though they had been told by their friend earlier in the evening, were louder than any others. Thor looked at Kari proudly as she nodded her head and smiled, her hand placed protectively over her child, who seemed unsettled within her. The meal was filled with chitchat, mostly with Frigga asking Loki of his time on Vanaheim. Kari too listened as Loki regaled them of what happened after their departing. 

“Did you get used to the young ones?” Thor asked with a smile. 

“No, had I known what I would be returning to, I would have made more of an effort. A letter would not have killed you brother.” 

“I am not one for writing.” 

“Yes, I have noticed. None the less, I can sense the little ones seidr. As you are as about as proficient in that as you are in, well most everything else, it appears I will be an integral part to its rearing.” He grinned.

“Of course you will Loki.” Kari smiled. “From what Frigga tells me, the first few years are the hardest when it will not know how to control it itself, we will need all the help we can get.” 

“Indeed.” Thor seemed less than impressed at the idea. 

“Are you really not pleased by my being around the child Thor?”

“What happened with Princess Caoimhe dare I ask?” 

“Oh, that was to get Fandral to leave her be, she asked, I obliged.” 

“So why remain there so long?” 

“What was there waiting for me here?” Loki argued. 

“Father was ill and you knew.” 

“You said you would inform me of any development, slowly dying is surely a noteworthy one, way to keep me in the loop brother.” 

“Enough, both of you, think of your mother.” Kari hissed. Immediately the two brothers ceased. “If you wish to argue, do so later, away from the prying eyes of the people of the realm for Valhalla’s sake.” 

“Indeed.” Frigga agreed. 

“And if you think that Loki will not have a part to play in the raising of this child, well then, I suggest you think again. He is your brother and the most powerful seidr wielder we are aware of. The child will require his assistance, so get over yourself and accept it.” Thor dropped his fork and Loki stared in shock at Kari’s words. “It will not be dictated to me who I will and will not have in this child’s life. I am the one, who has suffered illness carrying it, and I will be the one to endure the agony birthing it, so you can be damn sure I will have a say in who I wish to have surround it. Am I understood?” Thor nodded dumbly. “Good, now let us continue with the evening in a pleasant manner. Loki, have you heard the gender of Queen Anya’s child, a son, they are elated.”

“I had heard from King Frederick himself actually, it’s wonderful for them, they deserve such good fortunes. He was speaking with King Gaufrid while I was in Vanaheim, it was a pleasant gathering it must be said.” Loki’s mood was notably better.

“Wait, you got the Vanir and the Light Elves to the negotiation tables?” Thor asked in disbelief. 

“No, Frederick extended the hand to Gaufrid himself after the damage his father created; I merely acted as mediator by virtue that I am of Asgard, and we are allied to both.” 

“I was not made aware of this.” Thor seemed indignant. 

“I shall revert back to my previous comments with regards sending letters.” 

“Do not start again.” Kari warned, foreseeing the argument between them both reigniting. 

“When dinner is done the warriors wish for some of your time if that is alright Kari.” Thor informed her.

“Of course, I would not have expected any different.” She smiled, looking to the group of Thor's friends, who were laughing and joking among themselves. “We shall head to them as soon as I finish eating.” 

“And not when Thor does?” Loki asked with a raised brow and a grin. 

“He eats more than me in a shorter time as well you know.” 

“You are eating slower these days.” Thor commented. 

“Have you any idea what it is like to try and fill your stomach with food while there is a child pushing up against it?” Kari argued. “I don’t know how I will manage soon.” 

“I felt the same with Thor, he is his father’s son, and you are showing so greatly already, it is clear it will be a fine sized child.” Frigga beamed looking at Kari’s stomach, which for once fully displayed her condition now the realm knew. 

“I rather not concern myself with that at present, I am only grateful that seidr protected or not, this child will not be able to prevent the power of Eir’s healing stones when I birth it.” 

The meal ended, and surrounded by well wishers, Thor, Kari and even Loki made their way to the warriors who cheered and handed Thor a tankard of ale as they patted his back. 

“Just be grateful for the Dowager being there to give her wisdom on the matter. With Gertrude’s mother being on Vanaheim, the first one or two were difficult.” Volstagg stated. 

“And then it became all too easy, so you insisted on continuing to have more.” Fandral joked. 

“Gertrude and I always wanted a large brood, I refuse to apologise for that.” Volstagg stated factually. 

“Well I think it is safe to say, you succeeded magnificently on that quest my friend.” Thor patted the burly mans shoulder. 

“Quite so.” Sif agreed with a laugh. 

“So Loki, how is Princess Caoimhe?” Fandral queried. 

“All the better without Aesir men to irritate her I would imagine.” Loki replied dryly. 

“So it was not just me, that is somewhat of a comfort.” The blonde sat back. 

Loki grinned at Thor as though gloating about the supposed truth in his reason for remaining on Vanaheim. 

“So your Majesty, how are you feeling?” Sif asked, not wanting the brothers to begin an argument, which she suspected may occur if they continued. 

“Round, tired and big just about sums it up, I would think.” Kari smiled. 

“How did you manage to hide it so long, it is so obvious to see now?” 

“The trick is the best seamstress in Asgard. She is a miracle worker.” Kari raised her chalice in respect. 

“That’s not wine or mead is it?” Thor asked in concern. 

“Yes Thor, she has been drinking all evening, can you not tell?” Loki rolled his eyes, before looking at the golden liquid in the chalice and scrunching his nose in disgust. “It smells like apples.”

“It is crushed apples.”

“You mean like what children drink?” Thor asked in disbelief. 

“Can you suggest something else I can drink?” Kari challenged. “I am working with very limited options here.”

“Have you yearned for anything?” Volstagg questioned. “With Gertrude, it is always fruits. Though guessing which fruit it was she wanted on any given day was challenging, seeing as she never decided to share with me which it was.”

“I have not noticed.”

“Duck eggs.” Thor answered immediately, earning a bewildered look from Kari. “You have had them for breakfast every day recently, and the one time you were informed the kitchen had none, you went into a rage until a servant was sent to the market.” 

“I was not as bad as you make out; I merely had someone go retrieve some.” 

“You were like a berserker, father heard you in his chambers.” Loki was the only one brave enough to laugh aloud.

Kari gave her husband a glare. “Thor, for your own safety, I suggest to desist, she does not look pleased.” Loki suggested. 

“Listen to the voice of reason.” Kari suggested through gritted teeth. Thor obeyed and said no more. 

“The Dowager must be thrilled.” Fandral stated. “Her reaction when it was declared was one of utter delight.” 

“A grandchild is something to give her hope at this hard time.” Kari agreed. 

“So Odin continues to worsen?” 

“Aye, it will not be long now Eir thinks.” Thor answered. “He will not make the child’s birth, and he knows it.” 

“It’s odd to think a man so strong being killed in such a way.” Volstagg shook his head.

“In the end, the only thing stubborn enough to kill him seems to be himself.” Loki commented, which earned mutters of agreement from the others. 

The rest of the evening was spent speaking of more pleasant topics, mostly to do with the impending arrival of Asgard’s prince or princess, with many lords, lady’s and even generals coming over to congratulate the couple. After a while Loki excused himself, stating to be tired. He bowed to his brother and Kari, and saluted the others before he walked out of the hall. 

“Is it true he assisted in the trade talks between Vanaheim and Alfheim?” Hogun queried. 

“You were aware of it?” Thor was slightly annoyed that his friend had not told him that. 

“I heard rumours, nothing more.” 

“Apparently so. I have sent a messenger to both Kings Frederick and Gaufrid and I await their statements.” 

“If what he states is so, he may well be the reason there is peace on the Nine Realms, for now at least.” Kari informed them with a smile. 

Thor frowned. “The God of Mischief, Lies and Chaos; a peace ambassador, who would have thought such a thing to have been possible?” 

“There is little chance.” Sif dismissed. 

“You have always been one to give people a chance Sif, extend the same to Loki.” Kari smiled as she rose to her feet. “I can barely keep my eyes open, this child is tiring me far too greatly, I will see you all tomorrow no doubt, but until then, have a pleasant evening.” The warrior’s bowed and she left. 

When she came to the hallway, she was surprised to see Loki awaiting her. “I would have thought you would have taken longer.” He grinned. 

“If you thought that, why are you waiting here?” 

“I may or may not have been eavesdropping on mother speaking with General Tyr.” 

“I see, anything of note?” 

“Only the old fart congratulating her on the impending birth of her grandchild, and of course, adding that were it a boy to have father’s name in it some how, you know as a tribute to the great man.” Loki looked as though he was doing everything in his considerable power not to laugh. 

“Over my maggot riddled, mutilated corpse!” Kari snarled. Loki chuckled. “Is my reaction somewhere near what you assumed?” 

“Very much so. So breakfasts with Thor?” 

“His idea, I assure you. I am not sure why though, we talk of little.” 

“I think he is proud of ‘his’ little accomplishment.” Loki grinned wickedly. 

Kari huffed out a small breath of laughter, but said no more, with regards it. “I think it best if I head to my chambers.” She smiled as she continued on. 

“I shall join you there soon my darling.” Loki whispered in her ear as she passed by him.


	25. Odin's Deathbed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari and Loki get into a routine and Odin passes away.

“So, what will we do with our little conundrum?” Loki had his hand placed carefully on Kari’s swollen stomach as he spoke, it glowed light green. 

“What are you doing?” She demanded, looking as his seidr seemed to seep into her. 

“I am interacting with my child, nothing to fear.”

“Inter…is it reacting?”

“Can you not feel it? Our little ones seidr is connecting with mine. It has no idea that it is communicating, it is not able to understand such yet, but it very much trying to communicate on some level with me.” 

“It just feels like the weird flutterings I always feel when it makes small movements.” Kari placed her hand on Loki’s. “Norn’s what will we do?” 

“We need to think. Perhaps we could run, both of us this time.” 

“If it was before now, I think he would have just left it, but with the child, he would not leave it rest.”

“We could tell him, but in all honesty, I am unsure as to how he would react. He may not take it well.” 

“You think? Norn’s what have I done?”

“Please stop blaming yourself darling, you are stressing the child.” Loki began to kiss behind her ear down to her neck, earning him a gasp from Kari. “Has Eir stated whether it is safe for you to do certain things at present?”

“Yes.” Kari slipped her hand behind her to pull them against one another. 

“Wonderful.” He grinned, sliding his hand down to pull up the short hem of her nightdress, exposing her naked ass, which he took in his strong hand. “Norn’s woman, you are divine.” He placed her leg over his thigh before slipped his hands around to the front of her body, relishing in the dampness he could feel at the apex of her legs. “So wanton already?” 

“Do not tease me Loki, I warn you.” Kari turned her head and nipped his bottom lip. 

Loki chuckled before positioning himself at her entrance, and pushing in slowly, but firmly. “No teasing is it?” 

“Fuck!” 

“Language darling.” Loki pulled her thigh up and began to thrust slowly in and out of her. “You have missed me it seems.” 

“Yes.” Her nails dug into his thighs, causing Loki to his in painful pleasure. 

“I have missed you too my darling. Every night I thought of you, and most days too.” 

“Loki.” Kari could not control how her legs shook in pleasure. 

“I was a fool to not let you explain.” His thrusts became stronger as he attempted to get her to reach her pleasure before he took his. 

“Please…please…Loki!” Kari shouted him name as her body spasmed around him. 

As though they were synced to one another, Loki came immediately after, biting her shoulder as he grunted his release. They lay in silence for a few moments, the sounds of their breathing returning to normal was the only sound in the room.

“I’m sorry I did not return with you darling.” 

“I’m sorry I messed everything up. If I had known about the elixir wearing off.” 

“Don’t, don’t say it Kari, don’t regret this.” His hand went to her stomach. “Don’t regret our child.” 

“But I ruined everything.”

“No darling. No you have not. Do not think such things. We will find a way to sort this.” 

“What if we don’t?”

“We will, wait and see, now rest my love. We will think more tomorrow.” 

It was barely sun up when Loki awoke, he smiled at Kari being in his arms, and their child growing in her. A child, they had created something so precious. And his witless idiot of a brother thought it his. His eyes widened as a thought came to him. If Kari gave birth to a son, none would think anything of her not carrying more children, Thor would unknowingly hand Asgard to his child, his heir. He chuckled deeply at the thought. Kari stirred next to him beginning to wake. 

“Darling, I need to be going if Thor is to join you for breakfast. I will see you later.”

“Promise?” Her voice was small, and heavy with sleep. 

“I swear. Now, get some more sleep, you are carrying our precious child in you.” Kari mumbled in reply and turned so that she now had her face against the pillow he had slept on, taking in his scent. Loki gave her a small kiss before giving her stomach one last caress and leaving her rooms. 

X X X X X X

A month passed and each day passed in the same manner, Loki stayed with Kari every night, most of which he would spend pleasuring her, then would leave in the early hours before Thor would arrive, royal duties took up most of the days, along with Kari going Odin’s chambers and forcing Frigga to go for a walk with her to the gardens, and then sometimes seeing the healer before dinner, finishing off the evening with going back to Odin’s chambers. It was exhausting, and it was taking a toll on her physically. 

“You will need to take it easy or you will be put on bed rest your Majesty, the child needs you to have your energy, but you are not permitting yourself to rest.” Eir scolded. 

“I cannot, Odin…”

“There is nothing you can do for him, if he makes the week it will be noteworthy, your concern is the child.” The healer ordered. 

Kari’s eyes widened, Odin’s health had been steadily declining, but she had not thought him that bad. “But Frigga…”

“Would not be pleased to think you put your child and yourself at risk. If you have to go on bed rest, the child may be born early, that is not something you and it need.” Eir insisted. Kari gave a small nod and said nothing more. “So nothing strenuous from now on, only small strolls, plenty of sitting, and most importantly, plenty of rest.”

“Very well.” Kari accepted, upset with it meaning an end to her and Loki’s pleasurable nights. She felt the child move, so her hand went to the spot that she had felt it nudge. “Whatever I need to do.” Eir nodded her approval. “Is he really so bad?”

“Honestly Allmother every minute he survives shocks me. I cannot see him remaining conscious after this evening.” 

“Is he in pain?” 

“Only discomfort, but pain no. I have taken care of that.” 

“Good, thank you.” Kari smiled. “And the child is fine?”

“Yes, as I stated, it is taking a toll on you, and you need to take that into account. If you continue to eat well and rest more, all will be fine. Light exercise only, the upper tiers of the gardens, and the hallways, nothing more, avoids the steps when possible.” Kari nodded. “I can tell you what gender the child is if you would like? It is somewhat of an exhibitionist it must be said.” 

Kari grinned. “I have suspected for a while. But I do not wish to know for certain until the birth, which will give me something to look forward to after the efforts of labour.” 

“Yes, I suspect you do and I agree with waiting to see.” Eir smiled in return. The healer smiled looking to Kari’s stomach. “It’s seidr will be powerful, I sense it.” 

Kari placed her hand on her stomach. “I do too. It is already so strong, it often startles Frigga and Loki.”

“They would be more attune to such things.” Eir nodded. 

The door to the healing rooms opened and Loki looked around in search of Eir, seeing her and an only half dressed Kari. “Eir, it’s Odin, he’s…” 

Eir did not wait any longer; she called on her aides and ran from the room. Alone, Loki walked over towards Kari. “Is it time?”

“I am not sure, he woke from a nap and he cannot speak, it is only groans. But he seems aware of his surrounds.” He watched as Kari righted her clothes. “The child?” He asked concerned. 

“Just a check up.” 

“And it is well?” He looked around to see if any were in the rooms other than them. 

“It is fine.” Kari smiled but she shook her head slightly to indicate not to do anything suspicious. 

“Wonderful. It is good to know the future of the realm is safe. You best ready yourself and come, mother will want you close, she depends on you so much.” 

Nodding, Kari fixed her dress and walked down the hallway. “I am to take things easier now, the child is taking too much from me.” 

“Well then, do as you are told.” Loki insisted sternly. 

“No more…” 

“I am sure we will survive a few weeks. It is already the beginning of Spring.” 

“But still…” 

“If Eir said to cease, nothing will alter that.” He leant in close to her. “I am not putting you and our child at risk.” 

“What are we going to do about Thor, and him thinking it is his?” After Loki’s initial insistence they do something, little more was said on the matter.

“We are going to do nothing.” Loki explained plainly. 

“What?” She stared up at him. 

“The child will be reared as Asgard’s future monarch, you and Thor are all but are divorced in everything but legality, and you and I will continue to live as we do.” 

“Loki, that is not a good idea.” Kari stated. “Thor…” 

“Will be glad to have a child and will badger you for no more. He has made that clear.” Kari’s expression caused him to elaborate. “He may have admitted such in front of the warrior’s. They know of the state of your marriage, and he is blessing the Norn’s for there being one child, he will ask for no more, unless you offer.” Kari scoffed. “I thought as much.” 

They finally made their way to Odin’s quarters, Loki not saying anything of the slower pace Kari took, but noticing with concern how she found it difficult to get there. 

“What did you do?” Thor demanded as they arrived, noting how Kari was out of breath. 

“I did nothing, she had to come all the way from Eir’s rooms, who, she informed me, has told her to take it easy, which is a substantial journey considering her condition.” 

“Don’t start.” Kari panted. 

“It is true, I told her to take it easy.” Eir confirmed, exiting Odin’s bed chambers. “Allmother, please listen to what I say.” She implored. 

“But Loki said he was bad.” 

“And remember what I said.” Eir argued. 

Thor looked between his wife and the healer. “Is there something wrong with the child?”

“The child no, your Majesty, the Allmother on the other hand, is a different matter. Her body is exhausted with everything that has been going on recently. The child is taking what it requires for her, but that is leaving very little for her.” The healer explained. 

“Kari, effective immediately, I am insisting you have nothing to do with throne room issues.” Thor ordered. Not even wanting to argue, Kari nodded. “Loki…”

“Obviously I will have to assist more, there has to be some form of intelligence in the room.” He grinned mischievously. Thor glared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes. “What of Odin?” He queried, turning to the healer. 

“It is time. He will lose consciousness soon, and then, it will be a matter of minutes.” Eir stated sadly. 

“Very well, Loki, you go in, mother is with him now. he cannot respond as you know, but you should at least say something to him.” Nodding, Loki silently made his way to the other room. 

“I will give you some time.” Eir bowed to leave. “Call for me when he falls unconscious.” 

“We will.” Thor promised. When the healer left, he looked to Kari. “Sit down and rest.” 

“It is more work for me to get out of one of these chairs than it is for me to stand.” 

“Why did Loki remain with you as you made your way here? I told him to return immediately.” 

“I asked him to; he heard Eir tell me to take it easy, that I needed to be careful. He was concerned.” Thor's jaw clenched slightly. “Thor, what is wrong with me being around Loki?” Kari asked. 

“He is too pleased with there being a child, he should not be.” 

“You want him to loathe the baby?” 

“I…” Thor silenced for a moment. “No, I do not want him to loathe the…the baby.” 

“Why did you do a double take at calling it a baby?” 

“I never thought of it as a baby, just as a child.” 

“Well that is all it is, a baby, and I am going to be spending time around Loki, Thor; he has strong seidr that causes the baby’s seidr not to flair as badly.” 

“Mother could help with that.” 

“Yes, and she did for a while, but she is not doing so well at present, and this situation with your father has caused her seidr to weaken. Thor please stop trying to create a rift where there is none. Do not continue what Odin started.” Thor frowned, but said no more. 

They turned to see Loki and Frigga looking at them, unsure at how long they had been listening to their conversation. “Thor, I think he wants to see you.” Frigga’s voice was small. 

Thor nodded and walked passed his mother and brother to his father’s chambers. Kari bit the inside of her lip as Loki looked at her. Frigga sat down, her hands fidgeting as she did so in anxiety. “Mother.” Loki looked to Frigga. 

“I’m fine.” 

Kari walked over and sat beside her. “It is alright not to be you know?” Frigga smiled sadly and looked lovingly to Kari’s stomach, which was getting larger by the day it seemed. 

Thor came out of the room soon after, he seemed somewhat shaken. “Is he?” Frigga asked fearfully. 

Thor shook his head. “It will not be long though.” 

Kari rose and walked into the room, the other family members were so startled by her actions; they said nothing as she walked through the doors. She walked into the room she was so sick of seeing in recent times. Odin’s rasping breaths were the only sound in the room. Walking over to the bed she looked at him. He had gotten frail and thin as time had passed and the illness had taken its toll. Looking at the once authoritative man that was her father in law, her lip curled slightly in contempt. 

Odin simply looked back at her, his eye focused on her rotund stomach. “So now you cannot even talk is it?” Kari asked, her voice emotionless, Odin could only blink slowly in response. “Then perhaps it is time you finally listen to me. It is no secret I hate you, I despise you with every fibre of my being for what you have done to me.” She snarled. Odin looked as though he did not seem to care. “All you have ever cared about is what you think was best, and for some reason; trying to punish Loki for some unknown crime. You know nothing of what was best for him, Thor, and I know you don’t care, but also me. The only time you seemed to show the least bit of interest in me is since I began to carry this child.” She indicated to her stomach as she walked closer to the head of the bed. Turning to ensure the door was still closed. “But before you ascend to Valhalla, or I would think descend to Hel, I am going to share one last little gem with you.” She leant down close to his ear and chuckled. “The child I am carrying is not Thor's heir.” Odin’s eye widened. “It is Loki’s.” 

It was at that moment one of the curtains to Odin’s balcony pulled aside and Loki walked out from behind it. “You have a truly vicious streak my dove.” He grinned wickedly, placing his hands around her swollen waist and over his growing child. “You thought you could keep us apart father. Does it give you satisfaction to see your suspicions were correct?” Odin’s breaths became even more laboured as his anger rose, before he weakly tried to cough, but was unable to. “Go call mother and Thor, he is about to leave us I think.” Loki instructed as he kissed the side of her neck again as Odin watched helplessly. 

Without saying a word, Kari turned and made her way back to the door as Loki disappeared into thin air, grinning at his father as he did so. 

“Kari?” Thor looked at her as she rushed into the room. 

“He can hardly breathe.” Thor rushed passed her and into the room, followed by Frigga, and a moment later, the false Loki fizzled away and the true on walked out from behind a pillar again and joined them, Kari slowly making her way to the main door of the chambers, alerting a servant to call Eir. When she got back to Odin’s bed chambers, Thor was standing over his father as Frigga held his hand, while Loki stood back slightly.

“He fell unconscious just after we entered.” Thor stated. “You called us just in time.”

“I sent a servant to Eir.” She informed him. 

“There is no more can be done.” Frigga wept. 

Not ten minutes later, Odin, Asgard’s greatest war king, was dead.


	26. Pregnancy Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Odin's funeral, Kari's pregnancy takes a turn for the worse.

The realm mourned Odin, but none so more than Frigga, who relied heavily on Kari for the following few days as Thor and Loki dealt with matters regarding the realm. There were dignitaries present from all the realms, including the royal families of five of them attending his funeral. Queen Anya smiled when she saw Kari barely able to stand with her large stomach. 

“It has been a trying time for you Allmother.” The elfin Queen commented. “How have you been fairing.” 

“Not well, I am at risk of bed rest at present. But Frigga…” 

“That is understandable, she has been almost like a mother to you since you came here.” The other queen consoled. 

“Thor is not taking it well either I fear, though they argued a lot since he took the throne.” 

“They were close so.” 

“Sometimes too close.” Kari commented under her breath. If Anya heard, she said nothing. 

“Forgive my interrupting.” Loki bowed to the two queens. “Kari, mother wishes for you for a moment.” 

“Excuse me please Anya.” Slowly, with some assistance from Loki, Kari was able to rise to her feet. “So, what is it?” 

“Mother is just feeling a bit lost today.” Loki explained. “She misses him. I am sure you feel the same.” 

“Indeed, it’s so sad; I'll really miss the old bastard.” Loki snorted in laughter before straightening his face again as they approached his mother. He left as Kari sat carefully next to the Dowager, who smiled sadly at her. “What is it Frigga?” she asked kindly.

“I know this is odd, and I apologise, but I feel like I need to be near my grandchild at this time.” She stated apologetically. 

“It is quite alright, so long as you know you’re stuck with me also.” Kari gave a small smile. 

“Thank you Kari, I would have been lost without you.” Frigga took her hand in her own. “You forced me to get air and look after myself somewhat.” She began. “And this baby, it is a gift from the Norn’s at this time.” 

“My bladder and back beg to differ.” 

Frigga found herself laughing. “I never missed that part. But in all seriousness Kari, you have done so much for this family.”

“Really, I think I am the reason it is no longer as it was. Loki hated Odin for what he did, I would be lying if I stated that I too did not loath him. I am the reason Thor is not in the marriage he deserves, and I fear I am the reason Loki’s marriage failed.” 

“None of that was your doing though.” Frigga stated factually. “I loved Odin, more than words, and I will always will, but with regards you and Loki, I will not forgive him for what he did, and he knew it too.” Kari shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Are you alright dear?” Kari nodded as she pressed her hand to her side, where the baby had just kicked. “The child’s seidr...” Kari gasped as she felt another painful kick. “Kari?” 

“I need Eir.” Kari groaned in pain. Immediately, Frigga rose to her feet and rushed away, leaving Kari to try and breath through the pain. She had been told of how to know when she was going into labour, and the pain she was experiencing was nothing like she had been warned of. 

“Kari?” Loki came over and bent on his knees. “Kari, what is wrong?” 

“The baby.” 

“What about it?”

“I don’t know, it hurts. Frigga…Eir…” 

“Okay, we’ll get you to the healing rooms.” He lifted her into his arms with little difficulty. He walked directly across the hall, the occupants of which, on seeing the Allmother in obvious pain, quickly cleared a path. Loki took long strides and reached the healing rooms just as Eir and Frigga were leaving them. 

“Thank the Norn’s, put her on the table.” Eir instructed as she opened the door. Loki did as he was told. “Dowager.” 

“I will remain and use my seidr to calm the child.” 

“Very well. Prince Loki, considering the Allfather is not here, he must not know. Go inform him that as soon as the Allmother is stable, I will move her to her rooms.” Eir instructed. Reluctantly, Loki nodded at the healer and left, his eyes lingering on Kari for as long as possible before his leaving. 

Kari tried to steady her breathing as Eir examined her. “I fear I will have to put you on bed rest your Majesty.” 

“What is wrong? Is the baby alright?”

“The baby is fine, but as I stated before, you are not. It is taking it’s toll on you. If you ever even wish to consider more children in the future, you need to rest. If it is born soon, it will survive, but you may not.” 

Kari closed her eyes to will the tears to remain at bay as Frigga squeezed her hand. “Do whatever you need to do.” Kari instructed. 

“Bed rest, as of immediate effect. I will check on you throughout the day and night, the furthest you are to go is the bathroom, am I clear?” Kari nodded. “Good.”

Loki ran to the hall, frantic at Kari’s condition. He had sensed the child’s seidr, it was so attuned to his own, something had caused the child to stress, and Kari was clearly in pain. Would they be alright? He did not think he would be able to live if he lost one or either of them. He searched for Thor, angered by having not come across his brother, where was he? The whole hall had seen him leave with Kari in agony in his arms; surely the idiot was not so self obsessed to not see them. He arrived back to the hall, and was met by a concerned Queen Anya and Clara. “Have either of your Majesties seen my brother?” 

“No, not since the Allmother took bad.” Clara answered. “Gaufrid and some servants have gone in search of him.” 

“I have a suspicion as to where he could be.” Loki stated, though to himself and not the two queens. He turned on his heals and left the hall again, heading to the reception room of his brother’s chambers. 

He nodded to the Eirherjar guarding his brother’s doors, they opened them without question before he even reached the doors, he assumed they too had heard of the queen’s condition. 

Inside, he saw Thor drinking with his friends. “What are you doing barging in here Loki.” Thor barked. 

“Well I’m sorry for disturbing you considering you are oh so busy at present, but as you have not been in the hall with the rest of the realm, you are seemingly the last person in Asgard to find out that I had to carry Kari to Eir’s rooms as she gasped in agony as the baby became distressed.” 

Thor eyed Loki for a moment, as though he could not process what he said. “Of all the days to jest, this is not one of them Loki.” Thor growled. 

“Jest…you idiotic pile of pus, Kari could very well lose the child.” Loki roared. “And you think me jesting?” 

“Thor, I do not think him joking.” Fandral stated getting to his feet. 

“Nor I.” Hogun agreed as he and Volstagg also rose from their chairs. 

Thor looked around. “No, she has been resting, mother said so.”

“How much rest do you think she has had really, be reasonable Thor, think of all she has had to deal with of late.” Loki was beginning to shake with anger. “Go and be something of a husband to her.” He ordered, using his seidr to lift Thor from the chair he sat in. “And pray to the Norn’s she does not smell the alcohol on your breath. That you thought more of drowning your sorrows than of her and the child.” 

Finally Thor began to run from the room, followed closely by the warrior’s and Loki, then by Sif. They made their way passed the hall, where Gaufrid was returning with some other men. 

“You found him, thank goodness.” The Vanir king sighed in relief. 

Thor filled with guilt. He had not thought of Kari, he seldom did of late, only the child. He immediately made his way to the healing rooms, the warrior’s not far behind him, though they held back as Thor went through the doors, Loki reluctantly remaining with them. 

“What actually happened Loki?” Volstagg asked in concern. 

“I am not sure how it began, she was with mother, but then I saw mother rushing from the hall, and when I looked toward Kari, she was doubled over in pain, and the child was in distress.” 

“How could you know such a thing?” Hogun asked curiously. 

“It already possesses seidr, so mother and I can sense it.” 

“That’s handy.” Fandral commented. 

Thor rushed to the table, looking between Eir and his mother. “What happened?” 

“I am not sure, the baby seemed to become distressed, and Kari was in pain, so I came to get Eir and we went to get back to the hall, just as Loki had carried her here.” 

 

“Her Majesty may well lose her life if she is not careful.” Eir stated plainly. Thor stared at her, sobering up immediately. “She has not been caring for herself properly; whatever is causing her to stress so greatly is taking its toll on her.” 

“Well father’s illness, she took on so much.” Thor mumbled. 

“Well she will need to eat, sleep and rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, however long that may be. I do not think she will make it to full term, but she needs to get some strength up, for if she were to go into labour now, she would certainly perish.” 

“And the child.” Thor asked. 

“The child is fine, it is strong, but your wife is not.”

Thor looked to Kari, who was asleep on the table. “I will take her to her rooms so.” He walked over and lifted her gently, allowing his mother to adjust the blanket around her before he walked slowly from the room. 

Loki and the warriors watched as Thor walked passed them, none saying anything, but getting to their feet as they watched their king carry his wife away. 

“Mother?” Loki asked as Frigga exited the healing rooms. 

“She is weak, very weak.” Frigga explained. “She has been fooling us into thinking she was stronger, but apparently, she has been suffering great stress and not telling anyone.” 

Loki swallowed hard. “Well with Odin being so ill, I am sure she felt she would have been inconveniencing us all. So what is happening?”

“Yes, I suspect you are right. She is to get rest, a lot of rest, and will require constant care.” 

“Just when your family has suffered one tragedy.” Volstagg commented. 

“Kari can recover, that is the difference here.” Frigga stated; her tone adamant. “We will ensure it. We will not lose her.” 

“Lose? There is chance we could lose her?” Loki cared not for appearances; the idea of losing Kari was too much for him. 

“Her body is weak Loki, childbirth is no easy feat, there is a reason it is seen as noble a death as battle.” Frigga explained. “You and I will have to keep the child placated within her as long as we can. I will remain with her when you and Thor are dealing with the realm, but you and Thor will both have to take turns with her too, keep her relaxed, you know what poetry she likes and whatnot. Our goal now is to have her get as close to her due date as possible before the child is born.” 

“Of course, whatever is needed.” Loki agreed, when Frigga walked away Loki looked concernedly after her. “Norn’s are we cursed?” He wondered aloud. 

“It could happen any family.” Volstagg consoled. 

“I am sure any family could have two misfortunes, but considering my mother’s state after caring for Odin, now this, how long before this all takes it toll on her and she ends up in bad health also?” Loki replied.

The warrior’s looked down the hall where the dowager had left. “I see your concern.” Volstagg acknowledged. 

“Do you require anything of us?” Sif asked. 

“No, thank you, though Thor may require your council.” Loki did not even look at her. “I think what we need now is to just come to terms with what has happened. You may take your leave if you wish.” He added as he walked off. 

Throughout the night, Eir checked on Kari, who slept soundly in her bed. Frigga insisting she would remain with her as Thor and Loki dealt with those who had travelled for Odin’s funeral, which only really became an exercise in repeating time and again that the Allmother had merely exhausted herself and was just in need of a good rest. It was Loki’s idea to say such and not reveal to any the state that Kari truly was in. 

“We cannot be seen as weak at this time Thor.” He insisted. 

“You’re right.” Thor agreed. “I should have been here.” 

“Yes, you should.”

“Thank you for the words of comfort Loki.” 

“I am not trying to comfort you, I think you selfish for what you did this evening.” Loki commented as he walked off to speak with one of the Light Elf dignitaries.

Kari did not wake through the night, and it was late morning before she began to stir. On waking, she looked around her, surprised to see herself in her rooms, as Eir was checking her over. “Ouch.” She yelped as the healer removed her hand from her. 

“Sorry, but the good news is, you have not began to dilate, and the plug is still strong.” Eir smiled. 

“There has to be a better way to do that.” Kari grumbled as Eir cleaned her hands. 

“Sadly not, sometimes the crudest method is the most effective.” Kari tried to pull herself up in the bed. “Don’t you dare.” The healer warned. “Prince Loki excused himself while I was checking you over, when he comes back in; he will assist you to sit up.” 

“Loki, why is he here?” Kari tried to sound simply curious. 

“The Allfather is dealing with some talks to do with weapons or some other issue, the Dowager was here with you all night, so she is resting, meaning Prince Loki is the only one available to be with you at present.” 

“I do not require round the clock care.” Kari frowned indignantly. 

“Until I say otherwise, you do.” The healer insisted. “I will have your usual breakfast brought to you, from what King Thor states; it is a good one, though I will add some bread to it.” 

Kari rolled her eyes as the healer left. Only a moment later, Loki rushed in. “Darling.” He was to her side in an instant. “I have been so worried.” 

“I am fine.” 

“Kari, you are on the verge of dying.” Tears began to fill his eyes. 

“I am no such thing. According to Eir, there is little sign of me giving birth soon, so all I need do is wait out a few weeks of being waited on hand and foot by you.” She grinned, using her thumb to wipe away a tear falling down his cheek. 

“Please do not leave me my beautiful dove, I need you, our child needs you.” He placed his hand on her stomach, the green of his seidr glowing as he connected with the baby within. “You scared it.” 

“I scared myself.” Kari admitted, placing her hand over his. “And I plan on going nowhere.” 

“Promise?”

“I swear.”


	27. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari has been confined to bed rest, when she and Thor are speaking, she tells him to let go, but something is not quite right.

Kari stared at her ever growing stomach. She had not seen her feet in the seven weeks she had been placed on bed rest, even when she went for a bath or simple waddled to the bathroom, something she had felt utterly humiliated by, she could not see them. According to Frigga and Eir, it was completely normal, but that was little consolation to her. She was almost to full term and the baby was growing and thriving well, even if she felt as though she was going mad. Thor, Frigga and Loki had taken turns keeping her company, but overall she was sick of staring at the ceiling or the far wall. 

Her body had become stronger, and thankfully, the baby showed little interest in coming early. A trait she jokingly accused it of getting from Loki when they were alone, so Eir believed she had little risk of perishing in childbirth. But that still did not permit her to leave the bed. 

Luckily, she had convinced Loki to carry her to the window seat, which was large enough to take her, before he left her one afternoon, though she thought it only because she threatened to walk herself if he did not assist her. So it was there that Thor found her a short time later, sketching something she could see outside. 

Ensuring he was at an angle that meant he was not looking at the drawing; he approached her. “How did you get over here, dare I ask?” 

“I threatened to walk over if Loki did not carry me.” She did not look up from the page at him as she continued to draw. 

“You really should be in bed.” 

“I know, but I needed a change of view.” 

“What caught your attention?” 

“You.” Thor frowned. “I saw you walking in the gardens with Sif.” She finally looked up from the page she was working on, a genuine smile on her face. 

“We were just talking. She has been somewhat distant of late; I needed to find out why.” 

Kari laughed heartily. “Oh you blind, blind man.” She stated sympathetically. “You really don’t see it do you?” 

“See what?” 

“She is in love with you, she has been for years.” Kari explained. “And since the announcement of the child, she has been heartbroken. That is why she is not the same around you, but happy and jovial around the others. Everyone can see it, everyone but you.” 

“But I…”

“Please do not feign disinterest Thor, I am well aware you feel something for her too.” Kari laughed. “I have known for some time.”

“I don’t...” 

“You do, stop denying it Thor. You need to finally admit it to yourself, please, accept it.”

“But our marriage…” 

“What of it? It is only really a marriage in name, is it not?” Kari shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t mind.” 

“You don’t…” 

“Thor, I am not a good wife, in fact, I am an absolutely abysmal one.” She acknowledged. “When I saw what was between you, I knew there was a way for me to at least try and make amends for my countless shortcomings.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I love you, but not the kind of love a woman should have for her husband, I love you the same way now as I did when I was betrothed to Loki, like family, but not like my partner. I have realised just how much that difference mattered, so I did everything I could to push you away. I should never have tried to force myself to think differently, it was wrong, I only hurt you more then.” 

“Why?” 

“I needed you to fall out of love with me.” 

“So the way you have acted, the way you have been so cold to me…”

“I hated doing it, I really did, but I had to, it was not fair on you.” 

“I still love you though.” 

“But not like before?” Thor shook his head. “Good, I care for you Thor, but not like that. I want you to be happy, but that could never be with me.” 

“I cannot believe I did not see all of it.” 

Kari looked at him sadly. “I am sorry for everything I have said and done against you Thor, though nothing I do will ever make up for it all.” 

“I don’t know what to do about this now.” He admitted, feeling a bit lost. 

“Well whatever you do, try not to have something commissioned for her similar to something you had commissioned for me…again.” Kari suggested. Thor stared at her. Kari leant towards him and half whispered, half laughed. “You had a bracelet you had made for me, made for her also.” 

“What?” 

“Yep. The one for our fiftieth wedding anniversary, you gave one identical to her around the time of her eleven hundredth name’s day.” 

“Oh Norn’s, Kari I swear I did not realise it. I just had something made for her, I thought nothing more of it.” 

“I can tell.” She laughed fondly. 

“What about the child?”

“What about it?”

“Surely we should at least try, for its sake.” 

She shook her head as she answered. “We are better like this Thor. Forcing something in hopes of a miracle, it will not work. We were never meant for one another.”

“It feels wrong.” 

“That is your sense of duty, you have always stuck to it, to even the detriment of your own happiness, but it does not mean that it is right.” 

“You have always been so wise, even though you are by far the youngest queen in all the realms.” 

“You are forgetting Midgard, their queens are usually only a few decades old.” 

“Midgard does not count, their life span is far different to our own.”

Kari chuckled. She looked down at the sheet of paper on her lap. “I have been working on this all day.” Thor said nothing, having learnt his lesson before not to expect her to share anymore than that with him. “It’s for you.” She passed it over to him. 

Frowning; he slowly extending his hand, he took the sheet of paper, turning it towards him, his eyes widened. “Kari…” It was of him, in only a comfortable but intricately designed tunic and pants, sitting on the throne, Mjolnir under his hand, his facial expression was as though he was listening intently, and with a general air of calm exuding from him. “Kari, this is exquisite. I…I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” 

“It is how I feel you should always see your rule. Do not try to imitate his one, you are different men. You are better than he could ever have hoped to be, because you care for those around you.” She gently placed her hand on his arm. “I wonder sometimes, you know, if I had been always meant for you, would it have been different. I think perhaps, but then, I think not. It is one of those great questions we all have in our long lives, what are the other paths our lives could have taken.” 

“You sound more like an old woman on her death bed than a young soon to be mother.” Thor commented. 

“I am a mother with some time now, my child is simply not born yet.” 

“You know what I mean.” Thor rolled his eyes. 

She sighed, giving a small smile as she leant her head back and closed her eyes. “You have to be happy Thor.”

“Kari?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Are you alright?” 

“Fine, just tired.” She gave another small smile, closing her eyes again. 

“Kari? Kari what is going on?” Thor dropped the sketch and got to his knees beside her. “Kari, please just wake up for a moment, just tell me, why are you talking like this?” 

“Like what?” She murmured weakly. 

“Like someone who is on their deathbed. Kari, do I need to get Eir?” She shook her head feebly. “Kari, think of the baby, if I need to get Eir, you have to tell me.” He shook her slightly, but she was unresponsive. “No, Norn’s no, please.” Gently, he lifted Kari to the bed, settling her in it before going to the door. “Helena!” He called out. The maid came in immediately. “Get Eir, get mother, get Loki. Go, go.” He ordered frantically. 

The maid gasped as she realised something was terribly wrong with her mistress. With tears in her eyes, she turned, and bolted full speed to the healer. En route she collided painfully with Loki, who was walking with Frigga along the hall towards Kari’s rooms. “What in Valhalla’s name…?” Loki ceased talking when he saw the look on the maids face. 

“Her Majesty…Eir…she…she…” 

“Go, run.” Loki ordered as he lifted the maid to her feet. “As fast as you can.” Leaving his mother to run at her own pace, he rushed as fast as he could to Kari’s rooms, blasting through the doors until he got to the bed chambers. “What the Hel?”

“She won’t wake up.” Thor tried to explain. 

“What do you mean? What did you do?” Loki pushed him aside to take a look at Kari’s pale face. 

“Nothing.” 

A few moments later, Frigga arrived in and assessed her daughter in law. “The child…” 

“What?” Thor asked looking between his mother and brother. “What?” 

“How has she turned so quickly?” Frigga wondered aloud. 

“Mother, the child, what of it?” 

“It is still strong, it is protected.” 

“Then we may have to cut it from her.” Eir stated as she entered the room and walked over, immediately assessing Kari before pulling back the covers. “I need you to leave the room.” She ordered. 

“I will stay.” Frigga insisted. Eir looked at her for a moment, but nodded. Frigga turned to her sons. “I will stay with her. You must go.” Reluctantly, they complied. 

Outside they looked dumbfounded at one another for a few moments before Thor collapsed against a wall and broke down crying. Loki stood staring at his brother in utter shock. “What happened?”

“She…She drew something for me and gave it to me. She told me she only was the way she was with me so I would let go of my feelings for her, and accept my feeling for…” 

“Sif?” Loki completed the sentence for him. Thor looked up at him. “Wow, I guess she was right, you were oblivious to it.” 

“Was I the only one not to realise?”

“Apparently yes.” Loki nodded. 

“She told me to be happy.” 

Loki frowned at him. “That does sound like something she would say. She has wanted to say it to you for some time.”

“But it is the way she said it Loki, like it was the last thing she ever expected to say to me.” 

Loki swallowed hard, he wondered how Thor was able to weep, yet he could not, when in truth he was the one with everything to lose. He thought he would feel something at least, but it was then he realised, he felt nothing, he felt utterly numb. His body and mind would not accept what he knew was the truth. Kari, his beautiful, loving Kari, was seemingly dying. And their child, the proof of their love for one another, was at risk of the same fate. But he could not process it. 

They waited, listening intently for the sound of anything that would give away the going-on’s from within. But the longer they waited, the more quiet things became. 

Finally, Frigga emerged almost ashen faced. Her sons rushed over to her. “Mother, what is it, tell us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter. I planned on it being longer, but instead, the little bunny running the controls in my head decided that I would cut it shorter. There will be a very imprtant note at the beginning of the next chapter, please read before reading the story.


	28. The Road Life Takes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has two ends. This is the happier intended one, the next chapter is the one alternative end I accidentally wrote.

Kari sat back in the bed, her body ached, and she felt as though she would never have energy again, like she was going to be in a perpetual state of exhaustion. But he was here, her son. A small bundle with brown hair, darker than her own, perfect little features, and healthy; he had fed from her eagerly, and was now asleep in his grandmother’s arms. 

Frigga had been distraught when Eir could not cut through to the child, she had tried to get it to calm so that her seidr could prevent it from using his, but she was too worn, and the child too distressed. They had gotten Kari to waken, so instead Frigga would be forced to give much of her own strength over to Kari to aid her birthing the child naturally. She was convinced Kari would not survive it, which was when she had gone to her sons to tell them of what was occurring. Sheer determination in proving people wrong seemed to be all that got Kari through the birth. 

“Will I call them in?” Frigga asked, not taking her eyes off her grandson. 

“Get Helena to do it, you need to rest too.” Kari smiled, she wanted to hold him, but she knew herself rest was what she needed at that time, there would be time enough to hold him after.

The elated and relieved maid was dispatched, and soon after, Thor walked into the room, followed closely by Loki. Thor seemed torn between going to Kari in the bed, and the baby in his mothers arms, but Loki made straight for her. 

“What in the Nine Realms were you thinking?” Loki was so concerned with speaking with her; he seemed to have forgotten whose company they were in. “Why did you not tell me, why did you have me put you at the window?”

“I wanted some fresh air.” Kari shrugged with a small smile. “I needed to breathe.” 

“You should have something, to either of us. You nearly died rather than just mention you were feeling ill.”

Thor watched the interactions between his wife and brother silently, he swallowed when he realised the situation at hand, looking to Frigga, and he was shocked to see a knowing look on her face. When she looked to him, it was clear what he was silently asking her, and she cleared her throat immediately. “I shall take this young man to be clothed I think.” Frigga rose from the chair she was in and walked from the room. 

“Still?” Thor looked between them. “After so long.”

“We never stopped.” Loki stood from the side of the bed. 

“That is why you wanted me to admit my interest in Sif, so you could do the same yourself.” Thor stated to Kari.

“If everyone can find happiness, why not do so? Why should there be misery when there is need for none?” She queried. 

“So you two…Why did neither of you tell me?”

“Thor, you have been so confused about yourself. I told you to accept your love for Sif and you still tried to hold onto a marriage for a child.” Kari stated. 

“But…” 

“Can you not see, this is all just a farce at this stage Thor.” Loki shouted. “There is nothing about any of this that is the least bit viable to hold onto.” 

Thor became silent before simply storming from the room. “What do think that means?” Kari asked fearfully.

“That we told him a truth too great for him to process in front of us, he will return when he has dealt with his conflicting emotions.” Loki looked at Kari again; her eyes seemed to be shutting as she looked at him. “Rest darling, you need it.” 

“I thought I was going to have to break my promise.” 

“If you are worrying about us not discussing your not telling me of your weakness and your allowing Thor be the one with you and not me, trust me, we will, but when you are healthier and more able to retort, alright?” With a small smile Kari fell asleep. Loki refused to leave her side as she did. 

Thor was not seen for the rest of the evening by his family as he processed everything, just as Loki stated he would. The next morning, he seemed to be in better spirits when he visited his wife in her rooms, even with Loki present. Frigga was still sleeping herself as she attempted to recover. 

“Should you not…?” He asked, his face slightly reddened. 

“What?” Kari looked around before realising what had Thor so embarrassed. “I am feeding a baby, not advertising myself in a brothel, Thor. And neither you nor Loki can even see him, he is under a nursing shawl.” She threw her eyes up as she spoke. 

“I have not even seen him yet.” Thor realised as he walked over to the bed, Loki walked across the room as he did so, and stared out the window, not wanting to witness his brother and his son together, as much as he knew it would have to happen. 

When the baby required another winding, Kari took him from under the shawl and allowed Thor to look on him as she rubbed his back. “He is to be called Njall.” She insisted. I do not care if father’s get to name children; I quite literally nearly died having him. I am calling him that.” she declared. 

Thor nodded, not caring for something as trivial as a name when it was true she nearly died to bring him among them alive. “Njall, a fine name for a fine boy.” He smiled, placing his large finger in the child’s open palm, where it immediately closed around it. 

Loki’s lip curled contemptuously as he looked out the corner of his eye to see his brother smiling at his son. Kari noticed and pitied Loki, who could not be acknowledged for what he was. 

“The realm has to be informed.” Thor rose to his feet. “You are feeling better also?” Kari nodded, her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied him. “Good.” Thor felt awkward under her quizzical stare, so he turned to leave again. 

“So, pray tell, how did Sif react exactly?” She asked with a smile. 

“What?” Thor turned to look at her. 

“There are nail marks and scratches on the side of your neck, and I think I also see, yes, that is a bite mark.” She smirked. “So I assume Sif took the news well.”

“I…” Thor rubbed the evidence and winced, realising it was true what Kari could see. 

She simply started to laugh before adding fondly. “Told you, you blind man.” 

“Yes, well…” Thor said no more and left. 

X X X X X X

“Well done Njall.” Loki smiled proudly as the boy was able to make a fork disappear from in front of him. The brown haired boy grinned back at him, his blue eyes radiating brightly at the praise, the specks of green within them shining all the more when he was happy. 

“Loki?” 

“Yes.” Loki hated how to his son he was just Loki, and not father, that privilege was his brothers, much to his chagrin. 

“Why…”

“What mischief are you teaching him today Loki? Could you not teach him something useful.” Thor interrupted. “Njall, you should be training with a shield and sword, or even more importantly, hand to hand.” 

“I have already today father.” Njall informed him. “My tutor says I am exceptionally skilled at it.” He added proudly, Loki gave him a smile and wink. 

“Good. Well it will serve you better than this magic malarkey.” 

“This magic malarkey has saved your ass more than once Thor, or do you need to be reminded.” Loki growled, irritated by Thor dismissing seidr for the millionth time. “Njall is a natural, it has to be encouraged.” 

“As the future king of Asgard, he will need to worry more about battles and war than making cutlery disappear for a cheap party trick.” Thor began to get irritated, disliking how Loki was giving his view all too often on how Njall should be raised. 

“It leads to more difficult things, like making him disappear, that could save his life.” Loki stood to full height across from his brother. 

“I think you forget that he is my son Loki, not yours.” Thor stood straight also, reminding Loki he was two inches taller and far broader than him. 

“Of course he is.” Loki replied smarmily. 

Thor frowned as he eyed Loki. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing.” Loki walked away. 

“No, what does that mean Loki?” Thor followed after him, turning him to face him. For a split second, there was a look of fear on Loki’s face and Thor paled, looking around at the young boy who was looking at them both, concerned at their arguing. He looked back at Loki again and let go of him. “No.” He walked off, and out of the room immediately. 

“Oh Norn’s.” Loki knew he had caused a problem. “Njall, go to Helena.” Realising that there was more going on that he understood, the bright young heir did as he was told. 

“WHAT!?!” Thor roared, lightning ripping through the sky outside. 

“Thor, please.” Sif tried to calm him. 

“You.” Thor glared at his brother, and then turned to Kari. “And you.” She winced at the hatred in his voice. “You had me think he was mine. He is to be made king.” 

“You think I don’t hate what I did, I have since the day I screwed up.” Kari stated calmly. 

“You’re not even going to try and justify yourself?” He asked in disbelief. 

Kari laughed back. “There is no way to ever justify such actions, I can never say or do anything to take back the terrible acts I committed. I stated that to you before.”

“I did not think that included him. Why did you not come clean then?” Thor shouted angrily. 

“I was terrified.” Kari explained.

“Of me?” Thor stared at her, his anger drained. “You thought I would…” Kari could not look him in the eye, but he could see it had been a concern for her. “I…” He swallowed. “I would never have done such a thing.” He shook his head. “He is supposed to be my heir, he is not even my child.” Rage filled him again. “And you.” He turned to Loki, shaking with anger. “No wonder you were so happy around her at that time, you bastard.” He lunged at Loki, punching him hard in the jaw. “You made a fool of me too.” 

Loki did not fight back; instead he merely stopped Thor from actually landing any more blows. “Yes, we wronged you, and we are sorry, but…”

“There is no but Loki. I want you gone, both of you and your brat too.” Thor snarled as he stood straight once more.

“Thor!” Sif scolded. “Be angry at them, that is completely justified, I am fit to kill also, I assure you, but do not take it out on Njall, he never had anything to do with this.” 

“This is about him.” Thor argued.

“But he did not ask to exist, did he? Nor did he choose who sired him.” She argued and Thor silenced. She then turned to Kari, who mouthed ‘thank you’ Sif nodded, but her anger at Kari was clear on her face. 

“What are we to do? He cannot take the throne.” Thor stormed through the room pacing. 

“There is nothing can be done about that, not without showing the family to be weak.” The four turned to see Frigga standing at the door. “It is one thing if the people were to suspect you both taking lovers, but to disown Njall will mean no legitimate heir. If Sif was to carry your child, it is not from your marriage, you will not be able to call it your heir. The throne would have to pass to Loki or Njall then anyway, but with it being common knowledge and you know that there would be a few lords willing to use the tensions to take the throne. And with trust in our family broken, they would have more than a few supporters.” 

Thor's eyes widened as he turned to glare at Kari, Loki stood in front of her to shield her. “What have you done?”

“There is no good can come from any of this.” Frigga insisted. 

“So what, we go on acting as normal?” Thor scoffed in disbelief. 

“Yes.” Frigga stated. “Njall is an intelligent and able boy, the realm accepts him, and that is what matters here.” Thor looked at her incredulously. He stormed from the room in a fury. “Sif.” With a nod, she walked out if the room. 

“You knew.” Loki stared at his mother in shock. “How long?”

“Oh please give me some credit Loki. Your anger when you noticed Kari’s condition, then your elation not a day later, his seidr, then he was born, as soon as I saw his little nose, it is yours through and through. Even his nature is a mischievous one.” 

Kari had tears in her eyes. “I am sorry for all the damage I have caused.” 

“Sweetheart, you are just Aesir; you are capable of doing wrong. It is a terrible cruelty what you both did to Thor, I was less than pleased at that, but in all honesty, I was not surprised. You should never have been separated to begin with.” 

“Thor…” 

“He will calm in time, he knows what I said is true, and he will not want to cause a civil issue.” 

X X X X X 

Thor did calm, but not for some time, and for years, looking at Njall caused him to feel a pang of pain. He had tried to have a child with Sif, not to have another heir, he knew it would not be able to take Njall’s position, but simply to have a child of his own, but sadly, she never conceived, according to Eir, both were not able to create one. 

Kari was not able to have anymore after her traumatic birthing of Njall, but she an Loki were happy to watch Njall develop into an adolescent, even if Loki was forced to watch from afar. 

As he trained with his peers one afternoon in the training grounds, Kari watched on from a terrace beside it and Thor walked over next to her. “He is good, better even.” He commented. 

“It is all the hand to hand training you insisted he have.” 

“It will serve him well.”

“I rather not think about such.” Kari shuddered as she placed her hands around herself. “No mother wants to think of her son in battle.”

“It is his duty.” 

“I am aware.” She looked up at him. “What is it Thor?” He looked back at her curiously. “I can still tell when something is bothering you.” She smiled. 

“Still?” She nodded. “I can still read some of your little tells too.” He admitted. 

“I would be offended if you didn’t.” 

“We are married how long now?” 

“Fifteen hundred years.” 

“And it is a very happy marriage.” 

Kari laughed. “It is, but let’s face it; it has little to do with you and I being together.” 

“Well it is as you said, we love one another, just not like that.” 

“I thought you loathed me now.” 

“I did, but I forgave you, after a while.”

“Why?” 

“Because you extended the same courtesy to me when I did horrid things to you.” 

“Such as?”

“Forcing you to be so involved in a marriage you never wanted. I should never have tried to force you to love me back.” 

“It does not justify what I did.” 

“No, that is true, but we can only move on.” 

“You are getting soft.”

“Do not say that too loud.” He grinned in return.

“So what is it you wished to say? That is not what you came to me about.” 

“I found something the other day. I did not know how to broach giving it back to you.” Kari frowned as Thor extended his hand to her. “It was one of the books you left the rooms.” 

She opened the scrap of paper and smiled. “Thank you. How did you know what it was?” 

“The night of our wedding, you had it hidden in your undergarments. You kept it.” 

“I thought it would be the last I would ever hear from him.” 

Thor nodded, looking to the training pit. “I better teach Njall not to be so disrespectful to older warriors, Fandral is too gentle on him.” He grinned as he walked forward.

Kari rolled her eyes and walked back into the palace. She made her way to Loki’s chambers to see him staring out the window. “Is Thor trying to kill our son?” He asked looking at the training grounds. 

“I think he called it ‘teaching him a lesson’.” She smiled, sitting down across from him. “I was thinking.” 

“Oh Norns, that is not good.” He chuckled as she struck him with a pillow. “So what have you been thinking?” Kari opened the tie at the front of her dress, walking to the bedchambers as she looked back at him suggestively. “I rescind my previous statement.” He smiled as he rose and followed after her. 

X X X X X X

Thor stepped down as Allfather not long after Njall and his wife Katrin welcomed their son Viktor. Kari smiled as she held her grandson in her arms during his coronation. 

After the coronation feast Kari was enjoying a moment of quiet on the balcony. “So, how does it feel to no longer worry of such things?” She smiled at her grown son. 

“I am not sorry to see it go if I am honest. It is yours and Katrin’s problem now” 

“I think father was proud today.” 

“Yes.” Kari gave a small smile at that. 

“I think Uncle Thor was less pleased.” He added. Kari stared at him. “I’ve known for some time now mother.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to drag you into anything.” 

“Well I am not. I know you and my father love one another, and I know what happened you both. Grandmother told me once of what my grandfather did to you.” Kari bit her lips together as she thought of Frigga, who she missed terribly since she passed to Valhalla. “I am proof that love conquers all mother, I am not ashamed of that. I am just glad you and Thor never did such a thing to me.” 

“We never could have done that to you.” 

“I know, it does not mean I cannot be grateful for it.” 

“Smart.”

“Like his mother.” Loki added as he joined them. “Your wife is looking for you. It appears your son has waddled off with Mjolnir.” 

“Mjolnir?” Kari stared at her soul mate. 

“Yes, Thor is in fits of laughter, declaring to all that Viktor is worthy, we should tremble in fear at this time I should think.” 

“I better deal with that.” Njall kissed his mothers hand before he left. “You’ll keep her company here, won’t you father?”

Loki smiled widely at his son calling him that. “I will.” Njall walked back inside, his smile very similar. Loki walked over to Kari. “I don’t mean to brag, but we created a great child.” He wrapped his arms around her. 

“It is only a pity the realm does not get to know it.” 

“Such things are irrelevant my dove.”


	29. Alternative Ending - I Never Said Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALT Ending to the story, takes place straight after chapter 27 also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sort of came to me, even though I planned on a happy ending, my brain wrote this.

Loki looked at Kari in her bed, his chest felt as though it was going to explode. She looked different, the beautiful glow from her skin gone, replaced by a paling pallor, the bright sparkle of her life, extinguished in her eyes. Gone, his beautiful Kari was gone. His breaths came in fast and shallow, slowly he turned to his mother, in her arms was a blanket, covering the little child, it was small because of its premature birth, but its seidr kept it safe. Frigga seemed to be holding onto it as though terrified it would disappear, he did not even hear what it was, he did not know if he had a daughter or a son.

“Mother.” Thor's voice was small and weak. Frigga looked at her older son. “Mother, give her to me.” He reached his arms out for the small child. Frigga was reluctant to let go of the baby for a moment before she gently rose to her feet and assisted him in taking her. 

Loki stared, he watched as Thor walked toward the bed for a moment, looking between mother and daughter, before looking down to the little girl in his arms, she began to wriggle with little cries emitting from her small lungs. When Thor looked to Loki, he just swallowed and stared at the baby, who raised her arm up from the blanket she was wrapped in to try and grasp something. He did not even seem to realise he was walking until he reached Thor, and looked at the baby. A pained gasp erupted from his throat. 

She was almost like a porcelain doll, her skin pale, her little tuffs of hair seemed to be dark brown, darker than her mothers had been, and her little hand glowed deep blue, the same blue her mother loved more than any other. He turned and looked over at Kari again. 

“Loki?” His mother’s concern was finally what broke the wall that had kept his emotions at bay. He broke down, his violent wails startling his brother, his mother, the healer and even the tiny baby. Falling to his knees on the floor, he gripped the bedding and sobbed. Gone, she was gone. 

Thor and Frigga stared at him in shock, neither knowing how to process what they were seeing. “Mother, take the baby, get her a wet nurse.” Thor ordered, looking at Loki who was still in tears next to him. When Frigga and Eir left with the baby, he waited until Loki’s cries became sobs. “Still?” Loki looked to him, his face that of a broken man. “You still loved her?”

“I never stopped.” Loki’s almost choked as he spoke. 

“And she…did she still?” Thor was frightened to ask. 

“Yes.” 

“That is why she wanted me to be happy with Sif, because she wanted to be happy with you.” Loki did not respond. “I…Why did neither of you tell me?”

“You were blind to your own feelings, how could you ever realise other peoples.” Loki voice was cracking. “We never stopped loving one another. I will never stop loving her.” He rose to his feet again, wiping the tears from his eyes as he looked down at the woman he adored. “Thor,” He turned to face his brother. “Kari had no idea how to tell you, but you never did anything with her on Vanaheim.” 

“I don’t understand, what has that to do with….” Thor's eyes widened. “The baby. You…she.”

Loki nodded “She is my daughter, not yours.” 

Thor looked at Kari’s lifeless body in the bed, then back to his brother, unable to process what he was hearing. “So what she meant when she said she was an abysmal wife, she meant that she was busy…” Thor's lip and nose twitched as he became more and more enraged. 

“She meant what she said to you, she did wish to see you happy, and that that would never be with her. That is why she wanted you to realise how you felt for Sif. She wanted you to…” Loki did not get to finish his sentence before Thor swung for him, his fist colliding painfully with Loki’s jaw. “You should never have held onto the idea she would love you back for so long, she told you long ago to take a mistress.” He added, his speech slightly slurred as he spoke because of the ache. 

“She had come round, then you came back, and everything went to shit.” Thor roared as he paced in front of Loki.

“Because she couldn’t lie to you or to herself any longer, my returning forced her to realise that.” He retorted as loudly, rubbing his face where Thor's knuckles collided painfully with his cheek. “She pushed you away, then when she realised you were in denial about Sif, she did everything she could to get your focus off her and to Sif. Just because you loved her, doesn’t mean she was obliged to love you.” 

“She was my wife.” 

“Only because Odin forced her to marry you, she loved me. The last conversation she had in this world was with you, trying to get you to be happy. I was not given that, and now you are going to piss all over it, she knew she could never atone for her own wrong doings, she was trying to free you of yours.” 

“Mine? What did I do?” 

“You forced her to feel as though she had no choice but to act as a good wife to you, rather than accepting your feelings were not reciprocated. Have you any idea of the heartache that would have been saved if you had accepted that? She said time and again how she wanted you to feel loved, but it could never be from her. And now she is gone.” 

“Loki.” Thor's anger dissipated. 

“I have nothing left. Nothing.” Loki began to cry again. “She left me, she promised she wouldn’t, but she did. Now all I have is nothing.”

Thor looked at Loki, he was conflicted, their betrayal hurt him, it ached like a jagged knife. The child he had been so excited for, was not even his and for the rest of his life, if he wished to avoid public humiliation, he would have to pretend she was his, and train her to take the crown after him. But Loki had lost everything, it was true. Kari was gone, and for the sake of stability and face, he would have to be acknowledged as the girl’s father. “What is her name?” Loki looked at him in confusion. “The girl, what is her name? It is a father’s right to name his child, is it not?” 

“Why?” 

“You said yourself, you have nothing. I can give you this. She would have wanted it.” Thor looked at Kari, the woman who used her last day to draw him, telling him how best to live his rule, and telling him to be happy. She knew she was dying, and she told none of them, and rather than having Loki by her side, she chose to council him. Even at the cost of her own happiness, she had done such a thing, Loki was right; he had his part to play in everything. “She would have asked you what you would have wanted to name the child, and would have fought tooth and nail for that name, so what is it?” 

“Mya, she wanted Mya.” 

Thor nodded. “Mya it is then.” He turned to leave. “I will have to be seen as her father publically, for as wrong as what you both did was, the people adored her, and she was truly a good person, she does not deserve such a thing, especially since she is not able to justify her actions, and because of such, she has to be deemed my heir. But in private, do as you wish.” He did not look back at Loki as he walked out of the room, and passed the grieving handmaid, who mourned her employer, a woman who in truth, trusted her with her secrets, even ones she never actually spoke them, but her actions revealed. 

Loki walked to the head of the bed, and leant over Kari’s still form to kiss her forehead. His jaw clenched as he felt how cold she had become in such a short time. “I will make sure she knows of you my darling. She will know of how much we loved one another, I swear it. I will make you proud of us.” The tears fell from his face onto her. “I swear.” 

He stood tall and walked from the room. Outside he noticed Helena. “You have a new charge.” He informed her. Rising to her feet, the handmaid looked at him in teary eyed confusion. “Baby Mya needs to be tended to; you were being trained to help Kari with such were you not?” He nearly choked again using her name and thinking of her. The hand maid nodded. “Well then, if that is what she wanted, that is what will happen.” 

“Yes your highness. It will be an honour to help raise her.” The maid gave a small but genuine smile. Nodding silently, Loki walked on. He found Frigga with the baby in her rooms, humming a lullaby to her, turning around, his mother paused when she saw him. He walked over and took the baby from her. 

“Loki?” 

“Her name is Mya.” He informed her. 

“It’s perfect, a beautiful name for a beautiful child.” Frigga smiled sadly. “She has your nose.” Loki stared back at her. “You think I never noticed? The looks of adoration, for the past fifty years or so, then when you realised the child was yours, the way you could not be parted from her, and its seidr, I figured it out immediately.” 

“You said nothing.”

“I know. What you both did to Thor, making him believe she was his; that was wrong. But what was done to you both, how any could think you could be kept apart. It was unavoidable.” 

“We did not know what else to do, not without shaming us all.” 

“I know, but it is done, and we cannot undo it.” 

“He is accepting her as his publically.”

“I knew he would.” 

“Mother…I don’t know what to do.”

“Welcome to parenthood my son. But fear not, I will help you.”

“I’m scared.”

“You’d be a fool not to be.” 

“I don’t know if I can do this without her.” Fresh tears welled in his eyes. Baby Mya began to stir, looking up at him, her little being sensing his distress. Again her little hand rose from the blanket, and glowed blue. Sitting in a chair, he allowed his own seidr flow to his hand, when he let her tiny fist wrap around his, she calmed again immediately. “You know me, don’t you?” He smiled, she just looked back at him her baby blue eyes focusing on the dark shadow against the bright room. “I will protect you my beautiful little Mya.”

X X X X X X

“Mya, be careful.” Loki warned. The chocolate brown haired girl grinned wickedly back at him as she took another step toward the pond. 

“You worry too much Papa.” She laughed. 

“I worry because I have reason to, you are turning me grey, child.” 

Mya erupted in laughter. “Fine, here I will come back if you are so concerned.” She sighed. 

“Good. So what is new with you?” 

“Nothing. Father and Sif are having another child.” 

“I heard.” 

Thor had taken Sif as his wife not half a century after Kari’s passing, since then they had had two sons, however as first born, Mya still had to be deemed Thor's heir. Mya stood beside Thor's new family at formal events, and she did actually enjoy her time around Thor, but there was always a complexity to their relationship, guilt still played a factor in Thor's memory of Kari, and looking at the green that ever so slightly tinted the blue eyes of his supposed daughter, so did anger. Loki assisted him in his rule still, but he was somewhat less inclined to be involved too much in anything other than what required his input, he usually shied from public behind the scenes, training Mya in seidr along with his mother when she was not being prepared to rule after Thor. 

“Why must I call him that?” She sat down beside him on the bench.

“It is just the way it has to be.”

“It feels wrong.”

“I know my little dove.” Loki kissed her forehead. 

“I miss her.” 

“I do to.”

“But I never knew her.” Mya looked to the ground sadly. 

“It does not mean you cannot love her.” 

“Will you ever find someone else to make you happy, like he did?”

“I think not little dove, your mother was my love.” 

“And now? You don’t have any happiness?”

“Now I have you.” 

“You deserve love Papa.” 

“I had more love in almost sixty years than most people will have in their five thousand year lives.” He smiled sadly. “None would ever compare.”

“You’ll never know if you do not try.” Mya argued. 

“Sweetheart, when you lose your true love there is nothing that can ever come close to it.” Frigga explained walking slowly to the bench where Loki sat with his daughter in her old age. “Your Papa will never love another woman again.” 

“That’s just sad.” Mya’s eyes welled with tears. 

“Do not weep my little dove, she awaits me in Valhalla, where we will have a lot longer than a few millennia in each others arms.” He smiled looking to the skies. 

Frigga watched as her son tried to will away his sadness. “Loki.” He turned to face his mother. “The day Mya was born; I noticed something in Kari’s hand. She refused to let it go.”

“What was it?” 

“A piece of paper, just a scrap but she held it fast.” 

“And? What was on it?” 

Frigga beckoned Mya to turn towards her, and reached for the locket the girl wore, a gift from her Papa on her hundredth name’s day. With a wave of her seidr, she clicked it open, and a small scrap of paper fell from it. 

Loki was the one to catch it, his eyes immediately overflowing with hot, heavy tears. “She kept it.” 

“And held onto it for dear life.” Frigga nodded, though she knew not the true value of it. 

“What, what is it Papa?” 

“The morning your mother was forced to wed Thor, I left a scrap of paper with her before I fled; she kept it all that time, until the day you were born.” He held out the scrap for his daughter to read. “This is why I can love no other. Something as simple as that, meant so much to us.” He explained. 

Mya looked at the piece of battered paper in her hand once more, before folding it again and placing it back in the locket, using her own blue seidr to lock it again. “I know you want it Papa, but I need it, I need to be reminded of what I am.” 

Loki frowned at her. “What are you little dove?” 

“Proof, that death cannot kill love.” She held the locket tight in her grasp, the piece of paper inside still reading the words it had read for nearly a millennia. “I’m so sorry my dove; I will love you for eternity’.


End file.
